Chapter 145 I'm Not Here to Give a Speech
Chapter 145 I'm Not Here to Give a Speech
"Sister Xiaochun, I'm leaving now." Lu Qingxuan stood at the door, holding up her skirt. "The symposium has already begun."
"Well, let's go."
Ning Chunyan didn't even raise her head, staring at her phone intently. The little prince hadn't replied to her message for five minutes.
Lu Qingxuan hesitated for a moment and said, "You haven't told me when you will come to work."
Ning Chunyan looked up, and said "Oh" as if he suddenly realized something, and said: "You can come over after school, flexible working hours. Anyway, this will be the case for the next few days... After all, we don't have many manuscripts on hand."
Lu Qingxuan said: "Do you need me to make a call in the school? I can ask students to submit more articles to the magazine."
Ning Chunyan said, "Okay, but I don't want the magazine to be like a campus magazine of Nanjing University, understand? The quality of students' work varies. If you receive a lot of waste manuscripts, you will still have to spend time reviewing them."
Lu Qingxuan nodded: "I will try to use a stern tone to make them have some self-awareness."
Ning Chunyan was sincerely happy about her seriousness, but couldn't bear to criticize her naivety - she used to be a magazine editor and had seen what it was like to have "manuscripts coming in like snowflakes".
Most passionate writers have no self-awareness. Ning Chunyan was tortured physically and mentally when he was an editor. After I quit, I occasionally picked up those "famous works" that I had no interest in before. Once I read them, it was like drinking sweet wine. I couldn't stop. It turned out that these people wrote so well. I was blind before.
Lu Qingxuan heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and saw a familiar face appear in the corridor. It was a girl.
"Is this the New Appreciation magazine?" the girl asked, holding a cell phone in her hand.
Lu Qingxuan recalled: "Diao Yiwen?"
Diao Yiwen took off her sunglasses and said, "I heard they are hiring part-time editors here. What are you doing..."
Lu Qingxuan made way for the door: "Please come in. I'm also here to apply for a part-time job. Editor-in-Chief Ning is inside."
Diao Yiwen walked into the house, and when she saw Ning Chunyan, she raised her hand and waved: "Long time no see, talented Ning."
Ning Chunyan put down his phone and sat up straight: "Long time no see."
Diao Yiwen sat down opposite her: "I want to apply for the position of editor."
“Do you have an editor’s license?”
"Yes, I have a junior editor certificate."
Diao Yiwen handed over the little red book with both hands. Ning Chunyan glanced at the date and asked, "Did you just take the exam?"
"Yes, after all, in the past few months since I quit my job, I have been studying at home and taking the exam for this certificate."
Ning Chunyan raised her eyes and looked at her: "You also resigned? Why, were you inspired by Wang Zixu?"
Diao Yiwen chose her words carefully: "How should I put it? I guess I was a little influenced. He is 30 years old and he has the courage to fight to the death. I think I am so young, I shouldn't be worse than him."
Ning Chunyan's eyes flashed: "Then why do you want to resign?"
Diao Yiwen thought for a while and raised her eyes: "I don't want to become a mediocre person."
"You can become an extraordinary person without quitting your job."
Diao Yiwen shook her head: "No, I was in that unit, and the older people in the unit all coaxed me, and my peers all stuck to me. I felt very comfortable at first, but then I suddenly realized that it was because they were not as good as me. Not as good as me, so I felt comfortable. If I want to grow, I must go to a place that makes me feel uncomfortable.
"It's like a warm swamp that sucks people in. Over time, you'll be assimilated. I didn't notice it before, but when Wang Zixu got mad at the company, I suddenly realized that I had become the same person as the people at work. I don't want this to happen."
Ning Chunyan took a sip of water: "The impression you give me is completely different from before."
“Has it gotten better or worse?”
“I have become self-aware,” Ning Chunyan said. “Only those who have things they want to do are complete people, but it’s hard to say whether it’s getting better or worse, because that thing could also ruin you.”
Diao Yiwen said: "Thank you. I want to be whole, so it's good for me."
Lu Qingxuan originally wanted to attend the lecture, but for some reason her feet became rooted and she couldn't move, so she simply sat aside and listened to the two people's conversation.
Ning Chunyan looked curious: "What happened to your unit leader? What happened to Zhang Qian?"
