Chapter 81: Some people are redeemed in despair
Chapter 81: Some people are redeemed in despair (55, 1000 monthly tickets plus more)
Tomoyo Kobayashi hurried from the convenience store where she worked part-time to the outside of Maruzen Marunouchi Bookstore. She didn't expect that there was such a long line outside the bookstore at almost ten o'clock.
Didn't she remember that the bookstore closed at 10:?
Why are there so many people queuing up to buy books at this time?
If I had known this, I should have asked for half an hour's leave to come here in advance!
Tomoyo Kobayashi sighed and could only quietly walk to the end of the line and wait quietly for her turn to enter the store.
She is a sophomore in the Faculty of Literature at the University of Tokyo and also the leader of the Haiku Research Group of the Faculty of Literature at the University of Tokyo. Everyone likes to call her Leader Kobayashi.
After Kitagawa-sensei's new book "No Longer Human" was released this weekend, many students in the Department of Literature bought a copy while it was hot, and many people failed to grab the new book on the morning of the first reading day.
Then something strange happened.
After that morning, the students who had watched "No Longer Human" were either gloomy and silent, or simply asked for leave to go home, while those who had not watched it could only worry about it.
Fortunately, Kawade Shobo restocked its stock at an incredibly fast speed, and at 1 p.m., the shelves of major bookstores were filled with No Longer Human again.
But something even stranger happened.
In the afternoon, the students who bought new books asked for leave one after another or became absent-minded after reading them, as if they were possessed by evil spirits.
This made Kobayashi Tomoyo a little hesitant to buy it.
She wanted to wait for everyone's feedback, see the situation in a few days, and then decide whether to buy it.
Then one night later, her father, who was also a fan of Teacher Kitagawa's books, couldn't help it and asked her to buy "No Longer Human" today.
Thinking of his father's terrible condition on the hospital bed, Tomoyo Kobayashi gritted his teeth and ran to buy the book as soon as he finished his part-time job, regardless of the quality of the book.
Other people in the team were discussing "No Longer Human", and occasionally they would use terrifying words like "cult", "damn", and "want to kill people", which made her even more frightened.
It seems that Mr. Kitagawa’s new book is quite extraordinary?
What on earth did I write that caused so many strange reactions from everyone?
Thinking of this, Tomoyo Kobayashi finally arrived at the store.
"A copy of No Longer Human!" She raised her hand to signal the clerk.
The clerk Sang quickly handed over a brand new copy of "No Longer Human", but there was no "Thank you for your patronage" or "Welcome to visit again".
She had a depressed expression on her face, as if she had no desire to live.
Most of the other shop assistants had the same expression, which scared Kobayashi Tomoyo again.
She was only about 1.5 meters tall. After trying to stand on tiptoe, she was surprised to find a line of eye-catching hand-painted words on the booth:
“Readers who want to buy No Longer Human must read to the end until they finish it! Otherwise, we do not recommend you to buy and read it.”
"A bookstore wouldn't recommend books to readers? Will something happen if I don't finish reading?" The speaker was a tall middle-aged man wearing a white coat covered in oil stains and smelling strongly of fried squid. "Give me a copy of Mr. Beichuan's No Longer Human. By the way, why isn't even the manager in your store?"
Generally, when the store is packed with customers, the store manager will also work with the staff in the store.
After he said this, Kobayashi Tomoyo realized that the store was full of clerks wearing name badges, and there was no sign of the store manager.
Forget it, it has nothing to do with me. I’ll go home and show the book to my dad!
Thinking this, she rushed to the subway with her book in her arms without looking back. If she went too late, she would miss the last subway!
There was a faint sound behind me.
"The store manager attempted suicide but failed. He is now recuperating in the hospital. If there is nothing else, please invite the next customer to come over."
Back to the small rental house.
After cooking, giving her daughter a bath and putting her to sleep, Mayumi Aso, wearing a thin pajamas, finally had a little time for herself.
I glanced at the clock on the wall and realized it was already 11 o'clock in the evening.
She felt that her day seemed to consist of only three short hours from 11pm to 2am.
I'm so tired. Let's read a book and relax.
Mayumi Aso opened "No Longer Human" and couldn't wait to read it.
She sat on a small stool with her plump buttocks pressed against it, with the flesh overflowing on both sides. It was a bit uncomfortable, but soon the discomfort disappeared.
The roar of the washing machine nearby seemed to fade away gradually.
She quickly immersed herself in Mr. Kitagawa's writing.
Mayumi Aso likes reading Mr. Kitagawa's books very much, because she can feel a different kind of happiness in them, and they also make her deeply aware of her own shortcomings.
