Chapter 237: Slow in the past

Chapter 237: Slow in the past

Chapter 237: Slow in the past

When Wang Zixu met An Younan for the first time, she held his hands and shook them back and forth. Although she had the refreshing aftertaste of Oulong citrus cologne, the close social distance still made him, a person like her, feel very uncomfortable.

That night he lay in bed ruminating, and felt that this "talented girl" was not only good at dancing, eccentric and cunning, but also gave him an inexplicable sense of intimacy. This made him suspect that he was a pervert, and he started to lose his mind when the girl touched his hand.

In a daze, half asleep and half awake, he suddenly thought of the source of this sense of familiarity: Ah, it turns out her last name is An, the same as my mother's.

Wang Zixu's mother's surname is An, which is a very rare surname. Wang Zixu's father's surname is Wang, which is a very common surname. When Wang Zixu was young, he was just like his surname, an ordinary boy who could be found everywhere.

So like other infatuated men and women of his age, he had also vaguely fantasized: If my last name was not Wang? But An, would my life be different? Would it be less ordinary?

The answer is obvious. Of course there will be differences. If his last name is An, then he is not Wang Zixu, but An Zixu. This name sounds like the second male lead in a fairy tale novel, who is the master of the heroine and later has an unethical love affair with the heroine.

This idea gradually disappeared as he grew up. Wang Zixu was Wang Zixu, with a very ordinary surname, and was one of the ordinary people, which was a pity.

In short, after he learned An Younan's name, he did not immediately react and said, "This is my mother's surname," which made him feel very guilty later.

From this we can see that the character of the mother as an individual has faded from Wang Zixu's life for a long time, so long that he needs time to react before he is touched by his mother's surname.

We all know that when Wang Zixu was 8 years old, his mother left home and never came back.

But this does not mean that Wang Zixu never saw his mother again after he was 8 years old. In fact, he saw her once when he was 14 years old.

He was in junior high school at the time. During the second class in the afternoon, the head teacher appeared at the classroom door and called him out, so he met Ms. An in the corridor.

Ms. An opened her arms, smiled brightly, hugged him tightly, then took him to McDonald's and ordered a large table of fried chicken and hamburgers.

During the meal, Ms. An talked to him a lot, chattering non-stop, but he completely forgot what they talked about. His mind was completely focused on dealing with the fried chicken.

There was only one sentence that left a deep impression on him: Ms. An promised him that once she had established herself, she would take Wang Zixu to the East China Sea to live with her.

Wang Zixu himself forgot how he responded. The original chicken was really hard to deal with. It was very likely that he didn't respond at all.

But even if Ms. An really wanted to take him away, he probably wouldn't agree. Ms. An left Lao Wang behind, and if he also left Lao Wang behind, it would be too unfair to Lao Wang.

The next day when he arrived at school, a group of classmates surrounded him and asked him if the beautiful white-collar woman wearing designer clothes who came to pick him up yesterday was his mother.

It turned out that after Ms. An left yesterday, her appearance and demeanor left a deep impression on the students. How could she look like a middle-aged woman who had given birth to a child? She was simply a gorgeous female star.

The students discussed her hairstyle, her clothes, her appearance and her figure. No matter what, they could not associate her image with the rustic guy Wang Zixu.

Some fashion gurus among the students even discovered that the combined price of Ms. An’s clothes and jewelry might be more expensive than the outfits of all her classmates combined, and given her temperament and confidence, there was no way they could be pirated.

Everyone was amazed at Wang Zixu's mother, and they also looked up to Wang Zixu. Everyone showed undisguised envy towards him, and many people who usually ignored him also came to talk to him.

In short, Ms. An's visit unexpectedly made Wang Zixu a celebrity in his grade. For the first time, Wang Zixu realized how good it was to have a mother.

Later, Ms. An chatted with Wang Zixu online several times. Wang Zixu did not have his own mobile phone, so he could only reply to messages in the computer class. The conversation dragged on for a long time, making online chatting feel slower than before.

