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Only in this way
She felt a little relieved only when she listened to the rain.
The girl curled up in the corner of the bed.
Matsumae Shinharu frowned.
She herself didn't know what was going on in her heart at the moment?
Why is it so uncomfortable?
She sat up on the bed, hugging the quilt.
She looked at the ceiling above her head and at the rainy night outside the window.
Listening to the noisy chirping of cicadas in the courtyard and the sound of rain outside, Matsumae Xinchun unconsciously hugged her legs and curled up into a ball again.
My heart is so sad.
So uncomfortable, so uncomfortable
Why did I do nothing, yet it seemed like I could do nothing?
My breathing became rapid and sweat began to form on my forehead.
Is the anxiety attack coming back again?
Why does anxiety attack occur at this time?
Hasn't your anxiety disorder been cured?
Matsumae Shinchun supported her aching and dizzy head, walked to the desk and opened the drawer.
药.
It looks like there's only half a dose left.
Haven't had this in so long.
But it should be enough, right?
She took the pill, sat on the bed, and closed her eyes facing the moonlight outside the window.
She continued to breathe using the breathing method that Chitose taught her.
calm
I have to try to calm down.
I don’t know if it was the medicine or Qiansui’s breathing method that worked.
In short, the situation is much better than before.
"Woo——"
A snow fox with a huge tail pushed open the door of the girl's bedroom, walked in under the moonlight, jumped onto the bed, and crawled into her arms.
"Lord Bai Hua?"
Matsumae Shinchun was feeling really miserable at the moment, but with a fox as her companion, she didn't feel so uncomfortable and lonely.
She began to stroke the snow fox's fur, looking for answers from this guardian deity that had been passed down from generation to generation in the Matsumae family.
"Master Bai Hua, I have never been sick before, why is it like this today?"
"Woo." The little snow fox closed its cunning eyes.
"Master Bai Hua, do you think Xinchun knows it herself?"
"Ugh."
Matsumae Xinchun lowered her head, her voice getting lower and lower, "But Xinchun still doesn't understand. I had such a good day today. Xiaoyue came back and was willing to reconcile with me. She not only forgave my mistakes, but also took the initiative to talk to me and communicate. I should be very happy, but why——"
“Woo, woo~”
"Lose? What does it mean to be afraid of losing? You said that Xinchun was afraid of losing because the relationship was getting closer again, so she got sick again?"
Ding Dong
At this moment, the doorbell suddenly rang.
It’s almost nine o’clock, who will come?
Matsumae Shinharu still remembers Sakura-no-ha's advice to her, not to open the door to strangers in the middle of the night.
So she carried Bai Hua to the entrance and asked cautiously:
".who is that?"
"I."
"Teacher Fujii?"
Upon hearing the voice, Matsumae Shinchun hurried downstairs to open the door. She opened the door and saw that it was indeed Fujii Itsuki outside. All the previous gloom seemed to be swept away.
"Teacher, you..."
But the teacher looked like he had been caught in the rain, his hair and clothes were a little wet.
"I just came back from visiting the dean in Sapporo, and it rained unexpectedly. The weather these days is so weird. Sometimes it's raining and it's so cold, and sometimes it's so sunny that it makes people feel uneasy."
"Teacher, why don't you come in first? Your clothes are all wet!"
Fujii Itsuki smiled at the girl in front of him and said, "Xinchun, your side is closer to the station. I'll borrow your umbrella and leave."
But as he was talking, Fujii Itsuki frowned:
"Xinchun, what's wrong with you?"
"what?"
"Xingchun, didn't you notice? You caught a cold after being caught in the rain and sweating all over? I remember you went to Rinka's house to attend a girls' tea party today? Did you get caught in the rain on your way back?"
"Not really, teachers don't have to worry too much."
Fujii Itsuki would not believe the girl's explanation at this time. He immediately touched the girl's round forehead, frowned and moved closer to feel her breath.
Not to mention the high body temperature.
Breathing and heart rate are abnormally fast.
"Anxiety disorder coming back again?"
"Teacher Fujii, you."
"I've been taking care of you for so long, but I still can't tell what's wrong with you? Why don't you take medicine if you're sick again?"
Matsumae Shinchun felt that her lies had been discovered, and she felt a little guilty. She hid her face and explained softly that she had not taken medicine for a long time, and did not prepare more, so she only had half of the standard dose.
"Then just sit at home and don't move. I'll run to the drugstore to buy it for you."
Fujii Itsuki put down the canvas bag in his hand, turned around and was about to go out, but the girl grabbed his hand from behind.
He turned around and saw the girl's figure illuminated by the light in the room.
"Teacher, take the umbrella."
"Row."
Fujii Itsuki nodded.
Afterwards, Matsumae Shinchun watched Fujii Itsuki walk away in the rain holding an umbrella at the door of her home, and gradually disappeared under the street lights in the dark night.
Bai Huadun stood beside the girl.
Matsumae Shinchun looked at the place where Fujii Itsuki disappeared, as if talking to herself, or asking the little snow fox beside her:
"Why is it that when Mr. Fujii comes, Xinchun feels particularly relieved, but when he leaves, she feels very lonely?"
"Ugh."
"Because Xinchun was born lonely?"
"Ugh."
Matsumae Shinharu turned around again.
She looked at her neatly kept little house.
There was no light in the living room, and she never turned on the TV when she was home alone.
What is the purpose of a person being born into this world?
As the eldest daughter of the Matsumae family, she learned to obey orders since birth.
Music, chess, calligraphy, painting, etiquette, martial arts, sacrifice
Even when you smile, you should always keep your teeth hidden.
My mother left for Kyoto, my father was busy with household affairs, my childhood sweetheart separated from me, and then my mother and friends passed away.
My life always seems to be gray.
Every time a rainbow-like light appears beside me, it disappears in an instant.
Matsumae Shinharu's sorrow lasted until Fujii Itsuki came back from buying medicine.
She noticed that the teacher even bought himself a small piece of cake.
When I came back, I stood at the entrance, put away my wet umbrella, carried a canvas bag, and smiled at myself.
At this moment, a strong longing emerged in Matsumae Shinharu's heart.
It was as if the light in the living room behind him became extremely warm because of his smile when he came back.
Is this what is called home?
Worried about the other person, I went out in the rain to buy medicine, and watched him put away his umbrella at the entrance and smile at me when he came back from buying medicine.
Matsumae Shinharu recalls it a thousand times.
I couldn't find a similar scene in my memory.
Whether it's the mother or the father.
What I see most is always their distant and unreachable backs.
"Xinchun, did you prepare a change of clothes for me at home?"