As winners of the Newcomer Award for Group Portraits, if Mr. Kitagawa is the scorching sun in the sky, then she is the crawling ant underground.
I don't even have the qualifications to look up to him!
Time passed quickly.
The Ōba Yozo in the book is like her after her gender change.
The bad habit of trying to please others since childhood, the weak character that is criticized and tolerated by the world, and the tragic scene of a family being destroyed by a cult!
Too familiar, too similar, too immersive.
unconsciously.
Tears flowed from Mayumi Aso's eyes.
She was in so much pain, so desperate, so uncomfortable, and so empty.
Her tears wet the pages of the book, and she was so scared that she hurried to wipe them away. Then she suddenly saw the words written by Kitagawa Hideyu in the afterword in the wet pages.
"If you were once Oba Yezo, or are now Oba Yezo, please do not be sad or upset. It is not you who has brought you to this point, but this unscrupulous society, this ruthless country, and those damned cults.
Don't be sad, don't be upset, please keep working hard and live bravely.
Some people are sinking in death, while others are redeemed in despair. Please live well for those you love and those who love you, and then please go and redeem others. "
Mayumi Aso has finished watching "No Longer Human".
Every word, from the preface to the postscript, until the sentence "We are all Ōba Yozo, but we cannot become Ōba Yozo."
She felt her mind suddenly become much clearer.
It's like something is breaking out of its cocoon.
Perhaps most people will feel lost and desperate after reading this book.
But as a writer herself, she can clearly feel the light of redemption that almost breaks through the paper, conveyed by Mr. Kitagawa in "No Longer Human"!
"Mom, why are you crying? Mom, please don't cry. Aizi will listen to you from now on. Mom, don't cry. Mom, be good, Aizi, listen to me."
A pair of small hands suddenly reached out and slowly wiped away her tears.
Looking at her daughter Aso Aiko, she remembered the prototype of the protagonist in the book, Takuya Itsuki's daughter Yumiko Itsuki, who was killed by a cult, and her nose suddenly felt sore.
"Don't cry, Mom. Don't cry, my beloved son." She hugged her daughter and suddenly understood the meaning of her efforts to live.
"If you can't finish it, don't watch it? What kind of weird rule is this, haha."
After hearing what his daughter said, Kobayashi Ken, who was lying in bed with only half of his body able to move, smiled and opened the new book by Teacher Kitagawa.
He was once the most famous and best tailor in the neighborhood.
Five years ago, the suit shop he opened here was doing incredibly good business, with orders for more than 100 suits per year.
Not only him, in the past there were forty shops of all kinds lined up on this street, making it bustling and prosperous.
But over the years, as customers dwindled, stores closed one after another.
Last year, only two customers came to his shop to order new suits, but this year, there has been none.
When the bubble burst, it was not only the family business that was ruined, but also his health.
After an unexpected cerebral hemorrhage, he became a disabled person and could never get out of bed again.
His wife had to go out to work every day, doing three odd jobs, and then she converted the suit shop into a full-fledged tailor shop, making a living by sewing and mending.
He once thought about dying so as not to burden his daughter who was studying at the University of Tokyo, and his wife who had given everything for this family.
Now reading is the only thing he can do.
As the pages of the book were turned again and again, Ken Kobayashi's emotions fluctuated like a roller coaster.
Ōba Yozo's life was like a joke, but he couldn't laugh.
Several times, he wanted to give up and not watch it, but his daughter's words immediately rang in his mind.
Watch to the end, you must watch to the end.
Then he gritted his teeth, dragged his heavy arms, and finally finished reading it word by word.
"call"
After closing the book, Kobayashi Ken lay on his back looking at the ceiling, unable to come back to his senses for a long time.
This is a good book worth recommending to other friends.
Teacher Beichuan used his sharp pen and ink to carve out a dull and bleak life.
After the cerebral hemorrhage, Ken Kobayashi always felt that there was no one in the world more miserable than himself.
But compared with Takuya Yanjing's life, how happy he is!
There is no evil cult to destroy the family, the wife is hardworking and cheerful, and the daughter is sensible and well-behaved.
Although the tailor shop's business is not good, we can still make a living like this.
Why is he so depressed? Why can't he just try harder?
Would it be enough to repay my daughter and wife for all they have done if I just lie there and complain about my fate for the rest of my life, or even die?
"Tomoyo! Tomoyo!"
"What's wrong, Dad? Do you want to wipe yourself?"
"No, it's not! Do you remember the wooden box I put in the basement?"
"Is it the one under the sewing machine?"
