Chapter 373 I Can't Forgive Myself
"Everyone, put on your earmuffs - today we're dealing with mandrake roots, and their hooting is loud enough to make an owl faint!"
The herbal medicine class was held in Greenhouse 3. The afternoon light filtered through the glass into the humid air, and the light flowed between the soil and branches, creating mottled light.
Professor Sprout was waving a heavy leather glove, holding up a purple-spotted rhizome that was making a strange chirping sound, and explaining with great interest: "They are moody and can get very emotional when cut."
Amanta put on her earmuffs and lowered her head to check her equipment. Her face was as gloomy as a stone today.
Draco was standing to her left, watching her out of the corner of his eye.
She didn't even bother to look at him, and even disdained to avoid him. No matter how close he stood, she seemed to be unable to see him.
Harry was sitting opposite them, pressing the root ball in the soil with one hand. His expression was more serious than in any previous Herbology class, as if he was about to throw the flowerpot away at the next second.
The practice of distributing rhizomes began, and the greenhouse was gradually filled with the sizzling sound of juice and the professor's advice: "Don't cut too hard!"
Draco finally mustered up the courage and said in a very low voice: "Amanta...I need to make it clear to you."
Amanta did not respond, her eyes fixed on the twisted rhizome in her hand, the tip of the knife gently pressing against its veins.
"What happened yesterday was not what you thought," Draco said again, more urgently, "I didn't want to invite her at all. I originally-"
"Mr. Malfoy," the professor's voice came across the table, "the mandrake root will bite your hand if it is disturbed by emotions."
Draco retracted his fingers, but still turned sideways without giving up: "I can't refuse... I know this is not an excuse, but I just want you to listen to my explanation-"
"Harry," Amanta suddenly interrupted, speaking calmly, "lend me your knife."
Harry's hands shook when his name was called, and the knife almost fell into the mud basin: "Huh? W-what?"
"Knife." Amanta didn't look up.
Harry hastily handed over the knife, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of them.
"I, I didn't mean to eavesdrop..." He gritted his teeth and whispered quickly, "I know you guys were arguing because... Draco invited someone else to dance with him..."
"It wasn't a quarrel." Amanta's voice was colder than the soil in the greenhouse. "We didn't quarrel."
"I don't think having a dance partner is that important..." Harry tried to ease the atmosphere, "But... haven't you two always been... you know?"
"Know what?" Amanta suddenly looked up at him. Her eyes were not sharp, but they were enough to make Harry speechless.
She looked at him for two seconds, then lowered her head and started processing the roots again.
"Harry," she said softly, "you don't understand."
Harry stood there, not knowing what to do for a moment, and felt his ears getting hot.
Draco's expression became more and more ugly.
"What do you think I should do?" His voice was hoarse. "If I don't agree, it's the same as rejecting my father - you know what that means. You know."
Amanta was silent for a few seconds.
Then, slowly, she said, "Yes, of course I know."
Draco's eyes lit up: "Then you should understand that I don't--"
"I know that's not what you meant." Amanta interrupted him, her tone flat, "I knew it when I saw it yesterday."
Draco was stunned.
"Then why did you-"
“That’s what I’m disappointed about.”
As she said this, a root in the greenhouse screamed, scratching her eardrums with a piercing sound.
She didn't raise her eyes, and her tone was normal.
"You can refuse, Draco." She said unhappily, and every word seemed to be stinging. "It's not that you don't have a choice, but that you didn't choose me."
"You chose to remain silent, chose to stand in front of me, and didn't explain anything when an unrelated girl told you 'I'm his dance partner.'"
"You think I understand your difficulties?" She finally raised her eyes, her gaze calm, "I understand, so I am even more disappointed."
Draco felt like he had been hit by a heavy punch.
His throat rolled, but he couldn't say anything.
Amanta lowered her eyelashes and said calmly: "The most outstanding heir of Slytherin family must sacrifice herself to fulfill the family's arrangement."
"congratulations."
"At least your father will be satisfied."
At the front of the classroom, Professor Sprout suddenly announced loudly: "This class is over! Next week we will enter the special seed conservation in the winter greenhouse, bring your wool scarves!"
Amanta took off her earmuffs, then her gloves, and quickly put away her tools.
She stood up, without looking at anyone, threw her cloak away, and walked away.
The air suddenly became quiet and Harry froze in place, not chasing after him.
Draco also froze in place.
His face was pale, as if all the blood had been drained from his skin.
"Draco..." Harry whispered, "You know very well..."
Draco lowered his head, his voice bitter: "But she can't forgive me, and I can't forgive myself."