Chapter 118 You've Growt Taller
Chapter 118 You've Growt Taller
Then he was instantly crushed by the sight.
Chen Qingluo's eyes were still the same, without exaggerated eye shadow or gorgeous colored contact lenses. She looked at him like a high school girl looking at her deskmate, without affectation or pretending to be profound. She just stared at him blankly, looking at him without any titles, looking at him without any meaning. It was just Chen Qingluo looking at Wang Zixu.
It had been 12 years, 3 months, 5 days and one day, but her eyes brought him back to that summer. He realized that the trivial things about her were so stubborn. So many major events in life had passed, and his memory was dim and blurred, but he could not forget her eyes. At the moment of their meeting, he even wanted to say, I am back.
Before he knew it, Wang Zixu had been standing there for too long, so the host kindly repeated, "Please invite Wang Zixu to come up to the stage to receive the award."
Some people thought he was shy and applauded him from the audience. Some people wondered why he was so pretentious, thinking the show was not big enough? Some people laughed at him and said he was stunned by the big prize. Some people said, weren't these prizes pre-determined? Why was he pretending?
The most surprised and excited people were those who knew Wang Zixu. Especially his former colleagues, who were chattering and arguing, almost making a fuss. But no matter how much they argued, they could not change the fact that the Wang Zixu who won the first place was the Wang Zixu everyone knew.
Some of the discussions reached Wang Zixu's ears, but he didn't care. At this moment, all these things were meaningless. Even the first prize of the literary competition had lost its practical significance to him.
He walked towards the stage, meeting Chen Qingluo's gaze. He tried to look relaxed, as if he had already expected to win the first prize. This way he would look cooler in Chen Qingluo's eyes, or at least not look so clumsy.
But in retrospect, he was already 30 years old and still hanging around in this small place called Xihe, and it was already very uncool for his former high school classmates to give him awards. He was very frustrated and wanted to run away, but unfortunately he couldn't.
He began to regret why he hadn't changed into something more respectable like the others had done. His clothes were wrinkled and in a state of disarray, as if he had just played in a basketball game.
Chen Qingluo stood on the stage, secretly tearing her lower lip with her teeth. There was Wang Zixu in her eyes.
She tried hard to strike a dignified posture as befitting a special guest, putting on a proper smile and trying not to raise the corners of her mouth too high, but after a while the muscles on her face stiffened.
She didn't know whether to put her hands in front of her or behind her, didn't know whether to put her weight on her left foot or right foot, didn't know how to react when Wang Zixu walked in front of her, and didn't know whether she should talk to him.
In short, her mind was blank, she just felt that she must look very stupid, and she would definitely be exposed by Wang Zixu in a while. Wang Zixu, please come up quickly, I am so anxious.
The distance between the two seemed very long only in their own world. It flashed by in the eyes of the audience. Wang Zixu finally stood on the stage, facing Chen Qingluo. He was 1.79 meters tall without shoes, and more than 1.8 meters with shoes, while Chen Qingluo was 1.6 meters tall, so she could only look up at him.
Wang Zixu opened his mouth slightly, just wanting to say hello, to tell her that he had not forgotten her, and to find out if she had forgotten him, but he felt as if his throat was blocked by something and could not make a sound. Chen Qingluo also stared at him, without saying a word. Perhaps both of them were waiting for the other to speak first. The etiquette lady next to them came over at the right time, took Wang Zixu's arm and gently pushed him to a position with a better camera sense, and whispered to him to just stand here.
Wang Zixu looked back at Chen Qingluo in disappointment. He found that she was looking at him with similar eyes. Their eyes met again. Wang Zixu felt his heart beat a little slower.
He really wanted to know: Does she still remember me?
Zhao Peilin said that Chen Qingluo slammed the table at Professor Zhong for his manuscript, and from this point of view, she should still remember him. But after she slammed the table, she did not call him. She obviously just needed to borrow Ning Chunyan's phone, but she did not call. From this point of view, she may not remember him.
She shouldn't remember him. So many years have passed, and she didn't live a dull life like him, which was the same for ten years. Her life was so colorful. What kind of idiot would be obsessed with a high school classmate who was his deskmate for only two months for twelve years... She must not remember him.
