Chapter 58 I'll pay for the buns, give me your phone
Chapter 58 I'll pay for the buns, give me your phone (First order please!)
"Bai Bufan: "Voice" 60s"
"Bai Bufan: "Voice" 60s"
"Bai Bufan requested a voice call."
"You have hung up."
"Bai Bufan: Come on, come on, Lin Li, turn on the microphone, turn on the microphone!!!!"
"Lin Li: "Donnie Yen's emoticon" (Look, he's anxious again.)"
Lin Li didn't click on these voice clips at all. You can tell what Bai Bufan is going to spit out without even thinking about it. Although everyone is scolding a virtual mother on the Internet, there is no need to get involved in getting scolded.
Sixty seconds is the upper limit of WeChat, not Bai Bufan’s upper limit.
Maybe it's not just his voice. When you click on it, you'll hear the exciting combination of skills in their dormitory.
"Bai Bufan: The rising sun in the east, the evening glow of the blue sun; the crimson mist in the clouds, the twilight campfire."
Bai Bufan suddenly wrote a poem for himself. The whole poem expressed the author's homesickness through the description of natural scenery.
Lin Li ignored.
"Bai Bufan: I've had enough of your groundless framing. We are done with each other. I will work together with Bao Wei to bully you!
Listen up, we're having a really cool party this weekend and all the hotties in school are going to be there, but guess who isn't invited? "American baseball uniform man dancing emoji"
"Lin Li: No problem bro, you guys are going to the party, I'm going to go crack down on prostitution this weekend."
"Bai Bufan:?"
"Bai Bufan: Brother, have you found the target?"
"Lin Li: I don't understand what you are saying."
"Bai Bufan: Hey, good brother, isn't this the flood that washed away the Dragon King Temple? Guess what, I suddenly remembered that although I don't have hemorrhoids, I can learn. I like hemorrhoids the most!"
"Lin Li: Are you going to stop bullying me with Bao Wei?"
"Bai Bufan: Brother, I'm just kidding. Bao Wei and I are just playing around. You and I are the real deal. If you give me the order, I will add mustard to his hemorrhoid cream and mix wind oil into his eye drops without any hesitation."
"Lin Li: He was arrogant at first but respectful later. It makes people laugh when they think about it."
"Bai Bufan: You laughed! You actually laughed! Young Master, you haven't laughed in ten years. Now that you can be made to laugh by me, it's worth it even if I die."
"Lin Li: Okay, we'll talk about it in detail when we get to school. Don't try to collect data on other software. Don't make mistakes and get yourself into trouble. It's getting late. Go to bed first."
I took a long detour and had a midnight snack. Now it’s almost past twelve o’clock and I haven’t even taken a shower.
"Bai Bufan: Stand still and go to sleep."
"Lin Li: Deduct 3 for good night, deduct 2 to revive the prison boss, deduct 1 to send a small pudding."
"Bai Bufan: Is Brother 1111 really giving it to me?"
"Lin Li: +3"
"Bai Bufan: +3"
The chat ended here and he yawned. Although he was not physically tired today, using his brain seriously would make people tired. Since activating the system, Lin Li's sleep quality has been better than he could have imagined.
……
Having good sleep quality does not mean you can wake up early.
If the weather in September this year had not been as hot as summer, Lin Li's plan to get up early would have been even more difficult - after all, beds are definitely the place where the most earthbound spirits are born in winter.
Rubbing his sleepy eyelids, Lin Li opened the curtains, but unfortunately the morning light at this time was not warm and his body was still cold.
Looking up at the sky, there are a lot of clouds today, but the color is bright, not dark. Lin Li checked the weather forecast, and it didn't say it was going to rain.
But as we all know, the weather is as changeable as women, and the weather forecast is as unreliable as men. You'd better bring an umbrella with you. If it doesn't rain, you can leave the umbrella in the classroom as a backup.
Lin Li looked at the clouds, his sleepy eyes suddenly firmed up. He wiped away his nonexistent tears: "Lao Da, you've worked so hard, what right do I have to complain?"
In Lin Li's eyes, these clouds are not clouds at all. They are clearly the cotton that God asked Kobe to plant at four in the morning.
Look at that cloud, it looks like a watermelon.
Look at that cloud, it looks like fried chicken.