Later, the frequency of their chats gradually decreased, and Ms. An no longer mentioned her plan to take Wang Zixu away from Xihe, and the matter was left unresolved. Later, they stopped contacting each other completely.

It was now when Wang Zixu saw Ms. An again.

The moment he saw her, in an instant, all the scattered fragments of life were connected in his mind.

An Younan looked around like a nervous golden hamster, pretending to be calm, but the expression on her face revealed her inner panic.

"Heh." She laughed dryly and said to Wang Zixu, "You're so nervous that you even called me by the wrong name..."

"Wang Zixu." Ms. An's words made An Younan fall into silence, "Come with me."

Her expression was serious, even a little unhappy.

An Younan said: "Mom, he is..."

"Don't talk yet." She stopped An Younan in a stern tone, "I have something to talk to him about. Just stay in the living room and don't walk around casually."

"But he..."

"obedient!"

An Younan pursed her lips, looking aggrieved like a baby. Wang Zixu had never seen her look so weak, pitiful and helpless.

"follow me."

Wang Zixu followed his mother up to the second floor. She pushed open a door and waved at him, "Come in." So Wang Zixu went in.

This seemed to be her room. She casually moved a chair from the dressing table, pointed at it and said, "Sit down." Wang Zixu then sat down.

Ms. An sat opposite him.

She is old.

Her facial skin was fair and tender, and her hair was still thick and black. At first glance, she looked like a woman in her twenties or thirties.

But if you observe her for a while, you will find that due to the frequent use of hyaluronic acid to stabilize her face, her apple cheeks are a little stiff, and her eyes reveal a fatigue that only the elderly have.

Wang Zixu wanted to cry at this moment, but not a single tear came out.

Her appearance had not changed much from what Wang Zixu remembered, but her temperament had changed a lot.

In his memory, she wore a frayed apron and could magically pull out many dishes from the kitchen;

She would sit by the bed and fold the clothes that passed through her hands as if they had been ironed;

She would wait at the school gate on time, and when she saw Wang Zixu come out, she would raise her hand high, and then the two of them would walk hand in hand along the street bathed in the setting sun.

But the temperament of the woman before him was completely different, and she was totally different from the impression he had in his childhood. It was as if the years had slipped away like a funnel, and there was no trace left by those years.

"What are you doing lately?" asked Ms. An.

"I was invited by your daughter to work on the book." Wang Zixu answered honestly. He completely forgot what An Younan had told him.

Ms. An said: "I'm not asking you that. I'm asking, what kind of job do you do?"

“I quit my job. I’m writing full-time now.”

Ms. An said, "Didn't you pass the civil service exam in Xihe?"

Wang Zixu said, "I quit."

Ms. An frowned.

Her point was, why would one quit such a stable job as a civil servant? What was she thinking? But Wang Zixu thought she just didn't hear clearly.

"Wang Zixu, you are not young anymore," Ms. An said, "you are over 30 this year, right?"

"thirty-one."

"You're 31, why are you still acting like a child?" she said. "If you quit your job, what will you do in the future? How will you pay for your medical insurance and social security? When you go out and someone asks you what you do, how will you introduce yourself? Will you say you're unemployed?"

Wang Zixu said, "It's not that I can't afford it."

Ms. An said, "You still have to support your father. Your income is so unstable, can you support both of you?"

"My book has just been published in Get, and will be published soon. I'll get the royalties, and I want to win a literary award, and then..."

Wang Zixu finally plucked up the courage and wanted to talk about his achievements, but was immediately interrupted by Ms. An.

"How much can you earn from royalties? It's not like decades ago now. Can one book support you for a lifetime?"

After Ms. An finished speaking, she continued, "I have met many writers. They all have a proper job, which gives them a position in society. Can you get respect from others just by writing? Are you married?"

Wang Zixu said: "Yes, no, no."

"Are you married or not?"

This question confused Wang Zixu. Yes, am I married or not?

