Chapter 447: A Fool Defeats an Expert
Chapter 447: A Fool Defeats an Expert
"It's so lively."
After getting off the car, Tan Wenjie stopped a fat man.
"There are so many people in front of me, is anyone giving out free vouchers?"
"I won the lottery." The fat man pointed at his face and said, "I heard that there was an ancient man descending from the sky, so I came here to join in the fun. I didn't expect to be beaten like this."
"Forgive my poor eyesight." Tan Wenjie looked at the man from left to right, "Could it be an internal injury?"
The fat man took out his ID.
"Did you take the wrong photo?" Tan Wenjie asked puzzledly.
The two faces are very different, and the weight difference is at least 50 kilograms.
"It was those two bastards who did it!"
After he said that, he turned around and left, cursing under his breath, and he would never get involved in muddy water again even if he was beaten to death.
When Tan Wenjie walked over, he saw a group of people standing in formation, surrounding two figures, one tall and one short. The two men were wearing gold and silver armor respectively, and the tall one was laughing.
"How dare you come to trouble us when you are so incompetent?"
"How to do?"
"Group fight?"
"Catch him first!"
The gods have been causing too much noise lately, and a group of local wizards have been getting impatient, as if they were obsessed with anything related to gods.
Now two people fell from the sky, and their first thought was to test and gain benefits from each other.
Tan Wenjie had never seen such a shameless group of people who actually wanted to use coercion and bribery to gain benefits from others.
He really couldn't bear to see a group of people trying to embarrass two ancient people.
If I let them succeed, how should I take advantage of them?
You could tell from the looks of those two men that they were not smart. Given his habit of taking advantage of others, he would not give them away even if he could not use them.
Tan Wenjie took a few steps back and shouted loudly in the darkness: "Ah, the police are coming! Run!"
no response?
"It's raining, go home and collect the clothes--!"
The crowd dispersed.
"Is it so useful?"
Surprisingly, it turns out that ghost hunters are just their part-time jobs and their real identities are househusbands.
The employment prospects for ghost hunters are bleak, and I seem to have been misunderstood as a gigolo. I suddenly feel a sense of empathy.
"Wait, why are you running this way?!"
Tan Wenjie stood where he was and noticed that this group of people suddenly ran away with shy looks and screams, as if someone behind them suddenly opened his windbreaker, revealing an ugly body with nothing on.
He was fearful in his heart. He was not afraid of demons and monsters, but if it was a pervert, he would definitely avoid him because the mental trauma caused by it could not be cured.
"Hahaha, this bottle of medicine can make people invulnerable to swords and guns!"
"Please let me go and give me the antidote."
Tan Wenjie saw Jin and Yin escorting a white-haired old man. They took out a porcelain bottle and sprinkled something on his body. Then the man suddenly became stronger and more arrogant, which was eye-catching.
Lao Dang's nostrils were flared like a cow's, his head was red, the redness extended to his neck, and his eyes were bloodshot.
He roared and pounced on the nearest person. The man reacted quickly and pulled a piece of wood next to him to block his butt.
"Peck...woodpecker?!"
The man covered his butt and struggled to escape, and the broken wooden board fell at Tan Wenjie's feet.
"Hiss, it's even more ferocious than my love for a piece of firewood, and even more so than the strange and lustful Hehuan powder."
With red eyes, Na Lao Dang rushed towards Tan Wenjie, but was slapped away by Tan Wenjie.
"Will knocking here knock someone out?"
It would be best if he could knock him out, as the scene of beating someone to death is too bloody. He hasn't had time to eat breakfast yet and doesn't want to affect his appetite.
After thinking about it, he hooked the man with his foot and lifted him up, then gently pushed him into the trash can, leaving only his two legs kicking outside.
"You are too arrogant." Tan Wenjie looked at the two of them, shook his head and sighed, "Hand over the things, such dangerous things should not be in your hands."
"Here comes another one!" The tall man laughed, "Prepare to die, kid!"
He rushed towards Tan Wenjie with his fists raised. What he hated most in his life was people who looked better than himself. It just so happened that he was too ugly, so he hated half of the people in the world.
The fist hit Tan Wenjie with a gust of wind. His eyes suddenly blurred and when he reacted, he was lifted up and suspended in the air.
"Innate divine power?"
He was as strong as an ox, and he really never thought that there would be someone stronger than him.
But as the body was lifted up and moved slowly, I saw the trash can getting closer and closer, and there was a person inside kicking his legs.
