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This is also what puzzled her. Why would Vermouth help her in this way?
In Miyano Shiho's memory, she had never had any contact with the Thousand-Faced Witch when she was in the organization. The two of them were not close, but at least they treated each other like strangers.
It's the kind of relationship where you wouldn't even say hello if you bump into each other by chance.
With such an unfamiliar relationship, why would Vermouth come to help her?
"Motives..."
Bai Heqing fell silent again, but compared to the previous times, he was silent for much longer this time, and his face no longer had the pensive expression as before, but one of helplessness and guilt.
Miyano Shiho rarely saw this expression on his face. In her previous memories, Shirakawa Kiyoshi would only show this expression slightly when he mentioned her parents.
What Miyano Shiho herself didn't realize was that, at some point, she had turned her head directly to look at the expression on Shirakawa Kiyoshi's face, instead of looking at him with those furtive eyes.
"I think……"
Finally, after a long silence, Bai Heqing spoke again.
"I'm afraid her real motive is not you, but me."
"Eh?"
This was also an answer that Miyano Shiho did not expect.
you? "
Suddenly, a guess emerged in her mind.
"What's your relationship with her?"
In the past ten years, Shirakawa Kiyoshi had never told her anything about his family. Even when Miyano Shiho asked her, Shirakawa Kiyoshi never said anything.
Over time, she stopped asking.
Now that I think about it, Shirakawa Qing can change his appearance, and Vermouth can also change his appearance. Could these two really have any relationship?
"I've killed a lot of people in the past."
Without answering her directly, Bai Heqing suddenly spoke and talked about something that seemed to have nothing to do with the topic they were discussing.
"Twenty years ago, my life was all about saving people.
From saving their lives to solving the minor troubles in their lives, I have always tried my best in the process, and the final results are mostly impeccable.
From anyone's perspective at the time, I should have been a perfect police officer without any flaws."
When saying the word "police", Shirakawa Kiyoshi paused slightly.
Miyano Shiho didn't understand the meaning of his pause, she was just surprised by what Shirakawa Kiyoshi said.
police?
Similarly, she didn't know that Shirakawa Kiyoshi was a policeman before.
During the ten years that Baihe Qing took care of her, although he had always been very kind to her, he never mentioned anything about his past to her...
and many more!
Perhaps it is not that it has not been mentioned at all.
Miyano Shiho suddenly thought of a possibility.
Could it be that those police and detective stories that Shirakawa Qing used to tell her to sleep were all his own past experiences?
"But Shiho, you know what?"
Shirakawa Kiyoshi's voice brought Miyano Shiho back to reality again.
“I didn’t really feel anything about these things, even though people at the time gave me countless positive honors and praise for my actions.
But I myself have never felt the slightest sense of satisfaction or recognition from saving others, as if the person being praised was not the real me, but someone else.
The reason why I have been doing these things diligently and conscientiously is not because I have a strong sense of justice in my heart, or because I hate those criminals so much. None of that is true.
I did these things simply because someone wanted me to do so, so I did it.
I noticed this very early on.
If I think about it carefully, this may be a change that happened after my mother's tragic death. It's as if something was suddenly missing in my mind, and life, such an important existence, seemed to have become a very ordinary thing in my cognition.
It can be saved or taken away at will, just like the clothes on our body. If we like it, we wear it. If we don’t like it, we throw it away. At worst, we can just change it...
The first person to notice this change in me was my then-fiancée..."
()
Chapter 549 Silver Bullet
"To me, human life is like the clothes we wear. If you like it, wear it. If you don't like it, throw it away. At worst, you can just change it...
The first person to notice this change in me was my then-fiancée..."
Inside the car, Shirakawa Kiyoshi was still slowly telling about his past, while Miyano Shiho was sitting beside him, listening quietly.
"Obviously, she didn't want to see this change in me continue, but she couldn't do anything about it, so she finally said to me that she hoped I would become a good police officer.
Shiho, have you heard the story of Journey to the West?
In the story, Monkey King wore a golden hoop on his head which he could not take off. Whenever the monk from the Tang Dynasty chanted a spell, the golden hoop would tighten, making Monkey King suffer excruciating pain.
To me, her words are actually like the golden hoop on Monkey King's head. The only difference is that she doesn't have to recite the spell over and over again, because her "spell" is her first sentence. And I won't be in as much pain as Monkey King, because she knows that I will always listen to her.
It was by using this method, which was almost like hostage-taking, that she made me an excellent police officer.
If everything goes according to the normal script, there won't be any major changes in the rest of my life, because as long as she is still alive, I will definitely perform my duties as a police officer conscientiously and responsibly.
Of course, this doesn't mean that I hate doing this. As I said just now, I have never had any feelings about good and evil, justice and evil, killing and saving people. No matter which side it is, it will not bring me any special feedback.
To me, they are all the same.