But it is unlikely that she remembered nothing. She should still remember something, but it is definitely not as much or as rich as what he remembered.
He still remembers walking with her on the playground several times. Her neat sideburns and white neck are all vividly imprinted in his mind. He can even accurately tell whether the temperature was cold or hot that day, and what kind of flower fragrance the wind blew in his face. What class the teacher had just taught, what he said in class, and what he wrote between the lines to make her laugh, even if it only lasted 0.5 seconds...
He once thought that these memories that were not condensed in the album would gradually fade away, but he didn't expect that at the age of 30, the most unforgettable things in life are still these trivial things. These things are more solid than he thought, and have formed the underlying code of his person, the origin of his origin, and what he is running towards.
Sometimes caring too much about someone can make you crazy. Maybe he was already crazy when he didn't realize it. Normally, who makes 600 million yuan by winning the Nobel Prize in Literature? He planned for many years, maybe just to mention it with a smile when he met her again, you know? We both have 50 chances to win the Nobel Prize in Literature. This is why he stands here.
Unfortunately, times have changed and he no longer has the chance to say "I miss you".
The host interrupted his thoughts: "Please ask our guest to present the award to the author."
The etiquette lady came over slowly, carrying a tray with a medal on it. It was silver, made of unknown material, with a bright red ribbon.
Chen Qingluo took the medal from the tray, grasped the top of the strap in each hand, looked up at Wang Zixu who was like an iron tower, and was in a dilemma for a while. The etiquette lady next to her wanted to come up to help, but was glared back by her.
She walked up to Wang Zixu and stood on tiptoe. Wang Zixu lowered his head cooperatively. She put her hands on his shoulders and clasped them behind his neck as if she was tying a tie for him.
This was the closest they had been to each other in all these years, and it was also one of the few times they had physical contact. He was craving the warmth of her breath, wanting this moment to last forever, and then he suddenly heard her whisper:
"You've grown taller."
Wang Zixu's body shook.
"But what are you doing so tall? It's so troublesome."
Wang Zixu thought he was hallucinating. He turned his head in shock and saw Chen Qingluo's eyes, which only saw him. When she met his gaze, she immediately rolled her eyes at him.
Chen Qingluo quickly stepped away and returned to his expressionless state, as calm as if everything that had just happened was just an illusion. The only thing left was the medal hanging squarely on Wang Zixu's chest.
"..."
The two of them controlled their small movements very well. Although there were millions of eyes staring at them at the scene, the eye contact between them was not noticed by any third person.
Wang Zixu turned around and saw Ning Chunyan looking at him, and waved his fist at him to express his congratulations. Then he saw Lin Feng, who was staring at him with extremely surprised eyes, as if asking "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Wang Zixu returned a slightly apologetic look, intending to explain to him later.
Of course, the one who looked the most surprised was Diao Yiwen beside him. The girl's face was red, and she seemed to find it hard to accept losing to him. There was something strange and intriguing in her eyes when she looked at Wang Zixu, but Wang Zixu was too lazy to think about it.
Li Tingfang walked to the podium and began to speak. The host walked to Wang Zixu and whispered, "Are you ready to speak?"
Wang Zixu was stunned: "What speech?"
The host said, "The senior leader will speak later. After he finishes speaking, I will have a brief interview with you."
Wang Zixu asked: "What are the main aspects?"
The host smiled and said, "It's mainly about things that everyone wants to know, such as when did you start writing, how many years have you been writing, what do you plan to do with the prize money, etc. I will always control the rhythm of the topic, not to talk about sensitive topics, and not to lead the topic too far."
After saying that, she turned around and looked at Chen Qingluo, who was a typical negative example.
Wang Zixu nodded, appearing very well-behaved.
Shen Jianqiu's speech was not lengthy. The interview the host had mentioned began immediately, and the stage was handed over to him. His seat was placed in the most conspicuous place under the lights, and he could see the foreheads of the local officials in the first row by just lowering his head.
This was the first time Wang Zixu spoke in such a big scene. When he thought about himself standing here in wrinkled clothes, making the whole serious scene so unserious, he wanted to laugh. He saw Zhang Qian in the second row staring at him with a complicated expression. This woman might still be thinking about something terrible, but he didn't care. He suddenly felt very good. He was no longer afraid of anything, no longer hated anyone, and would not curse the world.
