Chapter 75: Fragmentary Diary
Chapter 75: Fragmentary Diary (6)
* 6 / 8
He saw a world of pain and despair.
The extinguished star core, the broken crust, the rivers and mountains were frozen together, and the planet where I was born had long since become a dying stone.
The animal's front paws stepped on the rough sand on the ground, leaving a trail of footprints on the thin snow and thick sand. The tentacles hidden under the flesh and blood sensed the cold and dry air with the smell of ice and snow, leaving a breath of withering and death wherever it passed. The land here was dead, the sky was dead, and so he felt that the God of Order was also dead.
He had been walking on the boundless ice field for a hundred years, and his alien body, which was neither wood nor beast, was covered by the blizzard into a huge black silhouette, which gave rise to some strange legends and ballads. Ever since he knew that the star that provided light once every few decades in the sky was the one that the God of Order had gone to great lengths to change its original orbit so that it would pass by this huge rock wrapped in solid ice and then do some orbital motion, he no longer expected to see even a glimmer of hope from here.
"…Why did the civilization of this planet perish?…"
"The remaining barren land and manpower could not afford the burden of rebuilding civilization, so I let them abandon civilization. ..."
"…The laws of the extraordinary world have been concealed?…"
"…To promote extraordinary powers in such a world will only hasten the extinction of the race."
"...So the 'priests' and 'priests' are fighting, while the 'puppets' and 'thugs'...are doing clerical work. In this way, you prevent us from playing the role correctly, causing us to lose control and die early, and then assign the extraordinary characteristics of the dead to the new lives created..."
"This way, we will never have the chance to deduce the correct path, and we will never threaten your position."
They parted on bad terms. He preferred to call her by the name in an ancient book rather than the God of Order. Branka was too afraid of the cold, she was afraid that she would freeze to death in the lonely and endless cold night, so she chose to use the lives of others to keep warm. She watched over the two tribes of about a thousand people, watching them play house in her hands, giving herself some incomplete and selfish comfort.
Wandering, strolling, but without a destination. He occasionally thinks about his real goal: he once saw a beautiful world in books and ruins, but that world was destroyed before he was born, and it was obviously not the future he should pursue. Looking at the present, looking around, all is sorrow, Branca holds on to the only possibility of "continuation", and as long as she is unwilling to let go, there will never be peace here.
He only admired the world in the past, and had no attachment to the present world. Life once shone brightly on this planet, but now it was dimmed in the cold night that even gods feared. If the meaning of life is just to live, then the God of Decline and Destruction would deny such a world. He wanted to end this meaningless pain. He thought, guessed, and calculated silently in his heart. But the organ called "heart" was really strange. When he saw children starving to death, compatriots fighting for a little food, and lives that smiled only when they faced death, this organ always felt a kind of pain of being cut open and gouged out.
But if he saves one, the other will starve to death. If he chooses one race, the other will fall apart.
After a long period of hesitation and struggle, he asked his heart:
"I will feel pain no matter what choice I make, so should I just stand by and watch without changing anything? That's definitely not okay, then I'd be like that damn Branca, unlucky."
"But the lives here are incapable of deciding their own fate. Without God, they can only die... If all this is wrong, then perhaps this place doesn't need salvation at all, because the essence of salvation is just to continue Branca's wrong decisions."
"What is needed here is total destruction."
“And the freshmen!”
Great. He thought calmly, too terrible, am I such a cold and ruthless creature by nature? But if, as he saw, everything, the gorgeous galaxy and the dazzling sea of stars were just a dream of the god sleeping in the palace, where is the dividing line between nothingness and reality? His heart would still ache, but that was no longer important. If what he was pursuing was the only salvation, then - accept it. Accept the sacrifices required for his own goals, silence his heart, cool his blood, and let reason and divinity replace the human nature that could not make the right decision.
He stepped onto his own long stairway to godhood, sacrificed everything on the altar, and welcomed the destruction that was a thousand years late on behalf of the cold-fearing god.
Playing a song of destruction for the world in which he was born.
After everything is over... perhaps, the journey that belongs solely to Him, without any purpose, can finally begin.
(End of this chapter)