Chapter 308 Collapse
Nearing midnight, when all kinds of people finally had time to rest according to the arrangement tonight, Gullam Abate, who used magic props to transform into black wind and sneaked into Hogwarts behind his grandfather, carefully explored the silent and gloomy wooden boat, trying to find his mother's room.
He walked through each room, trying to find his mother's room from the doors that were slightly different due to personal habits. After looking at a few doors, he looked for the stairs and walked upstairs with a clear goal, because the doors on this floor were too ugly, old and rotten, and there was a stale smell when he got close. His mother, who was very particular about everything, would definitely not live here.
With such a demanding thought in mind, Gulem walked up several floors and finally came to a series of old but quaint mahogany doors. He tiptoed along the corridor with doors facing him, carefully identifying whether there were any of his mother's preferences that his grandfather had rarely told him about.
Finally, he saw a withered black rose on the door in the second half of the corridor. The flower had dried up and shriveled when it was at its most beautiful, but all the shrunken and withered petals formed another kind of swaying, giving it a unique beauty after precipitation.
Gulem looked at the door, took a deep breath, raised his hand tremblingly and knocked on it. Two dull "dong dong" sounds rang in his ears. He suddenly felt a little timid, and retracted his hand in the air slightly. Then he made up his mind and knocked twice more.
He really wanted to see his mother, Lydia Abate, whom he had never met. When his mother was abroad, the letters he had been looking forward to received only disregard and reproach. Now that his mother had finally returned home, he had always remembered his serious grandfather, who had never been so happy before. He packed up carefully to go out, but he was still ignored and even ordered not to attend the Christmas dance for students that his mother would attend.
"Who is it?" The voice of his mother, whom he had never heard before, came along with the sound of the door opening, interrupting the sadness and injustice rising in Gulem's heart. He raised his head and looked over, and the corners of his lips unconsciously curled up twice.
Seeing his mother, Lytia Abate, in person was a long-cherished wish. When this long-cherished wish was fulfilled, another humble hope arose in his heart. As long as his mother didn't show that she hated him so much, even if she just suppressed her disgust and said a few words to him politely, he would be willing.
"Mom...Mom," Gulaimo said nervously, his gray eyes under the chestnut wool curling up and blinking with the pauses in his speech, "I, I just want to come, I want to see you."
Lydia came out wrapped in a nightgown, hugged her chest, raised her head slightly and looked indifferently at Gulem's chestnut hair and gray eyes, and sneered, "Are you not satisfied with your future after leaving Hogwarts?"
"What, what?" Gullam didn't know that his grandfather had already planned to send him to Beauxbatons.
"Come in, you incorrigible fellow," Lydia sneered again, turned around and waved for him to come in, "Isn't it obvious enough that I dislike you in the letter?"
"I know you don't like me, but maybe things will change after getting to know you better?" Gulaimo followed behind, greedily looking at Lydia's back and the house that reflected her personality and taste. "I've actually been looking forward to meeting you."
"Different? How can it be different?" Lytia sat down on the sofa, not even looking at Gu Laimo with disdain, and only playing with her newly done nails two days ago. "The fact that you came to me alone proves that your personality, which I never liked, is exactly the same as I thought, and even less likable."
"Did my father lack food and drink when he raised you? When did he not give you whatever you wanted? He also helped you solve a lot of problems, right?" Lydia glanced at him with indifference. "Don't tell me what impact my separation from you has on you. I think you are still very happy as a little Abate, right?"
"No, it's not like that. Actually, I--" Gulem looked like he had something to say, but he got stuck for several seconds and couldn't finish his sentence. Lytia interrupted him immediately.
"That's enough! I'm more annoyed by your unconsciously causing trouble than by your seeking recognition from outsiders when you have everything that makes you happy." Lytia looked at Gulem's chestnut-haired and gray-eyed son, who belonged to the Abate family, with disgust. She felt insulted in her heart. "What do you believe in bloodline theory? Oh, Merlin, it's strange that I would give birth to a child like you."
"But you've already given birth to me!" The emotions that were cut off one after another surged up, and finally turned into this low roar. Gulem's eyes were unconsciously filled with red bloodshot. "And without me, you can't get out of Azkaban!"