The host said, "Hello, Wang Zixu. You won the first prize of the Xihe Literary Association today. Everyone wants to know more about you. When did you start writing?"
Wang Zixu said, "Third grade."
The host asked: "Did you start trying to write so early?"
"The teacher forced me to write an essay. I didn't try it on my own initiative."
There was a burst of laughter from the audience. The host stared at him and asked, "Are you serious?"
Didn’t we just agree not to go too far?
"So when did you take the initiative to start trying to write, to do some serious writing?"
"Twelve years, three months and five days ago."
There was a burst of laughter from the audience.
The host asked, "So precise?"
Wang Zixu said: "Precision is the first requirement of writing."
The host, sweat dripping down his forehead, asked, “What motivates you to write?”
Wang Zixu said, "The royalties."
Another burst of laughter.
The host asked, "Besides the royalties?"
"There may be other reasons, but I can't openly say it, but it's mainly the manuscript fee."
The audience laughed again. The host felt his scalp tingling and said dryly, "At least you sound honest."
“Honesty is one of the most valuable qualities in a writer.”
After Wang Zixu finished speaking, Ning Chunyan covered her mouth and laughed. This sentence was exactly the same as what Chen Qingluo said in the previous interview. The host didn't dare to ask again. If he continued to ask along the same lines, it would be another Chen Qingluo-level live broadcast disaster.
"The judges commented that your writing is as sharp as a knife and as elegant as a painting. What is your secret to improving your writing?"
Prince Xu thought for a moment and said, "Love is broken."
"Trial?"
"Love-lost."
There was a burst of laughter from the audience.
The host asked, "Which heartbreak are you talking about?"
"It's that broken heart," Wang Zixu said, "It's better to be in love and then get dumped."
"Why?" The host was really curious this time.
"Because literature is primarily a work of art for defeated people."
After he finished speaking, the audience stopped laughing.
Wang Zixu also said: "The greatest writers and poets in our country all lived very unsuccessful lives, such as Qu Yuan, Li Bai, Du Fu, Cao Xueqin... Their works have moments of pride and joy when they are bold and unrestrained, but overall they are sad and miserable.
“It is only in misery that people can extract something, and then express it and convey it to others. This kind of emotion condensed by failure is like the wine produced after the fermentation of grain, which will form a strong spiritual force.
“And life is always full of failures. Even those successful people have had many dark moments of failure, even more than ordinary people. The content contained in literature can allow them to repeatedly stir up the emotions they have experienced. This experience is something that only literature can provide.
"Of course I'm not saying that only people who fail will read literature. Everyone here is a literature lover. I wish you all success and the life you want. What I mean is that everyone will experience failure. It's part of life.
"Everyone wants to succeed, but success and failure are two sides of the same coin. It is difficult to separate failure. It may not be a failure like Du Fu's, where his country was destroyed and his family was ruined. But everyone will experience some pain. Literature is the best medicine to treat this part. It allows us to precipitate something from the pain, and these things can support our spirit.
"There are many kinds of books in the world, including reference books, success books, technical books, and teaching materials... But in literature, from fairy tales to poems, from The Little Match Girl to The Romance of the Three Kingdoms, what touches people's hearts is the eternal failure. These are the contents that can shape our souls. Only by understanding them can we know what happiness is."
The host thought for a moment and said, "Then why is it a broken heart..."
"Because in modern society, a broken heart is often the first failure that people suffer," Wang Zixu said. "I dare say that before a broken heart, many people can't understand the articles in the Chinese textbooks."
The host said: "I actually think what you said makes some sense."
“It makes sense.”
……
The interview ended quickly. Wang Zixu returned to the corner and kept secretly glancing at Chen Qingluo, but he always attracted the attention of Ning Chunyan who was beside her. This sunny and lively girl interacted with him very cheerfully, which made Wang Zixu feel embarrassed.
But Chen Qingluo didn't even look at him.
After the award ceremony, the big boss left, and the host asked him and several award-winning contestants to wait in the reception room of the government office, saying that the big boss wanted to meet and talk with them.
Only when they arrived at the reception room did he have the opportunity to talk to Lin Feng about his own affairs, but Diao Yiwen came over to talk to him first.
(End of this chapter)