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He now lies in this rental house every day, doing nothing, either sleeping or smoking. When he is hungry, he eats some Nissin Cup Noodles bought from 711-. He doesn't know how much more carefree he is than before.
Ugh.
Actually, the resignation was not entirely due to Academic Affairs Minister Takashima.
After three years in Tokyo, my money was earned by the landlord, my reputation was taken by the school, and my life was completely immersed in the machine called society. Even if I want to buy a game console to relax, I have to consider whether I have enough time to rest.
Sometimes Fujii Itsuki feels like a gear, repeating the same routine every day, silently bearing the pressure from both sides and then trying hard to spin himself.
In the end, after more than ten years of hard work, the social status I have gained is still not as good as the "Dad" that some people call when they just learn to speak.
He has been thinking about one question for the past three months.
Why am I trying so hard to survive when I am alone in this big city of Tokyo with no relatives or friends and no one to rely on?
I have been a teacher for three years and have done a lot of extra work for this position, but it is still difficult to gain extra recognition.
The teachers at school are attentive, and it has nothing to do with Fujii Itsuki.
Isn't this what a teacher should do?
Isn't that what other teachers in the school do?
The superiors and parents all think so.
Therefore, the pressure on teachers caused by handwritten lesson plans has doubled, and they don’t even notice that there are parents who agree with and approve of such an outrageous thing as a contact sheet, completely disregarding their job experience as teachers.
After working for three years, Fujii Itsuki finally understood.
The teacher’s dream was false and has been shattered.
The profession of a teacher requires not only to be a good teacher, but also to deal with all kinds of human relationships, and all kinds of flattery.
For students' parents, they are not only their children's teachers, but also the victims of all kinds of miscellaneous matters.
He had finally figured it out. There was no need to waste time on himself. As long as he didn't pursue too much, didn't insist on continuing to live in the city of Tokyo, and stopped pursuing his so-called dreams, he might not have as much money, but his life would be much happier than it was now.
Just like the decisive resignation three months ago, even though it is impossible for me to be a teacher anymore, I live a freer and more relaxed life than before and no longer have to swallow my anger.
Now Fujii Itsuki just wants to leave Tokyo and return to Hokkaido to grow potatoes and vegetables to accumulate funds, and finally open a coffee shop of his own and spend the rest of his life quietly.
When I woke up, it was already evening.
The setting sun was brilliant, and the dark clouds were burning red.
Get up, spend two hours sorting out the trash, and another half an hour packing clothes.
Fujii Itsuki placed the key to the rental house under the flowerpot at the door, looked up at the bustling Tokyo in the distance, carried a suitcase, and left alone in the sunset.
His hometown, or rather the place where he was picked up, is located in Otaru City, Hokkaido, which requires changing trains in Sapporo.
Now, it is the beginning of winter.
The snow is flying.
Leaving Tokyo, we got off the ferry to the port, and then from the port to the tram station. After a day of travel, it was already late at night.
Fujii Itsuki's head, which was wrapped tightly with a scarf, was covered with snowflakes.
Although Sapporo is the largest city in Hokkaido, it is far inferior to Tokyo.
The rusty platform steel shed and the old-fashioned vending machines with gray to white glass are enough to show the difference.
Perhaps because of the heavy snow and wind today, he couldn't see anyone else on the platform except himself.
Except that place.
There was so much snow on the platform that it obscured his vision. Fujii Itsuki picked up a cigarette and squinted his eyes, only to realize that there was another person standing on the right edge.
Looks like a young girl.
Very young, probably only high school age.
She was wearing a red shawl coat, which was very eye-catching.
When the wind and snow passed and Fujii Itsuki could finally see the girl's profile, he was so shocked that he stood there in shock.
Under a white beret, the girl's long black hair, which is darker and more beautiful than ink, is draped over her shoulders.
Her eyelashes are neat and dense, her nose is straight and full, her lips are pink and crystal clear. Her skin is white, and her oval face is smooth without any roughness. The white air she exhales in the snow seems to be telling the above elements about her pure and unique beauty.
The snowflakes seemed to be embellishing her charming and beautiful face.