Look at the cloud left by the plane. If this isn’t God’s whip, then what is it?
Lao Da planted so much in less than an hour. As the successor of the Mamba spirit, how could I be weak!
……
[Get up before the Mao hour for one week and practice the Eight-Stage Body Building Exercise seriously, and before the Chen hour, for at least half an hour in total. (5/7)]
There are only two days left before this mission is completed.
Today is still a very relaxing day.
"The odd-numbered chapters are about physical training, while the even-numbered chapters are about magical training. It turns out that being a wizard is the right way." Lin Li stretched lazily, feeling emotional.
Although there was no specific data, Lin Li could feel that he had become much healthier in just two days.
For example, I used to have a little pseudomyopia in my left eye, but in the past two days, I have not had blurry vision anymore.
Spiritual energy is a really good thing. This is just the effect of two days. It is a must-have for the extraordinary. It’s a pity that there is only one spirit stone left.
Why isn't there one in modern times?
Come on and clean up the pornography. After clearing out the three strongholds of the Hehuan monsters, you can give yourself five more and enjoy the happiness of Yikuntian again.
"Let's go, Grandpa Zhou." He said hello to Xiao Zhou, the fixed NPC who was still peeping at him as usual.
He probably didn't have much luck in stealing skills these past two days, and he looked more and more depressed.
……
classroom.
"According to unofficial historical records, Zhuge Liang's empty city was to end Sima Yi's losing streak." Bai Bufan is still busy with the Three Kingdoms.
"This is Kong Ming's most outrageous episode."
Lin Li came in to put the food on the table, then said to Bai Bufan, "The mushroom buns you bought have gone up by fifty cents. Now they're two dollars each. You bought two, so I paid one dollar more. But we're brothers after all, so there's no point in haggling over a few dollars. So just assume that you owe me ten dollars."
Bai Bufan frowned and scratched his head. He found that things were not simple and he always felt that something was wrong.
"I have no money, so I won't give it to you."
"No money? I'll pay for the steamed buns. Give me your phone." Lin Li said with a smile as he unwrapped the breakfast portions and placed them on the table for others to take.
"Where did these two hundred thousand come from?" Bai Bufan cooperated very quickly.
"There's not 200,000 yuan, only 1,000 yuan, which you borrowed from Huabei."
"Wait, if it's Huabei, my credit limit is exactly 2,000."
"That thousand is my handling fee."
"You know real estate agents." Bai Bufan raised his middle finger and took a bite of a mushroom bun. "The prices are inflating really fast. This place is still a small one, but the prices are catching up with those in big cities."
"How can inflation not be fast?" Lin Li nodded in agreement. "Does Mbappe know? When searching for French supercars, it's not the cars that come up, but him. He can earn tens of millions of euros a year. You have to know that more than a hundred years ago, his entire person was only worth a few dozen dollars at most. That's only a few dollars a year. The speed of inflation is too scary."
“I don’t agree with this. More than a hundred years ago, they were given a hundred draws when they landed. Maybe they could get something valuable and turn the tide.” Bai Bufan shook his head.
"You have a point."
Lin Li pinched his chin and thought for a while, then nodded.
An excellent person will admit that he does not think enough. There is always a teacher among three people. In this regard, I really need to learn more from Bai Bufan.
"Lin Li, which one is mine?" Chen Yuying's voice came from behind.
"Squad leader? I was just about to give it to you when you came over. Here, this is yours." Lin Li turned his head and saw Chen Yuying. After being slightly surprised, he handed her breakfast to her. The task was not triggered. Eh, could it be that the triggering condition was a money transaction, and I accidentally cancelled it? Would it not be triggered later?
While Lin Li was thinking about it, Chen Yuying took over the breakfast and did not leave. She took out a handful of various candies from her school uniform pocket and placed them on Lin Li's desk:
"If you don't want to take my money, then take this handful of candy. You also said that studying has made you lack sugar recently. I also like to eat candy. I have a lot of it in the dormitory, so I can give you a lot."
Lin Li blinked and asked cautiously: "Squad Leader, what if I am willing to take your money again?"
I did swear not to charge the monitor a penny, but now I plan to charge him five or even ten dollars.
Chen Yuying: “?”
"It was just a joke, thank you for the candy, monitor. I won't hesitate to give you these." Lin Li smiled and waved his hand, putting the candy into his drawer.