"It's over," he said.

"Does your wife support you quitting your job to write?" asked Ms. An.

Wang Zixu said: "She ran away from home."

Ms. An frowned and stared at him for a long time, then finally seemed to soften her heart and sighed.

"I didn't care enough about you before, blame me. You may have blamed me in your heart, but I also have my own difficulties."

"I never blamed you." said Wang Zixu.

"How did you find this place?"

"coincide."

"If Younan hadn't invited you, you wouldn't be able to come in here. Did you try to establish a relationship with her because you knew who she was?"

"No," Wang Zixu felt sweat on his back, "I only found out about her relationship with you today." Ms. An stared at him for a long time, as if trying to see from his eyes whether he was telling the truth.

After a long time, she sighed, opened her handbag, searched for something in it quickly, and finally took out a card.

"I have a bank card here. There's probably about 200,000 yuan in it. Take it."

Wang Zixu did not extend his hand.

"You think it's too little? This is all I have on hand." Ms. An raised her eyebrows.

"No," Wang Zixu said, "I don't need money."

Ms. An took back the card and said, "I know I was wrong not to visit you all these years. But I don't want to see your father, and he doesn't want to see me either.

"This marriage with your father was a mistake in my life. I spent a lot of money to correct this mistake. When I see you, I will think of him. Do you understand?"

Wang Zixu nodded, feeling a little bitter: "I understand."

"I thought about taking you in before," Ms. An said, her smile suddenly dimming, "but I can't do it. I don't want to give you the illusion that you can rely on me. You still have to rely on yourself."

Wang Zixu shook his head: "I never thought of relying on others."

"Don't be fooled by my glamorous appearance now. Behind the scenes, I have suffered a lot of unknown pains. I can't do whatever I want." Ms. An sighed, "You will never be able to imagine how much pain I have gone through. I can't even tell anyone."

Wang Zixu nodded: "Yes."

But he thought to himself, I can’t tell anyone about the hardships I’ve endured.

"You can go back." Ms. An's expression became serious. "If you have any problems in the future, you can send me a message. Don't you have my contact information? Don't contact my social circle anymore, and don't contact Younan anymore."

After a pause, she continued, "It's not good for her, it's not good for me, and it's not good for you. Do you understand? If you don't consider us, you should also consider yourself."

"Ah."

"Remember, son," said Ms. An, "life depends on fate. Some people are born with good luck, like Younan. If someone with bad luck comes to provoke you, it will only make things worse for you. You have to accept your bad fate, do you understand?"

Wang Zixu nodded.

"Okay, go out and call An Younan in. Don't leave until we come out."

Wang Zixu stood up and pushed the door open. As soon as he opened the door, he met An Younan's gaze.

She looked pitiful and about to cry. She looked at Wang Zixu hesitantly, as if she wanted to confirm something with him.

"Your mother asked you to come in." Wang Zixu said.

An Younan took two steps forward and opened her mouth. Before she could speak, Wang Zixu whispered, "Come in," and pushed her in.

After closing the door, Wang Zixu slowly walked downstairs.

An Younan stayed in the room three times longer than Wang Zixu. They talked for a long time, and the volume became louder and louder, but it was unclear what they were arguing about. Later, the volume decreased and the conversation became calmer.

Finally, they both walked out. An Younan's eyes were red, and she lowered her head and walked past Wang Zixu. Ms. An patted Wang Zixu on the shoulder.

"Go back." She said, "I'll let Younan take you back."

……

Wang Zixu followed An Younan out and found the car. An Younan pointed at the door sullenly and said, "I don't want to drive. You sit in the driver's seat."

After getting in the car, Wang Zixu started the car and drove out of the community. An Younan didn't say a word until she got on the main road.
"She didn't let me meet you again. I had a fight with her before she agreed to let me come and see you off one last time."

Wang Zixu said, Oh.

"What did you say to her in there?"

"It's almost the same topic," Wang Zixu said, "She doesn't let me meet you again. It's not good for us."