The girl's purple eyes were gazing at the sky, and her hands were scooping up snow. The snow was falling all around her. She was so beautiful, just like a portrait of a girl in a novel.
This enchanting red color was truly unique in this lonely and desolate snowy day. Fujii Itsuki subconsciously glanced at her once more.
Her facial features are generally more Asian, but more three-dimensional; her eyes are big, a beautiful purple, and she looks a bit foreign, like an exquisite doll; her height is unusually tall, estimated to be over 1.7 meters, and her legs together look very slender under the gray skirt.
Like a swan.
He had been in the international metropolis of Tokyo for three years, and had never seen a girl with such temperament, nor had he ever seen such beautiful purple eyes.
Based on his experience, Fujii Itsuki could conclude that she was definitely the most popular person in the school.
But just based on the temperament she displayed, Fujii Itsuki knew that he and she were not of the same class or from the same world.
She was most likely born in a wealthy family, had a good education and family background, and did not need to struggle to climb up from the bottom like herself.
Looks, education, status, wealth. She was born with it.
It's really enviable.
Out of politeness, Fujii Itsuki immediately withdrew his gaze and continued to wait for the last train.
A streak of white light penetrated the misty snowflakes and came from afar.
It also brings the slight resonance of the rumbling sound of the platform.
The tram is coming.
Fujii Itsuki subconsciously pulled the suitcase, tilted his head, and looked into the distance in the direction of the light.
Just then, he noticed that the beautiful girl had moved a few steps toward the edge of the platform.
The tram was getting closer and closer, and she was getting closer and closer to the edge of the platform.
Is this suicide?
Chapter 3: Girl in the Snow
Is this suicide?
Fujii Itsuki hesitated for two seconds.
That's it
Seeing her eyes that were empty and facing the wind and snow, Fujii Itsuki suddenly felt a sense of sympathy with her.
fine.
He chose to look away and pretend he saw nothing.
He even raised his head and looked at the snowflakes falling from the sky.
he thinks.
If it were my old self, I would have chosen to stop her without a doubt, right?
I will tell her that there are many wonderful things in this world, and that as long as she is willing to struggle and work hard, she will eventually be able to overcome difficulties and achieve success.
But what about the facts?
He can't do it himself.
There was a student in the school who was trying to commit suicide by cutting his wrists with a utility knife because his family neglected to care for him. After his parents learned about what happened to their child at school, they called and scolded him, asking if he, as the person in charge, really knew anything about education!
I scolded myself for two hours.
Fujii Itsuki knew that the parent couldn't find anyone to shift the blame to, so he chose to call him.
But as a teacher, he couldn't refute at all. Every time a parent scolded him, he had to bend down and nod into the phone, repeating "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" over and over again.
When he was under the most pressure, he would return to his empty rental house at night, eat the instant noodles he made for himself, and stare blankly at the lovers’ reunion on TV with laughter and joy. He could not find any sense of his own existence in this world.
This girl is so beautiful, and she chose to come here at this age, and to stand on such a basically empty platform. She must have experienced pressure that others could hardly imagine.
Outsiders and police officers might advise her that the past events and past stress are over and no need to think about them.
But who can understand the situation and emotions of the parties involved?
People can never understand each other.
It’s like some children are forced by their parents and threaten to jump off the building, but the parents still do as they please, thinking that their children don’t have the courage to do so.
As a result, the child opened the window and jumped down from the 20th floor, causing his parents to cry and regret.
Fujii Itsuki closed his eyes and let the coldness of the snowflakes soak into his face.
He waited for the tram to whiz by from right to left, honking its horn.
The train from the Snow Country still slowly stopped in front of the platform and opened the empty doors as usual.
There was no special sound.
He turned his head and found that the girl was still standing in the same position, but closer to the edge of the platform.
Another girl who has not made up her mind.
Fujii Itsuki sighed inwardly, helplessly, and slowly walked to her side, pulling his suitcase. They stood in front of the open carriage of the train, one taller than the other.
Time froze for a moment, with only the sound of wind and snow.
"Aren't you going up?" Fujii Itsuki said to the empty carriage in front.
The sound of "not going up" is crisp and clean, like snow.
"Where are your parents?"
"at home."
"So what are you doing here?"
"Suicide"