His face changed drastically: "Wait! Wait a minute!"
If it is accidentally thrown into the trash can, the consequences for your anus will be disastrous.
The space was too narrow, he must not resist, he had lived his entire life where he could kneel behind other people but would never allow others to kneel behind him.
"Little turtle, save me!"
The short man who had been watching shook his head when he heard this: "Don't even think about it. I can't beat him. I told you a long time ago not to use that kind of medicine on others."
"Who told these bastards to start fighting without saying anything?"
"Master, please spare my life! I am willing to give you the medicine." Juhua was about to be dazzled by the light, and his keenness prompted his brain to think, and finally he thought of a way to beg for mercy.
Upon hearing this, Tan Wenjie put the man down.
Looking at the porcelain bottle handed over, Tan Wenjie said seriously: "It's useless for me to have this stuff, but it's too dangerous to put it in your hands. Just like this old man, he is over 80 years old. You used this medicine on him and now he is in so much pain that he would rather die than live."
"I'm only in my thirties." A heavy breathing voice came from the trash can, "Let me out now, or I'm really going to explode."
Thirty-something? I'll believe it if you don't pee on your shoes.
Tan Wenjie looked at the tall man and said, "You caused this trouble, so you solve it."
The voice from the trash can came again: "No, my home is nearby."
Tan Wenjie: “…”
After the person was released, he ran away with red eyes.
There were only three people left at the scene.
Seeing that Tan Wenjie did not attack again, the two of them breathed a sigh of relief.
"We didn't want to attack this expert. They were the first to do it."
“I don’t know them well either.”
Tan Wenjie was called in temporarily to save the situation, and he had no good feelings towards that group of people, although he also had other intentions.
"I heard you guys fell from the sky."
"Yes, my name is Ma Shangfeng, and he is Xiaogui!"
"What a great name! Very impressive!" Tan Wenjie nodded in approval. "Would you mind telling me why the two of you are here?"
Just as the little turtle was about to speak, Ma Feng immediately said, "This story starts from the death of my fifth wife."
Tan Wenjie took a half step back and said disdainfully: "Why don't you start from birth?"
He was just a passerby who wanted to see if there was any money to be made from the two of them. It was not a big deal for him to have married five wives.
Ma Shangfeng nodded in agreement: "That's right, then let's start from when I was born. My father died in my belly on the day I was born..."
Shit, this guy has a bad brain and is stupid.
Tan Wenjie looked at the little turtle.
The little turtle suddenly felt nervous as if the teacher called his name in class. He squeezed his buttocks and answered in panic, "When was I born? I was adopted by my master, and my master never told me that."
This is also stupid.
Even though he usually only cheated on pretty and stupid girls, when facing these two people, Tan Wenjie didn't mind showing off his skills a little bit. With his intelligence, he could definitely cheat them out of nothing and they could even help him count the money.
"Why are you here?"
"Because the mysterious gate of heaven and earth has been opened."
"Why was the mysterious door to heaven and earth opened?" Tan Wenjie strongly suspected that the two men were donkeys, and they would take a step when they were pulled, and would not move if they were not pulled.
"Because we and our master were trying to destroy the Fusang Ghost King, we accidentally opened the Heaven and Earth Mysterious Gate when our magic powers collided, and we came here." The little turtle's logic was very clear, and he suddenly woke up, "We want to find our master!"
"You are lucky to have met me." Tan Wenjie said, "I can help you find a master. We can get to know each other without fighting."
"You don't want the cultivation spells we have too, do you?" The little turtle looked at Tan Wenjie warily.
Tan Wenjie cursed in his heart, calling them a bunch of idiots who are always causing trouble but can’t do anything good.
How can you steal something that belongs to someone else if you want it? If you can't guarantee that you can get it, you must never reveal your true intentions.
"Of course not. I'm just used to helping others when I see injustice and doing good things. If you don't believe me, I just helped an 18-year-old girl cross the road. Being kind to others is in my bones."
He spoke righteously, with anger on his face due to being misunderstood by others.
As a good person, you must never allow yourself to be slandered by others!
At the same time, he released his aura slightly, accelerating the airflow and blowing the hair of the three people.
"Gudong!" X2
The two of them swallowed at the same time, cold sweat oozing from their foreheads.
They just think a little slowly, they are not really looking for death.
The person in front of me must be a master.
"That's great. We also like to be helped by others!" X2
It’s all because there are too many stones on the ground and their knees hurt when they kneel down, which cannot reflect how sincere they are in their hearts at this moment.
