Chapter 220 Balance
The mercenary, who was only 36 years old but looked like he was over 50, took the document handed over by the disciplinary officer with a bitter face.
He read the document over and over again, confirming that there was no exaggeration in it, but he still refused to sign or put his fingerprint on it.
The disciplinary officer on duty saw that he was deliberately delaying as long as possible, and immediately urged him impatiently to sign quickly.
"Whether you purchased the contraband from prisoners who privately printed or smuggled paper books, or whether you obtained these books by some unknown means, you are not the mastermind.
If you spent a lot of money on it, then you are also a victim to some extent, sign it quickly! As long as you confess everything you know, the Grand Disciplinary Officer and the Great Sage will not embarrass you!"
The discipline officer said in a bad tone.
"real?!"
The 36-year-old mercenary's eyes were rekindled with hope. He thought he would be locked up for a long time, and his children waiting for him to come home in the desert would lose their source of food.
During the journey, he repeatedly imagined in his mind the horrific scene of his three children eating up all the food in the house and gnawing on the stems of all the edible plants around them, but still turning into starving corpses, and the scene of him kneeling beside the children's corpses, slapping himself and shouting, "I am not a human being!"
He deeply regretted not finding another woman with a similar experience after his wife's death. He originally thought that those young and capable female mercenaries would look down on him as a widower with three children, and he didn't have the face to deceive a girl in her twenties.
Most widows who were eager to find someone to marry could not participate in the hunting activities organized by the tribe, nor could they farm. They could only earn a meager income by doing some simple weaving skills. At least they had two cubs, otherwise no one would care about them.
Marrying a widow with several children is like marrying several burdens. Although it seems that someone can help him take care of several children during his temporary stay in the rainforest, a woman with children will not be completely devoted to her own children? What's the point of having her? Will she add a few more mouths to feed?
Before today, he had never considered the possibility of being imprisoned by the Order. He thought that he would die in a mission, and then his trusted companions would hand over some of the money they had saved and the pension from their employer to his children.
He calculated carefully that if he spent the money frugally, the three cubs would definitely live to adulthood.
But he never thought that he would be arrested by the Ministry of Education!
In this shabby place, even if he hit his head and died, he wouldn't get a penny. The little savings he had saved were only enough to feed his children for a year and a half.
——No, it should only be enough for one year and two months, because he gritted his teeth and took out part of it to buy three sets of books!
It was all the books' fault! Why did I buy those books at that time? The merchant was obviously talking nonsense. If she really wanted to sympathize with us and improve our situation, why did she sell the books so expensively? Why didn't she give us some rice and flour?
I was very rational at first and didn't believe her nonsense like "you can live in the rainforest by learning" and "you can become a sage by learning".
But later everyone said it was a good idea to buy the book. Even if she didn't have the ability to pass the entrance exam to the Church of God through self-study, it would not be a loss to go back to the desert and set an example for the children. It would also be a good way to enlighten them. Moreover, according to the price of Rainforest paper books on the black market, Master Dolly was selling them very cheaply.
...
I wanted to teach my kids and give them more choices if possible, so I bought a whole set of textbooks when the second batch came out and started to study on my own. I wasn't even tempted when I could trade in old books for new ones.
But if I can't go back because of a few books, then isn't it a joke to say "for the next generation" or "for the future of the desert people"?
Or should we just do as the leader says and confess everything?
Mr. Dolly is such a capable person, he wouldn't fall into danger just because of my confession, right?
Even if the great sage became furious and ordered the arrest of her and her accomplices, preventing her from appearing publicly in Xumi, she had so much money that even if she could not stay in Xumi, she could still make a living in any other country.
She is not like me. She has many choices and countless escape routes, but I only have leverage behind me.
The 36-year-old mercenary was torn between his conscience and his own desires. He felt that he could not betray Dolly, who had helped his clan.
The master Dolly gave them not only textbooks, but also a tavern as a place to stay. She was one of the few people in the rain forest who treated the desert people as human beings.
But he couldn't help but vent his anger on Dolly because of what happened today. If she hadn't made those textbooks, how could his peaceful life be disrupted, and how could the people from the Ministry of Education come to his door?
Why do you care about us? Why don't you just let us be illiterate and poor? Even if we don't live well, at least we can still live! Isn't it good to live? Why do you have to go against the House of Witnesses?
The more he thought about it, the more he felt that he was right. The more he thought about it, the more regretful and sad he felt. When he thought about his own children at home, the sadness in his heart reached its peak. He felt that he was so stupid. Why did he spend the money on books?
If you have that spare money, you can buy rice, bacon, dried fruits... why not buy something else? Why do you have to buy books?
And Dolly, she was also wrong. How could I have thought of buying books if she didn't sell them?
The author of the book also has problems. Dolly said he was a sage candidate. Why didn't the sage candidate just run for the sage position? Can writing a book help you get votes? Why do you risk being investigated and prosecuted for doing such a thing?
The mercenary blamed the heavens, the earth, and himself, and listed all the causes and consequences he could think of, but after thinking it over, he still felt that he could not sign this signature or put that fingerprint.
If I sign, put my fingerprints on it, and confess everything, they will let me go? Humph, can you trust what the people in the rainforest say?
If I tell them everything I know, they will think I'm useless and that they can do anything with me. But I can't tell them now.
After thinking through the pros and cons, he suddenly let go of the heavy psychological burden.
He felt that he was really strange. He knew that Dolly was the "culprit" who caused him to fall into this situation, but when he thought that he had to betray Dolly in exchange for a lighter sentence from the Ministry of Justice, he felt guilty and aggrieved.
But he refused to give in, and he felt guilty towards his wife who had passed away young, his children, and himself who had struggled to survive from beginning to end.
After convincing himself that he couldn't tell anyone and had to use the information he knew to bargain with them, he finally found a balance between the two.