Diao Yiwen said: "As soon as Wang Zixu left, both of them were investigated. Director Gou was expelled from the party and expelled from the party; Zhang Qian was given some kind of punishment and asked for a long vacation. Later, I heard that she was hysterical and smashed things at work. It seemed that she had some mental problems, so she was transferred to a very marginal unit. After that, I left and didn't know much about it."
Ning Chunyan clapped his hands and laughed, "It's what she deserves! But Zhang Qian feels relieved. She is such a hateful person, yet she can still work in the system. It's not a big deal."
Diao Yiwen said: "For her, the end of her political career means that her entire life has lost its meaning. People also privately said that it was a rare thing for a civil servant to pull two people of such high rank into the water before resigning, and it was a good profit."
Ning Chunyan curled his lips and said, "Great profit? He's just self-destructing. A suicide attack to exchange one for one, can you say it's a profit? Wang Zixu's establishment is also an establishment! It's nothing more than they look down on Wang Zixu, right? Just wait and see, in a few years, they will know that their small pond is only enough to raise turtles, and the ones that fly out are dragons."
Diao Yiwen smiled slightly and asked, "Has Wang Zixu also come to apply for the job?"
Ning Chunyan nodded: "He just left. In fact, I asked him to focus on his work in the next few months and strive for the Feishi Literature Award. Maybe he will come to work less often."
Diao Yiwen was a little surprised: "He is still planning to compete for the Feishi Literature Award? Didn't you tell him? His opponent Shi Shuqiu is Shi Tonghe's son."
Ning Chunyan hesitated and said, "You know that too? I don't plan to tell him, for fear of affecting his mentality."
Lu Qingxuan straightened up. Shi Shuqiu is Shi Tonghe's son? This was the first time she heard this explosive news.
Diao Yiwen said: "If I were him, I would definitely not participate this time and save the work for next time. Do you know that administrative positions are filled with perks? This time is also a perk. Knowing that it is a perk, but still jumping into it, it is just asking for trouble."
Ning Chunyan was in a dilemma. Intellectually, Diao Yiwen was right, but emotionally, she didn't want to do that.
In her opinion, if she had submitted the manuscript knowing Shi Shuqiu's background and still done so, even if she didn't win the first prize in the end, it wouldn't be considered a failure; but if she had avoided Shi Shuqiu's edge and saved the manuscript for later, that would be a real failure.
Should we flee like a coward or die like a fool? Humans can never make a good choice between the two.
……
The symposium progressed to the question-and-answer session.
Wang Zixu is still sleeping.
The girls sitting in the back row had already begun to lose focus. The girl with the wavy hair asked, "What's the situation in the front row now?"
"Don't ask. It's no fun."
The girl with bangs took out her phone and said, "There's a girl from another college sitting in the front row. Let me ask her."
After a while, she looked up and said, "Wang Zixu has been sleeping."
There was a burst of sneers from the girls in the back row. The girl with long eyelashes whispered, "Fortunately, Old Zhang is not here, otherwise he might criticize us for poor conduct and discipline."
Lao Zhang is their class counselor. He is a nagging person and can talk about them for two hours during the weekly class meeting.
The girl with long eyelashes propped her chin up with her hand: "It's boring. Lu Qingxuan didn't come either. I thought Shi Shuqiu was going to perform."
The girl next to her patted her quickly: "Keep your voice down, look, Shi Shuqiu is about to get up."
The host called to the first row, and Shi Shuqiu stood up and said into the microphone: "Teacher Yan Zishan, I want to ask you a question."
Yan Zishan nodded gently. He was familiar with Shi Tonghe, but he had never seen Shi Shuqiu before, so he didn't recognize him.
Shi Shuqiu said: "I am actually a very unconfident person..."
When he said this, many students present laughed.
Yan Zishan looked at the students inexplicably, not understanding what was so funny. Most of the people present were students of the Chinese Department, and they all knew Shi Shuqiu. He said he was not confident, which was like O'Neal saying he was not very good at shooting. This was a funny point that belonged to a small circle.
Shi Shuqiu continued, "I have written many novels. Perhaps because I treasure my own works, I always think that my works are the best. When I show them to my friends, they all say they are good. However, I cannot judge whether they can touch the readers' hearts. I am not sure. I want to ask if you have the same experience or feeling? How can you be sure that you are suitable for writing?"