Tan Wenjie frowned: "You two grown men have hands and feet, how can you always ask for charity from others?"
Two people: "..."
So do you need help from others?
Tan Wenjie sighed.
Too stupid, there's no hope.
If he were to do this, he would definitely shout "savior" and then offer all his magic weapons and skills to the person, and at the same time flatter the person and praise his handsome appearance.
"Gurgle~" Both of their stomachs growled.
"We used up a lot of energy and magic power to capture the Fuso Ghost King." The little turtle rubbed his stomach and said awkwardly, "I'm hungry."
"I'll treat you to dinner!"
He didn't want to cheat others of their cultivation techniques, nor did he think of blackmailing them. However, as two ancient people with hands and feet but no money, it was reasonable for them to accept high-value help from others and hand over all their techniques to pay off their debts.
Ma Shangfeng and Xiaogui looked at each other. The man in front of them was moody and powerful, and looked like a top-notch evildoer in the martial arts world.
The only solution for now is to compromise temporarily.
It's definitely not because they are really hungry.
On the roadside, Tan Wenjie opened the car door and saw two people circling around the car strangely.
"What is this?" "Car."
Tan Wenjie opened the car door for them: "You can think of this era's means of transportation as a horseless carriage."
"No horse?" Ma Shangfeng nodded and shook his head.
"I think you're onto something, but I have no proof."
The two nodded and got into the car.
"How much did this car cost?" Ma Shangfeng twisted his butt and found a suitable position.
It's comfortable and he likes it very much.
If he has the chance to go back, he would also like to get one to bring back.
"My girlfriend gave it to me. It's worth about three to five thousand taels of silver."
A gift from your girlfriend?
He must be a pervert. How can a real man want something that belongs to a woman?
Damn it, even as an ancient person I feel envious and jealous.
In order to entertain the guests from ancient times, Tan Wenjie decided to find a restaurant that was expensive enough and feed them sugar-coated bullets first. This was his style of doing things. Harmony brings wealth, and he was not afraid of asking for a high price. As long as there was a price, he would be fine.
It's not his style to use fists directly.
While he was driving, Ma Shangfeng and Xiao Gui were whispering, but the car was very quiet and every word they said went into Tan Wenjie's ears.
Pretend not to hear first, then listen secretly!
"I have a plan."
"How to do?"
"Keep low, he must want something from us just like those people before, let's pretend to cooperate and contact Master to ask him to come and save us."
"That's right, let's do it!"
It seemed like the two of them hit it off, but in fact all three of them had the same opinion.
Tan Wenjie was pleasantly surprised. He did not expect the two to cooperate so well. He decided to pretend to be deaf and blind to help the two find their master as soon as possible and reunite master and apprentice.
It is too slow to squeeze money out of his apprentices, and the IQ of the two gentlemen is not high. If they recite some parts incorrectly, he will be the one to suffer. As the saying goes, a fool can defeat a master, so he chose to be cautious.
Stop at the intersection ahead.
Tan Wenjie watched the refreshed "old man" walk by, as well as the curly-haired housewife who looked hungry next to him.
He immediately turned to look at the two people behind him with a questioning look.
He thought it was some magical medicine, but it took less than twenty minutes in total, which was a complete waste of his expectations.
Ma Shangfeng was puzzled: "That's not right. I used this medicine and knocked out five people at once."
The little turtle scratched his head: "Maybe zero multiplied by any number is zero?"
It turned out to be the case.
That would explain it.
Before driving to the restaurant, Tan Wenjie first took the two of them to change their clothes. The two were too ostentatious. It was definitely not because he was interested in the gold and silver armor, nor was it because he wanted to take them for himself after he saw that the two pieces were actually robes.
After changing clothes, they both looked normal.
It was almost noon when we arrived at the restaurant, so we had lunch together.
"It's my treat." Tan Wenjie picked up the menu.
Sugar-coated bullet? X2
The two looked at each other.
That’s wishful thinking. They will never fall for it.
An hour later.
"Ah, I feel so full~" Feng immediately patted his belly.
When people are very hungry, everything they eat will taste delicious. If what they eat is already delicious, it will taste even better.
The little turtle was so full that he kept nodding his head. He didn't expect that just eating the sugar coating could make him almost die. He no longer had the strength to fire the cannonball back. It was definitely not because they were weak-willed.
After eating this meal, I want to eat it again for the next one.
