Chapter 222: Top 8 Draw
Chapter 222: Top Eight Draw
With Atletico Madrid successfully entering the Champions League quarterfinals.
The other eight teams have also been announced one after another.
Soon, something happened that surprised Song Wen.
That is, Real Madrid lost to Paris Saint-Germain of Ligue 1 in the round of 16 and eventually stopped in the round of 16, while Paris Saint-Germain advanced to the quarterfinals of this Champions League.
The reason why Song Wen was surprised was that in his memory, Real Madrid should have defeated Paris.
You know, in the original historical trajectory, Real Madrid was the Champions League champion in the 17/18 season!
Under the leadership of Emperor Xuanzong of Qi, they won the Champions League treble.
And precisely because of this, Cristiano Ronaldo, who believed that he had made the greatest contribution, completely parted ways with Real Madrid and joined Juventus after the old man again rejected his request for a salary increase.
But now, Real Madrid, which should have been the Champions League champion, fell directly on the road to the round of 16.
However, after Song Wen thought about it, he felt that although it was beyond his expectations, it was also reasonable.
It is said that a butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil may cause a tornado in Texas, USA.
But Song Wen is more than just a butterfly.
For the football world, he is like a comet hitting the earth!
It is normal for Real Madrid to lose to Paris in the round of 16.
First of all, after Paris Saint-Germain introduced Neymar this year, its own strength has been greatly strengthened.
Not to mention dominating Ligue 1.
Even on a global scale, they are still a top team.
And what about Real Madrid?
Two days before the first round match with Paris, they sent out their full main lineup to deal with Song Wen's strong challenge.
As a result, in that game, Real Madrid lost both the wife and the troops.
Not only did they fail to win the battle for dignity, but they also bought two bombs.
The main defender Ramos was kicked off the field by Song Wen during the game, which resulted in him failing to recover his physical condition even in the second round of the match and he missed the game.
The other players of Real Madrid also seemed to have lost their spirit in that game.
Especially Cristiano Ronaldo, who scored 0 goals and had 0 assists in the two games against Paris Saint-Germain, and was completely invisible.
In the end, Real Madrid lost to Paris Saint-Germain with a score difference of 1:3 in two rounds.
As Real Madrid was eliminated, Real Madrid fans went completely crazy.
They cursed Zidane, Ramos and Ronaldo.
Of course, they also cursed Song Wen, the culprit of all they thought.
Feeling the enthusiastic greetings from Real Madrid fans, Song Wen was moved to tears.
After all, he hadn't suffered such exciting cyber violence for a long time.
And with Paris reaching the quarterfinals of the Champions League, the Italian Serie A has become a complete joke.
Because the eight club teams in the quarterfinals are Manchester City, Liverpool, Paris, Bayern, Roma, Barcelona, Atletico Madrid and Sevilla.
This also completely tore the fig leaf of Italian football.
Serie A, once known as the "Little World Cup", has only one team left in this Champions League.
And the fact that Roma was able to make it to the quarterfinals means the sperm content is not really high.
Their opponent in the round of 2 was Shakhtar Donetsk. The scores of the two rounds were 1:0 and 1: respectively. In the end, they successfully advanced with the advantage of away goals.
On social media, fans photoshopped the Serie A team logo into a tombstone, captioning: "Rest in peace, 1989-2008."
You have to know that in the 90s, the seven sisters of Serie A once dominated Europe, and even the relegation team could spend a lot of money to buy the World Footballer of the Year.
Now? Juventus was taught a lesson by Atletico Madrid, Inter Milan was eliminated at the bottom of the group stage, and AC Milan couldn't even reach the threshold of the Champions League.
Netizens joked: "Now they can't even get together the 'Seven Dwarfs', there are only seven nursing home caregivers left."
Italian media racked their brains to make up for it: "We focus on cultivating local young talents!" Turning around, Inter Milan captain Lautaro was bid up to 1 million by the Premier League, and Milan goalkeeper Maignan was coveted by Paris. The famous Totti smiled bitterly on the show: "Maybe we should thank UEFA - fortunately the Champions League has expanded to 36 teams, and next year we can rely on 'historical points' to get a wild card?"
Fans also said that Song Wen eliminated Juventus, which not only defeated Juventus, but also penetrated the entire Serie A.
Now, in addition to sweeping the big six in the Premier League and stepping on the two giants of La Liga, his resume should also include playing in the Italian Serie A.
Serie A fans have made appeals online and even launched a fundraising campaign.
Who can save Serie A in today's football world?
Only Song Wen!
Apart from the surprise of Serie A, the Spanish La Liga is undoubtedly the biggest winner in this year's Champions League.
Among the eight teams, three are from La Liga.