Wang Zixu was awakened by the sound. He opened his eyes slightly and then closed them again.
Yan Zishan thought for a moment and said:
"You probably mean that you are not confident and you don't know whether what you write is good or not, right?"
Shi Shuqiu nodded, and Yan Zishan continued, "Show it to others. If they say it's good and are fascinated by it, it's not a compliment or a polite remark, but it touches their heart. Then it's good."
Shi Shuqiu said to the microphone: "Teacher Yan Zishan, I didn't make it clear just now. In fact, I still have a little ambition. I want to write something famous in literature and let people remember me. But how do I know that I can write better than others? If the literary authority says that I write well, but the public says that I write poorly, who should I listen to?"
The host said: "This student wants to ask a question about the scale of literary value."
Shi Shuqiu pinched his fingers and said, "It's not just a literary value scale. I want to ask, as a writer, how should I face my own works and values? I have created many works, but I find that I can easily fall into nihilism." The host asked, "This student has written many works?"
Shi Shuqiu nodded: "Yes, I am currently a member of the Chinese Writers Association."
The host looked surprised, and many students present turned their eyes to look at him.
Shi Shuqiu straightened his chest.
Yan Zishan took a serious look at him, but to Shi Shuqiu's regret, he did not ask his name. The main reason was that Yan Zishan saw Wang Zixu next to Shi Shuqiu, and suddenly realized that he was sitting there sleeping.
Yan Zishan was a little depressed: "This is what I think. Different people have different orientations towards literature. Everyone read children's books when they were young, but stopped reading them when they grew up. This does not mean that children's books are bad.
“My opinion is that if your work can touch the heart of one person, then it is the best work for that person. If your work can touch the hearts of 10 people, then it is a treasure for those 10 people.
“If no one thinks highly of what you write, and only you can understand it, then at least that story is your own perfect story. It can satisfy you, and it has value.”
applause.
Wang Zixu seemed to have just woken up from a dream. He looked at the stage in a daze, then looked at Shi Shuqiu beside him, and quickly sat up straight.
Shi Shuqiu then asked: "If that's the case, then aren't all those literary awards meaningless?"
Yan Zishan said: "Literary awards certainly have their own orientation and interests, including magazines. Their mission is more to guide, to guide readers to read works that are worth reading.
"I was a judge for a literary award before. Several judges disagreed and argued for a long time over the first and second place. In order to decide the first and second place, they even held a new review. In fact, I still don't think the second place work is obviously worse than the first place..."
At this point, he looked deeply at Wang Zixu in the audience:
"But in the end I still voted for the first place. Because to be fair, I think the first place should be seen by more people."
The host asked, "Are you talking about the last Feishi?"
Yan Zishan shook his head: "In fact, the first place in that literary competition..."
He was originally going to say that the winner of the competition was sitting in the first row. That guy was a living specimen of an author. If everyone wrote with such vigor as he did, without worrying about their status in the literary world, perhaps their life would be much happier.
But halfway through his words, he glanced at the number one in the audience and found that he was still dazed and hadn't woken up yet. He sighed and shook his head: "Forget it."
Shi Shuqiu was standing next to Wang Zixu. When Yan Zishan glared at him, he thought he was being stared at and felt a little confused.
The host signaled to exchange the ball, and the microphone was passed to someone else. Shi Shuqiu sat down with a feeling of depression, and scared Wang Zixu next to him awake.
Wang Zixu asked: "Is it over?"
Shi Shuqiu said in a cold tone: "No."
Wang Zixu rubbed his nose, tilted his head, and closed his eyes again.
Another student stood up and said:
"Teacher Yan Zishan, the question that Shi Shuqiu asked just now is what I want to ask as well, which is that I have no confidence, especially after my manuscripts were rejected many times. My confidence was destroyed and I even forgot how to write. I want to ask, have you ever had your manuscript rejected? What did you do after your manuscript was rejected?"
Yan Zishan said: "Of course my manuscripts have been rejected, too many times. I come from a grassroots background, without any background. My parents don't even read books, let alone writers or editors. Their understanding of literature is that literacy is enough. If I didn't bring the royalties home to give to them, they would always think that I was not doing my job properly.