The two of them followed Tan Wenjie home in a daze.
"I have a date today, you can take your time to rest, and I'll come back in the afternoon to take you to eat."
After saying that, Tan Wenjie turned and left.
The two people left in the living room staring at each other.
"Do you want to run away?"
"Of course I'll run, but wait, let me get some sleep. I'm so full."
"Yes, it is important to find a master, but there is no rush."
Tan Wenjie, who pretended to leave but actually wanted to follow: "..."
The two fell asleep on the sofa.
"Maybe he wanted to pretend to be asleep to trick me into relaxing my surveillance, and then take the opportunity to escape?"
Three hours later, Tan Wenjie felt that he should reflect on himself. He actually overestimated the enemy's IQ. The two men really fell asleep after eating, and it was not a strategy at all.
Fortunately, the one who was following was not Tan Wenjie himself, but his clone.
He himself is practicing the "Five Elements Technique".
After all, it's a magic spell, and it's worth practicing it.
In the evening, Tan Wenjie returned to his residence.
The sound of the door opening woke them both up.
"Is it time to eat?" Ma Shangfeng asked in a daze.
Tan Wenjie: “…”
Have you two forgotten that you need to escape and go find your master?
"I'm hungry too." The little turtle nodded.
"Let's go."
Tan Wenjie drove the two of them to a different restaurant, this time to eat Indian food, and he had already made sure that the chef in the kitchen was an authentic Ah San chef.
At the dinner table, the two of them feasted.
"What kind of dish is this? It smells so good."
“It looks disgusting, but tastes delicious.”
It's all spices, of course it smells good.
"Why don't you eat?" They looked at Tan Wenjie.
"I am bringing you to experience the exotic flavors. Actually, I don't really like this kind of taste."
He would rather eat boiled vegetables than vegetables cooked by Asan's left hand.
“It really has a very unique taste.”
Watching the two people moving quickly, Tan Wenjie moved his chair back slightly.
In the evening, Tan Wenjie arranged for the two of them to stay in the guest room.
The two men, who were well-fed and in good spirits, were curious about the modern equipment.
"what is this?"
"TV set."
"TV Chicken?"
Tan Wenjie picked up the remote control and showed it to the two of them.
"Wow, who is this person? His martial arts skills are amazing."
“That’s Yang Guo.”
"This one, this girl looks pretty good."
"That's Little Dragon Girl."
"what about this?"
“That’s advertising.”
Tan Wenjie looked at the two people who were staring at the TV with great energy, and even fought over the remote control.
"I'm going to rest first." Tan Wenjie said, "You guys should rest early."
"Okay!" The two waved their hands.
Tan Wenjie: “…”
He reminded again: "I sleep very soundly at night."
"Got it!" X2
The voice was impatient.
The next morning, when Tan Wenjie opened the door, he saw two people yawning with dark circles under their eyes, staring at the TV.
"..."
"Are you up?" Little Turtle asked immediately after seeing Tan Wenjie, "When are we going to eat?"
"You didn't sleep last night?"
"I was originally going to sleep, but when I saw that it was almost dawn outside, I was worried that we would fall asleep after you got up and miss dinner time, so I watched TV for a while longer and waited for you to wake up."
Tan Wenjie: “…”
He actually tried to use a trick to lure the two of them. He was really too cautious.
It turns out that an idiot can defeat a master. I think too much.
"Aren't you looking for the master? Do you have any clues?"
"Yes!" The little turtle suddenly woke up, "We still need to find a master!"
Then he approached Ma Feng as if no one was around and asked in a low voice, "Should we run away?"
Ma Shangfeng rubbed his stomach and said, "Why don't we eat first before leaving?"
The two nodded in agreement.
Just do it.
Tan Wenjie couldn't help but look in the mirror and wonder why the two of them treated him like an idiot. It just so happened that he was also preparing to eat, so he could take the two of them with him.
After dinner, the two of them collapsed on the sofa in Tan Wenjie's house again and watched TV, even the commercials.
Fortunately, the two of them don’t like eating hamburgers, otherwise the sense of déjà vu would be too strong, and he would think that Tiancan had run into the wrong copy.
As for finding a master?
Little Turtle explained to Tan Wenjie: "Actually, we don't know how to find a master. Our magic is very ordinary. It's better for us to stay still and wait for the master to find us."
Tan Wenjie: "I'll take you to eat Indian food later."
"Okay!" X2
Indian food turned out to be a reward!
(End of this chapter)