Page 365
The two of them sat down on a bench in Nakajima Park.
The lake here reflects the city office buildings in front, and under the illumination of neon lights and the clamor of vehicle horns outside at night, it has a unique flavor.
Akai Muzi glanced again at the trumpet instrument case on her lap.
"For tomorrow's game?"
"Yeah!" Jiu Huayue agreed readily, with her hands still clasped on the instrument case.
"Xiaoyue, you were kicked out of the team at the beginning. What are you thinking of coming back for?"
Jiu Huayue was a little angry, "What are you talking about! I'm not the kind of person who will give in after being defeated once!"
Akai Muzi supported her face with her left hand and looked at her: "Why do you care so much?"
"what?"
"About the game."
Jiu Huayue now looked at the musical instrument box in her hand, "Don't you know? I want to help my uncle fulfill his dream."
"Generally speaking, people who help others realize their dreams also want to seek something they can get from this dream. Xiaoyue, what do you think you can get?"
Jiuhuayue frowned with a serious expression, and faced Akai Muzi's face with a little surprise in her heart.
Because the uncle had said the same thing to him and asked the same question before.
"My own growth. And care."
"In my opinion, Xiaoyue, you just want to be cared for." said Akai Muzi.
Jiuhuayue cast a questioning look at her, but Akai Muzi stopped looking at her pretty face and smiled with her eyes closed:
"Isn't it?"
"Muzi, how did you come to this conclusion?"
"Xiao Yue, aren't you envious of my past relationship with Shu? You also want to be Shu's friend and share the same hobbies with him. To put it bluntly, you work so hard just to make up for the regrets in Shu's heart, become more dazzling in front of him, and make him pay more attention to your existence."
"."
When Jiu Huayue heard this, she felt as if her heart was pierced through.
She didn't like this feeling very much.
Just when he was about to leave, Akai Muzi tried to stop him with words.
"What else do you want to talk about?"
"Xiao Yue, don't worry. I want to ask you something. You have been practicing the trumpet for a while, and you have a certain understanding of Ashu's skills. What do you think of him in this regard?"
Jiuhuayue fell into memories.
I think of all the images related to Fujii Itsuki.
“Out of reach.”
"Is it."
"Isn't it? You's sister is the leader of the brass group at Saintess College. My skills are far inferior to hers now, but she is still a fan of Uncle. The more you know, the more you can understand how great Uncle was in the past!"
When Akai Muzi heard this, she suddenly laughed.
But this smile did not express any happiness; it was just a feeling of being a kindred spirit.
This proved that her guess was correct.
"Then what do you think when you, Xiaoyue, hold the instrument in front of Shu?"
Jiu Huayue didn't want to say anything more, so she turned around and left, "I won't tell you!"
"You feel quite inferior, right? You feel like you'll never be able to catch up with him."
Jiuhuayue turned around and stared at Akai Muzi: "."
"Don't be surprised, I was like this before. You heard me say how happy I was to practice with Shu every day after school. It was indeed happy, but I needed to practice in other extra time to make up for the huge gap between us."
"."
Jiu Huayue stared at her for a while, then sat down beside her.
Akai Muzi suddenly looked at the musical instrument box in Jiuhuayue's hand.
"I am just like you, feeling unhappy with your poor skills and needing to sneak out in the middle of the night to practice."
"."
Jiuhuayue remained silent.
Akai Muzi looked at the lake where the moon was reflected and fallen leaves were floating, and said:
"I can't catch up with him, he is so good, he is too talented, why can't I do it, sooner or later he will surpass me. This is how I kept asking myself in my heart.
“Even after I confirmed my relationship with Ashu, I still felt uneasy.
"I feel like I'm not good enough for him. He's always been giving in to me. He's the one who brought me out of this desperate situation. Will he meet someone better? Does he deserve someone better?
“I know that low self-esteem will hardly bring me any positive benefits, but after seeing my useless hands, I still can’t help but think so.”
Akai Muzi looked at Jiuhuayue again and smiled.
"I don't know if you've ever had this feeling, Xiaoyue, that he's so great in your heart, that you really want him to look at you more, and really want him to love you a little more. Even when you occasionally leave his side, you feel a sense of loss and discomfort."
"."
Jiuhuayue remained silent.
"It seems that I guessed right. You can't bear to see him leave you, right? You can't bear to let him see that you are useless, right? You are afraid that he will fall in love with another woman and leave you, right?"
"Sister Muzi, how long have you been in this mood?" Jiu Huayue couldn't help but ask.
"ten years."
"now what?"
“Now, we are in deep trouble.”
"Do you regret it?"
"I don't regret it, because I can only get some relief when the other person cares about me. I am very happy when he comes to me for a drink, and I am very happy when he comes to me to relieve stress and chat.
"Many times I know that I am hopeless. Why does it have to be him? But the reality is that it really has to be him."
This long conversation made Jiu Huayue ponder for a very long time.
Want to talk about inferiority complex?
Indeed, there is a little bit.
What if the uncle doesn’t really like me?
What if the uncle still refuses to accept me in the end?
Where should I go?
Just thinking about the time I spent with him, the night he spent in Tokyo just to be with me, the night he bought me a dress and I showed off myself beautifully in front of him, I felt sad because the warmth in it was about to disappear.
I hate it when he's with other girls.
I hate that he doesn't care about himself anymore.
But what Jiuhuayue hates even more is that she can't do anything to change herself.
Since you like someone, why not be more courageous and bold in showing your love? Show the extent of your love?
Since you are reluctant to let him go, you should let the uncle see how much you like him!
Jiuhuayue hugged the instrument box in her hand, and suddenly understood the purpose of Akai Muzi's words to her just now.
"Sister Muzi, you..."
"Hmm? Call me sister?"
Akai Muzi smiled again, as if she had seen the past, "Are you starting to feel motivated?"
"Yes! Of course!"
Jiuhuayue emphasized, and glanced at Akai Muzi, "Although I am very grateful to Sister Muzi for telling me this, and I understand your feelings, but you are still my enemy!
"Not tomorrow, but from now on, I will try my best to win in the competition!"
"You may win the game, but you may not be able to beat me."
Jiu Huayue's mind flashed with the scene of the uncle massaging her legs that day. Her face turned red, but she maintained her composure and snorted:
"Humph, in my opinion, Sister Muzi, you are the loser!"
Akai Muzi was very interested. She noticed the girl's blushing face. "Ashu didn't do anything to you. How can you be so sure?"
"First of all, he has kissed me, and secondly...wait, why did I say so much to you? Thank you for what you said tonight, but I think it's time to go back! It's too late!"
"Leaving now?"
"Of course!"
Jiuhuayue was about to leave, so Akai Muzi naturally followed her back to the hotel.
As she followed behind, she kept thinking back to what the girl had just said and her little expression.
This child has probably already considered herself as Ashu's potential girlfriend in her heart, right?
If you mention anything about your intimate past with Ashu, she will get jealous and feel uncomfortable, so don't mention it yourself.
So cute.
After sending Jiuhuayue back to her own room, the child bowed to him politely to express her gratitude.
Such a sensible and beautiful girl can like Ashu.
While Akai Muzi was happy for him, she also felt a little sad about herself.
Jiu Huayue has not established a relationship with Ashu, but she is still jealous because she thinks he is her potential boyfriend.
I didn't even dare to have this thought at this moment.
I just hope that Ashu doesn't forget me.
Akai Muzi was still feeling a little disappointed, and she was about to turn around and leave, but she didn't expect that Jiuhuayue's door would open again at this time.