Chapter 337 Abnormal Error
There are some things that have to be acknowledged, and a realistic and ruthless approach is appropriate.
She had secretly sighed countless times for Harry and the others for not being realistic or cruel enough, but in the end, she kept making this mistake herself.
Is it true that double standards are a hurdle that people cannot overcome?
After the wedding, Della, who drank two more glasses of alcoholic juice, said goodbye to the trio and declined Maggie's bedtime story. She lay alone in front of the round window in Durmstrang's room, her mind swaying up and down with the light spots floating on the Black Lake.
I don’t know if it was because she was still brooding over it, or if Maggie did it on purpose, or if the conversation that was not initiated by Maggie really contained the meaning of “not considering the actual situation and insisting on having one’s own way will lead to tragic consequences”, but now Della is not so determined.
In fact, when she thought about it carefully, Della almost couldn't figure out whether she was good or bad to Draco.
On the positive side, there was nothing new. It was just a normal relationship between a couple, and with compromise on both sides, it was sweet. She was especially touched that Draco compromised for her.
As for the bad side, the root cause cannot be avoided without Maggie. The cunning snake usually uses psychological means, supplemented by interests to cover up, and recently used underhanded tricks to prevent further bond between her and Draco.
It sounds like Maggie is completely bad, right?
But why does she choose Maggie every time?
Maggie's shadow can be seen in every step, but she is responsible for most of the actual decisions.
If there was no Maggie, Della could confidently say that she preferred Draco. However, without such an if, her indulgence of Maggie was even more excessive than her preference. You know, when you favor someone, you will believe that wrong behavior is right, but she knew all the mistakes of Maggie, but still chose him in the end.
It can really be said to be an abnormal relationship.
The water waves that were swaying slightly in front of her suddenly stirred up a small wave. Della temporarily stopped her unpleasant thinking and concentrated on inferring the activities in the water based on the direction of the waves. It was Sadolin and Dmitri swimming to the other side again.
Sadolin's mental state has not been very good recently. Although she has been keeping a low profile on the ship most of the time like before, according to the book list updated for her every half month, Sadolin has obviously read fewer books recently. She has even seen tears on Sadolin's face several times as she stared at Hogwarts in a daze.
To be honest, Della was not used to Sadolin's sensitivity and sentimentality at first. She used to kill countless snake monsters, but now that she was in love, she could shed tears?
Della always thought that it was the "Romeo and Juliet effect" that made Sadolin, who was troubled by Maggie, an external force, overly rekindle her determination to defend love, making her so personified.
But there was one time, which was also the time when she saw Sadolin crying the most. Sadolin rarely looked towards Hogwarts. She stared at the surface of the Black Lake, tears kept flowing, and her breathing became lighter. Della followed her line of sight and saw Myrtle who came to play by the Black Lake.
Della had read Myrtle's memory in second grade and knew that Myrtle died because she looked into the basilisk's eyes, which meant that she died because of Sadolin.
The moment she saw Myrtle, Della knew that Sadolin was a person.
He is a person with complex emotions, contradictory thoughts, and easy to be entangled.
Such a complex and contradictory person always chooses to run towards Dmitry under the unfavorable external and internal conditions created for her by Maggie.
This kind of rush to break through everything is definitely not just that kind of vulgar love, and Sadolin's shining point is definitely not just her persistence in love.
To be fair, Della used to like and admire Cynthia more than Sadolin, both of whom were related to her in their birth. Most of the extra love came from her unbridled envy of Cynthia.
By now Della found Sadolin almost as worthy of her envy, because she had never had such sincere external emotions.
Even if you bring up Quirrell, the man who started her killing and symbolized the beginning of everything that is irreversible, Della would remain calm and would never shed tears like Sadolin.
How ridiculous! She made two non-humans look like humans, but she herself was the most non-human among them.
Is this my nature? Would it be better to stop pretending? Would it be better to just go along with Maggie?
Would a lonely future with Maggie, looking down on everything without any ties, be better?
Della turned the silver ring on her hand, realizing that since she had already labeled this future lonely, she didn't think this future was any better.
but......
Della took off the silver ring and pinched the ring in the center with her two fingers. She looked at the ring and her bare middle finger, then repeatedly put on the ring to recall the excitement she felt when she first put it on.
She was sure that her emotions were quite volatile when she got the ring, but when she thought about it again now, that volatility seemed like an illusion, as if it had not happened to her.
Then, Della began to question, questioning Della's existence.
At this point, even though Della was deeply in negative emotions, she knew that her thinking had reached a dead end. Her always alert reason also gave the correct answer - she couldn't be alone and she really needed a psychologist.
but......
Maggie...
Della didn't understand why she would list Maggie, the snake that couldn't solve her problems and sometimes even caused them, as an answer. She laughed at herself coldly and felt that when she thought of this answer she had a sense of pretending to be pitiful and escaping. She was like a child who could not escape the influence of her elders in her childhood and regarded Maggie as a childhood trauma that explained all her problems.
No, that should really be some kind of fact, Maggie is an alley that she can never get out of.
"In this vast world, only you and I depend on each other. I can't help but be selfish about this."
Della silently repeated what Maggie had said to her, and finally took off the ring that was moving back and forth on her hand and gently put it aside.
She made a choice, one that Della knew was wrong, but she made anyway.
She was going to tear an innocent boy's heart apart.
And all she gets from this behavior is pain and relief from pain.
Ah, enough of those painful, precious, illusory emotions.
Hypocrisy is exchanged for true feelings, true feelings turn into stubbornness, and stubbornness turns into nothingness.
When she got the true love she longed for, she felt guilty; when she got the family she longed for, she felt conflicted; when the future she had outlined came to an end, she finally became numb.
"In this vast world, only you and I depend on each other. I can't help but be selfish about this."
Della repeated Maggie's pitiful words again. She did not feel sorry for Maggie at all, but only sighed deeply for the eternal desolation hidden in them.
She could only sigh, because she had asked for it.
She is the one who is most influenced by Riddle, or even the most poisoned by Riddle. She has cut off infinite possibilities step by step in the past, is complacent in the present, and will completely fall into an abyss in the future.