Chapter 194: Hogwarts without Della - Miss White of the Shrieking Shack (2)
"I was abandoned for a reason," the doll said, the blurred face moved, and the white hair that Sirius had groomed began to shrink, "Della Riddle wanted to see some people, but after seeing them, she found that she couldn't bear it."
When the puppet said the second half of the sentence, its voice had turned into the energetic and casual voice that James had when he was at Hogwarts. Sirius looked at the puppet with messy black hair and the vague outline of James on the recliner, and his eyes widened.
"Jan..." He couldn't help but want to call his best brother's name. He just uttered a syllable and stopped abruptly. Then he turned his head to the side. "Now I can sympathize with Della Riddle. No one can stand this, Miss White."
"Don't you want to see him?" The puppet asked Sirius in James' voice first. The face moved again, the hair became longer and redder, and it turned into the outline of Lily. It asked him in Lily's lively and gentle voice again, "I don't understand. I can feel that you want to see them."
Sirius glanced at the puppet and immediately turned his head away. The sour feeling blocked his throat and made his voice hoarse again. "I want to see them, but it's impossible to see them anymore."
"Change back, Miss White," Sirius tilted his head, his voice trembling, even with a hint of pleading in it, he forced himself to make a joke, "Miss Reed doesn't sound very nice, and I can only be Mr. Black."
"Forgive me, Sirius, I am really curious," the puppet changed back and used the same voice as before, "This is the meaning of my birth, but I seem to find it difficult to practice my meaning."
"I said it at the beginning," Sirius breathed out, and seemed to prepare himself mentally before looking at the puppet again, "No one is born like this."
"Well," said the puppet, its voice devoid of emotion. It simply answered Sirius Black's questions as usual, its mind completely occupied with other things.
From Sirius' attitude, it probably knew why he didn't have a strong desire to meet those people.
James Potter and Lily Potter were irreplaceable in his heart, so he missed them but was not obsessed with meeting them.
This is very troublesome. Although it is only a transitional personality, it also needs to be considered for the future. It has always rejected a type of person who will die again after living.
It is not okay to want to die, and it is not okay to be killed immediately by others.
If it is irreplaceable, and if it insists on having its own way, even if its personality is closer and more perfect after it is alive, it will most likely be killed by Sirius.
This actually has a precedent. If you think about it carefully, the reason why it was abandoned is because of its "alternativeness".
Della Riddle wanted to be replaced, but she couldn't accept being replaced.
And Maggie, the puppet actually reads in him strong emotions directed at two people, except that another person, Della Riddle, is present, so it becomes Ximena.
Maggie has a strong sense of pleasure in Della Riddle, a sense of pleasure in shaping, so it can read what Maggie does. If you think with this logic, it has become Della Riddle, touching both the irreplaceability in Della Riddle's heart and the irreplaceability in Maggie's heart.
The puppet learned the lesson that touching irreplaceability would result in a death sentence, but Sirius told it that people who are invested with strong emotions are often irreplaceable.
This seems like a dead end.
"I am somewhat grateful to Della Riddle now, Miss White," Sirius looked at the puppet who was always patient and gentle to him, "If you were not here, I would have to bark at the window alone."
"If it weren't for you, I would have been burned by the moonlight. You are the one who should be thanked." The puppet said, realizing another troublesome problem.
After defining it as Miss White, Sirius Black began to have feelings for the concept of Miss White.
The original intention of its emotional connection is not here, and it seems to make it further away from the ultimate goal of "living".
"I don't have gray hair," the puppet said, trying to change Sirius's perception, "Once I'm better, it will turn back to blonde, and my face may even grow back."
"You can control your facial features and hair, right?" Sirius blinked, "Then keep the white hair the moon gave you. Well, will silver hair make Miss White feel better?"
It was not a question of whether it was easy to accept or not. The puppet accepted all appearances. It knew that Sirius did not understand the subtext of "it is not Miss White" and was about to refute again when Sirius continued.
"When your face grows back, we can see what kind of facial features look good together. Ah, I'd actually like to see it," Sirius' tone softened, with an inappropriate smile in his voice, "What would a girl with James or Lupin's facial features look like?"
"James?" Sirius asked in a questioning tone, probably because he was puzzled by his own thoughts. "But I really can't imagine him as a girl. If I really want to do it, I must change that messy hair. Ah, it would be best to change his eyes too. I have never seen that kind of look in a girl's eyes."
"Lupin might be a good fit. He's always been quiet, but he has too many small wounds on his face. He also looks tired and mature, like a civil servant in the Ministry of Magic." Although he felt strange, Sirius couldn't stop thinking about it. "But if he were to marry a woman, she would be the gentle female professor I always wanted to see when I was in school."
"You don't know," Sirius casually fell on the bed and turned to look at the doll, "I never met a female professor who treated me well when I was in school. Professor McGonagall always scolded me, and Professor Grubbly-Plank always glared at me while smoking her pipe after I scared away a unicorn. I always felt that she wanted to spit smoke rings into my face."
"But you can't blame me. The unicorn's horn is so long. I just wanted to cut off a small point to see." Sirius said with a look of grievance, but his voice was full of joy. "And Professor Sprout, she kept staring at me in class after she found out that I secretly kept the pus squeezed from the mandrake to play pranks."
"Oh, you can't say me, it was still us at that time." The happiness in Sirius' voice disappeared, and nostalgia and entanglement slowly welled up in his black eyes as he looked at the doll. In the end, he did not ask to see the past outlines of his friends again. His voice became hoarse again, "So it's good to have Miss White here. There is still someone to listen to my dog barking."
"I feel like I'm going to have a good dream tonight," he said, closing his eyes. "Good night, Miss White."
But, Sirius Black, Miss White is not good enough, she just wants to keep you here, otherwise she would have told you about Della Riddle's old wand hidden under the floorboards.
"Good night, Sirius." The doll called Miss White responded to him, assessing the possibility that Sirius, who was unarmed and easily excited, would not return after carrying out his plan.
This possibility is not small, but it cannot rush into a dead end, it has to take it slow.
People are so complicated. It now understands the difference between "birth" and "why birth" in Maggie's words.