But if someone I care about wants me to choose one side, then I will naturally choose that side.
So when I think about it carefully, what I care about is not saving others, nor the layer of skin that I have as a police officer.
What I really care about is the person who hopes that I can become a good police officer. The reason I do that is just to meet her expectations... What if one day, she suddenly dies?
Shiho, do you think that if one day the person I really want to satisfy is suddenly gone, will it still make sense for me to do these things? "
Shirakawa Kiyoshi suddenly looked at Miyano Shiho. Even Miyano Shiho could feel that Shirakawa Kiyoshi was talking about something that was extremely sad for him, but his tone at this moment was extremely calm, which made people feel uneasy.
“I spent a long time thinking about this.”
As if he didn't want Miyano Shiho to answer, Shirakawa Qing retracted his gaze and continued to talk to himself:
"I think it's meaningless."
“Perhaps for other people, this is meaningful. After all, it is the last hope and expectation of the deceased for the living. How could it become meaningless just because the deceased has passed away?
But to me, this is a meaningless behavior, because once dead, dead is dead. No matter how much you do, the dead can never come back to life, let alone look at you again. The so-called sustenance is nothing but self-comfort in the hearts of the living.
After I figured this out, I was planning to end my life, but before that, there was one more thing I wanted to do. ”
At this point, Bai Heqing fell silent again. He parked the car on the side of the road, lowered his head, and spoke again after a long while:
"When she was about to die, she told Sharon that she regretted it... That happened many years ago, and it involved the Karasuma family and the Hatoyama family at the time. It was about a special research, and Karasuma Ren'ya hoped to drag the Hatoyama family into the game as well."
[Research? Could it be?!]
"This research later had a name. In fact, it was your mother, Shiho, who came up with the name - Silver Bullet."
Looking at the shocked Miyano Shiho with a smile, Shirakawa Kiyoshi continued:
"Karasuma Renya knew that she was in poor health, which was no secret among the big families in Tokyo at that time. He therefore believed that the Hatoyama family would not refuse his invitation, and this was indeed the case.
Mr. Hatoyama had indeed been persuaded by Karasuma Renya, but she was the one who refused as she was at the core of the problem.
She was clearly aware at that time that once the research on the silver bullet was successfully completed, it would bring terrible changes to the world.
After all, no matter what the reason is, this research will never be disclosed to the public, and its results will inevitably only be passed on to a very small number of people.
So, what kind of people must meet the conditions to get it? And what kind of harm will these people do to the world? What will happen to those who can't get it? I think these should not need me to explain too much.
She realized the horrible future that the silver bullet would inevitably bring.
Even though these future events will not actually happen to her, and even though she herself will become a vested interest in this research, she still chooses to stand on the side of the voiceless people who will never benefit from this research.
Not only did she reject Karasuma Renya's invitation, she even proposed to Mr. Hatoyama at the time that he must find a way to arrest and control Karasuma Renya.
She said that she had already seen the bottomless desire in Karasuma Renya's eyes at that time. Even without the help of the Hatoyama family, that person would definitely try every means to promote the progress of this research. If not stopped, his desire would eventually engulf the world.
Looking back now, she was right in her speculation. In order to maintain the research on the silver bullet, the organization had indeed done too much evil in this world.
But it is a bit regrettable that Mr. Hatoyama, who had power across the Japanese police and public security at that time, did not do so. Although he rejected Karasuma Renya's invitation, he also acquiesced to his behavior.
After all, as I said, once the research on the silver bullet is completed, the Hatoyama family will become the vested interest, and old man Hatoyama wants to save his granddaughter... who was my fiancée at the time.
Later, as death approached, her heart began to waver. It was not that she was afraid of death, but that she was afraid of the established fact that she was destined to go before me.
Unlike when she dared to directly reject Karasuma Renya, she already had too many concerns in her heart at that time.
Of course, she never said these words to me, and she only mentioned Sharon once. If I hadn't been standing outside the door at the time, I would never have known that she had such thoughts in her mind.
I still can't figure out whether this was her true feelings or a lie she deliberately told to get Sharon to agree to her request...
But no matter what the truth is, as time goes by, it has become an obsession in my heart that I can’t let go of.”
Having said this, Shirakawa Kiyoshi looked at Miyano Shiho again.
"Shiho, I want to see the success of Silver Bullet with my own eyes."
It’s not over yet, we’ll continue tomorrow…
By the way, just a small question, is what Shirakawa Kiyoshi said to Miyano Shiho true or false?
Chapter 550 Baihe, you are lying
"Shiho, I want to see the success of Silver Bullet with my own eyes."
Finally, Bai Heqing said this.
“This has been an obsession of mine for a long time. I once thought I had let it go, but after so many years, I realized that it was still the thing I couldn’t let go of.
In the past ten years, I have killed too many people for it. They were all incompetent mediocre people who would not play any role except wasting time and money.