If Real Madrid had not suffered a huge blow from Song Wen, it is very likely that four of the eight teams would be from La Liga.
In addition to La Liga, Manchester City and Liverpool, where Song Wen once played in the Premier League, also occupied two seats.
Fans have said that the Premier League and La Liga are where they are today thanks to Song Wen's torture.
Look at Ligue 1, Serie A and Bundesliga, they can only fight alone pitifully.
With the emergence of the top eight teams, the draw ceremony will soon take place.
This naturally became the focus of discussion among fans.
The biggest focus, of course, is which unlucky guy will meet Atletico Madrid in the quarterfinals.
Among these seven teams, Barcelona, Sevilla, Manchester City and Liverpool have all played against Song Wen and lost to him.
The remaining three teams, namely Bundesliga Bayern, Ligue 1 powerhouse Paris Saint-Germain, and Serie A powerhouse Roma, have never played against Song Wen's team.
But for any team, I'm afraid they don't want to meet Atletico Madrid in the quarter-finals.
According to a report from Daily Sports, Barcelona executives contacted UEFA overnight, stressing that "La Liga teams should avoid civil wars" and even played an emotional card by digging up the old story of Barcelona giving way to Real Madrid in the Champions League in 2015.
Even more outrageous is that Pique was photographed liking the Atletico jersey design on Instagram, with the caption "Red and blue stripes and red and white stripes are the perfect match", which was interpreted by fans as "Please let Atletico draw Barcelona, so that Song Wen can beat his own people. It's better than being eliminated by the Premier League." Bild revealed that Bayern urgently hired a professor from the Department of Mathematics at the University of Munich to develop a "probability hedging model". By analyzing Song Wen's shooting angle preferences in his career, it was concluded that "drawing Atletico will cause Lewandowski's goal number to drop by 37.2%."
What's even more absurd is that the club actually invited a famous witch from Bavaria to hold an "exorcism ceremony" at the Allianz Arena - a scarecrow with Song Wen's photo printed on it was buried under the south stand. As a result, the construction team accidentally triggered the fire protection system, causing an artificial rainfall farce.
The Qatari royal family was revealed to have donated 200 million euros to UEFA's "Youth Football Development Fund" on the condition of "ensuring that Paris draws Roma."
What’s even more exciting is that the official flagship store of Paris Saint-Germain suddenly put on the shelves the “Song Wen x Neymar co-branded sneakers”. CEO Nasser said affectionately at the press conference: “We share the same football philosophy with Atletico Madrid - using money to break the old order.”
People familiar with the matter revealed that this is actually a code word that means "if we meet in the draw, start negotiations for Song Wen's free transfer in 2023."
According to Corriere dello Sport, the club airlifted three "lucky black goats" from Sicily and kept them at the training base, feeding them special mint every day - this was the mythical beast designated by the wizard when Roma won the Serie A championship in 2001.
The Manchester Evening News revealed that Guardiola's team used a NASA-level satellite system to analyze Atletico Madrid's game videos and found that Song Wen would subconsciously glance 45 degrees to the upper left before each touch of the ball.
The club immediately developed a "laser interference device" and applied for a patent, but it was rejected by UEFA as "unsportsmanlike".
Some Blue Moon fans even raised funds to buy the right to control the weather in Manchester - as long as they draw Atletico Madrid, they will create continuous heavy rain to make Song Wen slip. After all, data from the UK Meteorological Office shows that Song Wen's average number of goals per game drops by 0.3 on rainy days.
The Manchester United extreme fan organization "Spirit of Shankly" launched the #RememberIstabul2005# topic on Twitter, emphasizing that "The Istanbul Miracle proves that we can reverse any strong opponent - except Atletico Madrid."
Club legend Gerrard was photographed visiting UEFA headquarters with the 2005 Champions League trophy, under the guise of a "traveling exhibition of cultural relics", but in fact it was using scar literature to hint: "Please don't let Atletico Madrid create another tragedy."
Even the Egyptian Tourism Bureau got involved, issuing a statement saying that "Salah needs to conserve his energy to take tourists to visit the pyramids."
Sevilla, the "King of the Europa League", was exposed to have hired 12 gypsy astrologers to set up an "anti-Atletico Madrid magic circle" with tarot cards at the Pizjuan Stadium.
What's even more outrageous is that they submitted a "Proposal on Limiting Players' Sprints to More than 50 Times in a Single Game" to UEFA. Anyone with a discerning eye knows that this is a target on Song Wen's average 12 kilometers of running per game.
According to internal sources, they even secretly trained 15 "human cameras" - specifically to hold up their mobile phones and take close-up photos of Song Wen while he was running, trying to use the EU Privacy Protection Act to force him to slow down.