"When I first submitted my manuscripts, they were rejected all the time. I was very upset at first because I felt that my writing was as good as those in those magazines. Why did they publish theirs but not mine? I even doubted whether there was something wrong with my vision.
"Later I figured it out. It's not that I have a problem. It's not that I have a problem. If I write as well as they do, why should my work be published and not theirs? I have to write better than them to have a chance of being published.
"Everyone is not confident, unless you have connections. If you don't, then you must have a kind of straightforwardness - no matter whether your writing is good or not, whether you get rewarded or not, just keep writing, like Balzac. Keep writing and keep submitting, until you write better than others."
Another round of applause.
Wang Zixu turned around and asked Shi Shuqiu: "How long will it take to end?"
Shi Shuqiu gritted his teeth: "How should I know?"
Wang Zixu rubbed his face and stared at the floor with a zombie-like expression. The chair was no good, it was too uncomfortable to sleep on.
When the host announced the end, many students were still reluctant to leave, except Wang Zixu, who seemed to be pardoned.
Shi Shuqiu stood up suddenly and rushed to the podium. Soon Yanzishan was surrounded by enthusiastic students. Although the question-and-answer session was over, they still had questions.
The girl with long eyelashes turned around and said, "Let's go and listen too."
Girl with bangs: "Let's go."
The auditorium is a fan-shaped structure with the podium in the center. Yan Zishan was standing on the stage, surrounded by a crowd of people.
Wang Zixu was holding a notebook, standing outside the circle and looking around.
"Hi."
The wavy-haired girl patted him on the back. Wang Zixu turned around and recognized her.
The girl said jokingly, "Were you sleeping while Teacher Yan Zishan was giving the lecture just now?"
Wang Zixu was embarrassed: "Has it been seen by many people?"
The girl said: "Why don't you listen? Don't you understand?"
The prince was speechless, then nodded calmly: "Yes, I don't quite understand."
The girl said: "Do you know who was the person sitting next to you just now?"
Before Wang Zixu could ask, the staff came out to maintain order: "Students, Teacher Yan Zishan has other schedules and cannot stay any longer. Please evacuate and let the teacher leave!"
When the students heard this, they shouted even louder. Wang Zixu was asked by Lin Feng to get an autograph, and they couldn't let him get away, so they squeezed in like a loach.
"Teacher Yan Zishan, please give me an autograph!"
Yan Zishan had almost picked up his bag, but when he turned around and saw Wang Zixu, he paused and turned around.
The staff member next to him reminded: "Teacher Yan Zishan, they are already waiting over there."
Yan Zishan said: "It's okay, I'll just sign an autograph for him."
After that, he looked up at Wang Zixu and said, "You also want my autograph?"
Shi Shuqiu was startled and turned to look at Wang Zixu. Judging from his tone, Yan Zishan knew this dozing guy?
Wang Zixu knew that Yan Zishan had misunderstood, and said, "Then I want two autographs."
Yan Zishan snorted coldly, took out his pen, and said, "You really came to the East China Sea?"
Wang Zixu said: "Yes, I am here."
Yan Zishan wrote a long message to Wang Zixu and signed his name at the end. Before Wang Zixu had time to read what he wrote, he kept saying:
"I have a friend who also asked me to ask you for an autograph. He is the third place winner of the Xihe Literary Competition. His name is Lin Feng. He wants to ask you for an autograph."
Yan Zishan nodded and signed a few words casually.
A student nearby immediately shouted: "Teacher, please sign for me too!"
The rest of the crowd immediately agreed.
Yan Zishan picked up the pen, gently put the cap on the tip of the pen, and put the pen into his chest pocket, indicating that he would stop there.
"Teacher Yan Zishan!"
Yan Zishan was not as friendly as he had been when he spoke just now. When he got off the stage, he exuded a cold aura and turned around and squeezed through the crowd.
Wang Zixu was about to put the notebook away when he was suddenly slapped by the three girls behind him: "What did Teacher Yan Zishan sign for you?"
He opened his notebook, showed it to them for a few seconds, then put it away and hurried out of the auditorium.
Shi Shuqiu asked: "What did you write?"
The girls looked at each other in silence for a moment, with shock in their eyes, and did not answer him.
Yan Zishan’s signature reads: As long as you believe in yourself, you will clear all obstacles in front of you.
(End of this chapter)