Snapped--
Lydia, who was sitting on the sofa, stood up with one hand wrapped in her robe, took a step forward, and slapped Gulem's face hard. She stared at the boy's trembling face and said in a cold voice, "So you know that your existence is tied to my most painful memory?"
"It's even more annoying, Gulem, than the words in your letter." When you are unfamiliar, you should address her by her surname, but the blood-related mother and son share a surname, and Lydia doesn't want to tarnish the surname 'Abate', so she calls Gulem by her intimate Christian name. "What about 'mother's warm embrace', 'I want a few words from my mother's thoughts', 'the most tender figure is missing in the family', and you keep writing these things to me. Do you know what kind of person I am?"
"I just want my mother!" Gulem covered his face and turned to face Lytia. Tears flowed down his face as he growled fiercely, leaving a glowing trail of water.
"You want a mother, you consider your own emotions, but have you ever considered me who is in pain just because of your existence?" Lytia was not moved by the tears at all, "I am a very extreme person, Gulem, usually I cannot tolerate the slightest flaw, and I will also care a lot about things that are only symbolic. And you are the most symbolic of shame in my world."
"Shame? You clearly had a choice! You still had a chance to not give birth to me when you ran to Country D," Gulaimo shed tears, his excited tone gradually weakened. He grabbed Lytia's hand like a life-saving straw and asked, "Did you love my child at that time..."
This was the only motivation that supported Gulem Abate as Lytia had hated him for more than ten years.
"You should hate your biological father who has fled to Country M and the weird magic in the wizarding world. His hands and feet prevented me from beating you up," Lytia curled her lips and pulled her hand back as if she had touched some garbage. "Even in Azkaban, do you think my father would let anyone touch me? There was a deal, but your biological father took advantage of the deal and let you, who could have left in three months, stay until now!"
Gulem's motivation was shattered, he staggered back and almost fell down, at this moment he finally admitted that he was a child who had never been loved by his mother.
"It's funny, isn't it? My body can't carry out my wishes," Lytia raised her head and looked down at Gulem, who was on the verge of collapse, "and you, again and again, use childish words to try to restrict me from the identity I should freely choose. I don't want to be a mother, at least I don't want to be your mother, and I have done my best."
"You live in the Abate family where everything is readily available. You have done a lot of things in the name of the family, right?" Lytia walked towards Gulaimo, who stepped back step by step with tears in his eyes under her cold gaze. "But I never see you, and I never torture you. I only dispel your fantasy of being a mother when you write to me."
"I didn't understand before that no matter how my father tried to stop you or how I wrote to scold you, you still found ways to send me letters," Lydia's tone suddenly rose sarcastically, "Now I know, I couldn't get out of Azkaban without you?" She repeated what Gulemer had just said and pushed the boy to the wooden door, "Do you think I owe you? As a mother, I naturally owe you, and as a prisoner who owed you to get out of prison because of you?"
“No no…no…” Gulemer hit the door with a dull sound. He didn’t cry, but the muscles on his face trembled uncontrollably, his nose and tears flowed, and his mouth opened and closed weakly, “I just…I just want my mom…”
"You want a traditional, gentle mother who is bound to you for life and death?" A short, sharp laugh pierced Gulaimo's ears. Lytia slightly pushed him away from the door and opened it to invite him out. "But unfortunately, Lytia Abate will never be that kind of person in her life."
"I never thought about it that way. I just thought that mothers treat their children differently." Gulem said dejectedly, tears continuing to fall. He sniffed, and with enough blows, he raised his eyes and looked blankly at his biological mother. He stopped arguing, and walked out the door obediently with his back bent and his body hunched.
Lydia slammed the door, with impatience on her face. She walked to the dressing table and picked up the silver letter, wanting to send a message to her father who was resting on another floor. When she opened it, she remembered that she could not use credit in Hogwarts. "Merlin!" she muttered, put down the silver letter, turned around and fell on the big bed.
She closed her eyes and rested for a while on the bed. Her chest, which had been rising and falling, gradually stabilized. When everything seemed to be returning to calm, Lytia took a deep breath, and her pair of narrow and sexy gray eyes opened under the ambiguous light that made people feel drowsy.
She stood up, looked at her clothes, and walked to the cloakroom.