Although officials insisted that "the draw was absolutely fair", L'Equipe reporters photographed UEFA officials testing the temperature of the draw balls at the Nyon headquarters - the thermally-sensing Atletico Madrid balls were refrigerated to minus 18 degrees Celsius because "table tennis balls are more difficult to be sucked out in low temperature environments."
On the eve of the draw, Chairman Ceferin's speech was leaked, in which he wrote: "We promise that we will never let the Premier League monopolize the top four... unless they draw Atletico Madrid."
As all kinds of outrageous rumors were spreading like wildfire, the draw ceremony for the Champions League quarter-finals began.
In the lobby of UEFA headquarters, eight draw balls slowly rotate in a constant temperature glass box.
According to L'Equipe, technicians froze Atletico Madrid's balls to -18°C overnight, while Paris' balls were soaked in rose essential oil supplied by the Qatari royal family - it is rumored that this can increase the "lucky magnetism" by 32.7%.
When the draw guest Kaka walked towards the stage with a smile, the Bayern representative suddenly took out a Geiger counter and detected an abnormal surge in radiation levels around the Atletico ball, causing an uproar at the scene.
"The Premier League champions have drawn the La Liga powerhouse - Sevilla!"
Kaka's pause almost made Guardiola faint.
After all, Atletico Madrid is also known as a strong team in La Liga.
But when Kaka read out the result, Guardiola breathed a sigh of relief in his Manchester mansion, and jumped up excitedly, and quickly sent a group text message: "Thank you Sevilla friends for the Europa League experience coupons!"
Among the eight teams in the quarterfinals, the overall strength of Sevilla and Roma can be said to be the weakest.
This is undoubtedly a very good lottery.
Sevilla president Castro performed a traditional Andalusian trick on the spot - crushing a copy of the "Anti-Atletico Madrid Initiative" with flamenco steps, shouting: "We specialize in attacking the elite!"
Although he had just complained to UEFA three days ago that "the Premier League teams' breathing was too loud and affected the passing of the ball.
The moment Gerrard saw the result, he smashed the 2005 Champions League trophy towards the live broadcast screen.
Klopp roared in the locker room: "What about the protection of the historical miracle?!" And Roma general manager Pinto ran to the training ground and fed the three black goats double mint.
When Kaka unfolded the note, Bayern's mathematics professor fainted on the spot - his "probability hedging model" showed that the probability of drawing Barcelona was only 0.8%.
However, they finally drew Barcelona.
In the past, facing Barcelona in the quarterfinals would definitely not be a good draw.
But now, it’s not bad. After all, at least we didn’t meet Atletico Madrid.
Neuer was photographed frantically refreshing the booking page of the "Munich Witch Exorcism Service", while Lewandowski practiced his left-foot volley overnight, because Barcelona defender Pique once posted a picture on Instagram: "My defensive area = Song Wen's running distance per game ÷ 3.14". Barcelona president Laporta opened champagne in the box to celebrate: "I would rather be abused by Lewandowski than let Song Wen tear down the Nou Camp!"
As the first two teams were assigned, the remaining three teams began to tremble.
When the last two groups of names floated on the big screen, the air suddenly froze.
"Liverpool vs. - Roma!"
“Atletico Madrid vs.…Paris Saint-Germain!”
Seeing the final result, facing Song Wen, Uncle Zha, who had experienced what despair was like, burst into tears.
Only Paris Saint-Germain was left standing in the wind.
When the fans saw that Paris was going to play against Atletico Madrid, they immediately started a heated discussion.
[If you don't understand, what is the odds between Paris and Atletico Madrid? ]
[Fuck, is Song Wen going to liquidate MSN?]
[Even though Neymar went to Paris, he still couldn't escape Song Wen's clutches? 】
[Come on, Maer! We need to avenge Messi! ! ]
[Paris Saint-Germain is quite strong now, so they may not necessarily lose. ]
[In addition to Neymar, don’t forget that Paris Saint-Germain also has Mbappe. 】
[It's a pity for Mbappe, he was born at the wrong time. If it weren't for Song Wen, I think Mbappe would be the top player of the younger generation. ]
[It's so funny. Ma went to Paris to be the boss, but then Paris produced Mbappé. It feels like within three years, the locker room will be in turmoil again.]
[Please stop criticizing me, Ma and Mbappe have a very good relationship. 】
[I heard that Mbappe’s idol is Cristiano Ronaldo? ]
[How come I heard that Mbappe’s idol is Song Wen? 】
Amidst the heated discussions among the fans, the draw ceremony was concluded.
At this moment, it seems that all eyes and pressure are on Paris Saint-Germain.
(End of this chapter)