"Yes, that's it! There should be an old iron in there. It should still work if it's powered on, right? Don't we have a lot of ironing to do at home? Bring it here, and let Dad try to see if he can do it."
Tetsuno Yamada walked back to the barbecue stall alone and slowly read a book in the moonlight.
This is the few moments that belong to him.
As a former corporate executive, he knows better than anyone that low-income families underinvest in their children's education, which may result in their children being deprived of opportunities for further education or employment.
At the age of 50, he was fired due to company downsizing after the bubble burst.
He is currently raising two children, working in three stores at the same time, and running his own barbecue stall every night. Four of the days he works late night jobs that pay higher hourly wages.
Even so, his monthly income is still only 14 yen.
Five years ago, his monthly income was 5 yen.
He hopes to send his children to college, too.
But he was already in his fifties and couldn't find a formal job, so he could only work odd jobs while being a barbecue chef.
For the sake of his children's future, he wanted to take on another part-time job.
The pressure of life made him breathless.
Reading became the only pastime.
On the silent street, the only sound was the rustling of pages turning.
Tetsuo Yamada walked slower and slower, and looked more and more obsessed.
Kitagawa Hide's book was the only motivation for him to continue subscribing to "Gunzo". After the completion of "Ball", he felt lost for a long time.
Fortunately, "A Wild Sheep Chase" soon followed.
But I heard that Mr. Kitagawa seemed to have switched to another publishing house?
In short, wherever he went, Yamada Tetsuo followed.
The style of this book "No Longer Human" is obviously different from the "Youth Trilogy", but he still tasted Mr. Kitagawa's unique sense of "self-redemption" in the book.
From birth to death.
Perhaps some people would be angry about the cult persecuting Takuya Yanjing's family.
Perhaps some people will feel sad about Yumiko Yan'ai's death.
Perhaps some people will lament that Ōba Eizo's life was even worse than their own.
Maybe someone
Tetsuo Yamada feels that everyone who reads "No Longer Human" will have his or her own insights and redemption.
For him, the greatest redemption this book brings him is that he hopes to become someone like Mr. Kitagawa.
Mr. Kitagawa is Takuya Yanjing's friend. He tried hard to save his friend's life. When his friend died, he didn't want his life to be lost in the long river of history.
So he wrote "No Longer Human" to redeem Takuya Yanjing and the lower-class people who had similar experiences as him.
Tetsuo Yamada has always felt that he is different from most people.
Indeed, his life had experienced a Waterloo and was not going well.
But he never felt lost or desperate.
He is determined, hardworking, and has a will of steel.
But after reading the words in the afterword, I remembered what the clerk said in the bookstore today, and the slogan on the booth.
He suddenly realized.
I am not Oba Ezo, but everyone around me is Oba Ezo.
"If I were in the book, if I were a friend of Ōba Yozo and Izumi Takuya, maybe I could save them."
Tetsuno Yamada suddenly understood what he should do.
He can't write a book "No Longer Human" for those "Oba Yezo" like Mr. Kitagawa, but he can redeem others in his own way!
"Tomorrow I will buy more copies of No Longer Human and put them on the carts and on every dining table so that everyone can see them. I want to pass on the words in it, Mr. Kitagawa's true thoughts, to the 'Oba Yozo' and others."
Tetsuo Yamada looked at the moonlight shining on the pages of the book.
I inexplicably thought of a sentence from "Hear the Wind Sing", which was also quoted by Mr. Beichuan in his postscript.
Many people may not be able to understand its meaning, but at this moment, Tetsuo Yamada understood it.
“There are many lights visible on the other side of the mountain, but of course I don’t know which one is in your ward.
Some are lamps for poor families, and some are lamps for rich families.
Some are for hotels, some for schools, and some for companies.
I think people live different lives. I couldn't help crying when I thought that it was my first time to feel this kind of wind.
It's been a long time since I cried like this, but I'm not crying because I sympathize with you.
What I want to say is this, and I will only say it once, so you must listen carefully.
I like you guys so much."
He could almost recite this passage.
As I was reciting, I looked up and suddenly found that it was dawn.
Because I have to take care of my family member in the hospital, I can only post 5 updates today.
Looking at the situation, I won’t be able to escape the fate of updating 5 times tomorrow.
In short, as long as you dare to ask me to update more, I will continue to update 5 times!
4000 words per update, 2 words a day, that’s a lot!
By the way, thank you all for your support of monthly tickets and rewards. I won’t go into details one by one. When the quota is reached, I will continue to provide more updates!
Thank you very much for your support!
Every bit of your subscription money will give my family member in the hospital a chance to breathe!
Thank you so much!
(End of this chapter)