An Younan looked down at his expression and asked, "Is she really your mother?"

"Yes."

"If my dad knew that I was in contact with you and knew about this relationship, he would probably be furious." An Younan said, "So she said it's not good for us."

Wang Zixu was also aware of this.

The relationship between husband and wife who started out as a couple is prone to this kind of taboo. Regardless of whether Ma Yongrong knew about Ms. An's past, the sudden appearance of Wang Zixu, the inexplicable eldest son, always made people a little daunted.

"Is she really your mother?" An Younan asked again.

"Yes." Wang Zixu answered again.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I just found out too."

"So, you said your mom divorced your dad, and then she went to the East China Sea and gave birth to me."

Wang Zixu simply said, "Yeah."

"So, you are my half brother." An Younan concluded.

"Yeah." Wang Zixu said again.

An Younan suddenly exploded, grabbed Wang Zixu's arm with both hands, and shook it hard: "Why why why why..."

The car turned sideways and almost went out of the lane. Fortunately, this was Binjiang Avenue and there was no pedestrian on the road. Wang Zixu held the steering wheel tightly and whispered, "Stop it!"

"Why would this happen? I don't want you to be my brother!"

An Younan burst into tears with a "wow".

Wang Zixu turned the steering wheel and found a place to stop the car. After the car stopped, An Younan was still crying, not stopping at all.

"Why are you my brother? How are you similar to me? You are the least likely person in the world to be my brother. Why do you think you are my brother?"

Wang Zixu was originally in a low mood, but when he heard An Younan throwing a tantrum in such a childish way, he found it somewhat amusing and said:
"Yes, I am not worthy of being your brother, and I have never thought of taking advantage of you."

Then, An Younan unexpectedly turned over, sat on his legs, grabbed his collar with both hands, and stared at him with a serious expression.

"I don't want you to be my brother."

"If possible, I don't want to be your brother. I'm not the kind of person who curries favor with the powerful. If possible, I hope to never have anything to do with your family."

An Younan slapped him in the face. Wang Zixu was caught off guard and was stunned.

She said, "You don't understand what I'm talking about. Forget it, let's just forget about it and pretend you never came to my house today."

"Ah?" Wang Zixu didn't understand his train of thought.

"You've never been to my house, you've never met my mother, and you're not my brother," An Younan said, "Let's start over."

"Come, come for what?"

"Let's fall in love!"

Wang Zixu said, "Are you crazy too?"

"You're the one who's crazy, I'm not. I'm sober now," An Younan brushed his hair back, letting his long black hair spread out like a waterfall. "I've already made up my mind. Let's just pretend that what happened today never happened. Let's talk about it as we need to."

"The key is who said they wanted to talk to you?"

An Younan slapped the headrest behind him hard, and Wang Zixu's body shook.

"You won't talk to me about kissing me? Are you being unreasonable?"

Wang Zixu increasingly felt that women were unreasonable:
"Wasn't that a sudden attack by you?... Don't mention that. My stomach is churning when I think about it now. That's something that should be forgotten..."

"I don't care about that!" An Younan started to argue and cried, "I just won't accept it anyway!"

The prince said calmly and humbly, "Calm down. I am sad today, too. It took me a long time to accept the fact that I didn't have a mother. I was only 8 years old at that time. Now the scar has been cut open again. It's bloody and painful, but I accepted it quickly. I am already years old. When you become an adult, you should learn to accept reality."

An Younan stared into his eyes and said:
"If you accept reality, you will be a small civil servant in Xihe for the rest of your life; if you accept reality, you will not become the Little Prince; if you accept reality, you will not be worrying about how to publish Fire in the Stone now."

Wang Zixu was speechless for a moment.

"Why don't you just ignore those messy things and live for yourself for once?"

Wang Zixu said, "What exactly do you want to do? I don't understand. What are you thinking about?"

An Younan said: "I like you! Can't you see that? I have clearly shown that I like you!"

(End of this chapter)