Forget it, there is no need. The premise of money transaction is just my guess, not a definite condition.
Although Chen Yuying would definitely not mind continuing to give him money after he proposed it, Lin Li felt that he was more Bai Bufan than Bai Bufan if she really went back on her word.
Even if I want to test this condition, even if I find out that it is a necessary condition, I will still choose to use other methods in the future.
"Well, if there is any candy that tastes good or bad, you can tell me then and I can adjust it." Chen Yuying nodded, then turned slightly and said, "Then I'll go back first. Let's talk again at noon?"
"Okay, let's talk about it at noon."
Chen Yuying left and returned to her seat.
Bai Bufan and Zhou Baowei, who had just pretended to be dead without saying a word or making any sound, now came back to life and immediately locked their eyes on Lin Li.
Bai Bufan cleared his throat, showed off his orchid finger, and began to act pretentiously: "Which kind of candy is delicious~~ or not delicious~~ You can tell me when the time comes~~ I can adjust~~"
Zhou Baowei followed up: "Then I'll go back first~~Let's talk at noon~~"
The essence of human beings is a repeater, and the essence of anthropomorphic animals is a weird version of a repeater.
Lin Li, who didn’t have a system before, was somewhat shy, but now he could face the teasing looks from the two people calmly and even had time to give them a middle finger in return.
Upon discovering the thief, Lin Li immediately slapped away Bai Bufan's hand that was reaching towards his drawer.
"This is not shared among brothers. The squad leader means to send it to you every day. There is no need for you to treat it as a treasure and not let me touch it, right? I'll just eat one piece!" Bai Bufan was filled with indignation.
Facing Bai Bufan's resentful gaze, Lin Li shook his head, his tone simple and sincere: "It's not that I don't want to give it to you, but dogs really can't eat chocolate. Come on, be good, eat this fructose, you can eat this."
Lin Li placed a piece of fruit-flavored hard candy on Bai Bufan's palm with a pure smile.
Bai Bufan: “?”
He stared at the fructose in his hand for a while, his brain was racing, he thought of swearing for a long time, and finally said in a sullen voice: "Fuck you, thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Grass."
After Bai Bufan uttered this word again, he turned back and continued to eat his mushroom bun.
An excellent person will admit his shortcomings in being disgusting to others. There is always a teacher among three people. In this regard, I really need to learn more from Lin Li.
"Turtle, what's going on?" Zhou Baowei was puzzled. "Last semester, Lin Li, you helped the class monitor bring breakfast a few times, right? You two were still 'strangers', so how come your progress has been so fast this semester and your relationship has become so good?
The monitor is also confused. He likes you? I don’t understand. Why doesn’t he like me? I am so handsome. "
Zhou Baowei sighed deeply, his tone expressing his hatred for the boy's lack of fighting spirit.
Lin Li and Bai Bufan looked at Zhou Baowei at the same time.
Some things are unbearable.
"Do you want to go first or should I go first?" Bai Bufan asked without turning back.
"You go first." Lin Li replied. The master always has to appear last.
"OK, Baowei, I agree with you that the monitor is blind, but who gave you the courage to say something like 'Why don't I like you'?
There are no mirrors in the dormitory, but we have urine. You look like a QR code. You don’t know what it is unless you scan it. Why are you so confident to say you are handsome? "
Bai Bufan nodded towards Lin Li, indicating that Lin Li could speak now.
Lin Li's words were simple. He looked at Zhou Baowei and said concisely: "The doctor took a long time to draw your blood and found that it was lard."
Upon hearing this, Bai Bufan immediately slapped his thigh in regret.
There is no doubt that he lost this round of humiliating Zhou Baowei competition.
"Lin Li, tell me, if I had just scolded you, 'Baowei, do you usually snatch food from other brothers in the pen?', would that have been more aggressive?" He turned his head and asked without shame.
"Not bad, this is better than the previous QR code." Lin Li nodded after thinking about it.
"What if it mutates a bit more..."
Looking at the two people who had begun to seriously analyze how to use scientific research to humiliate him in the most aggressive way, Zhou Baowei remained silent.
What they said was so hurtful.
I'm going to make a scene.
Then let me ask you. Then let me ask you.
In fact, Zhou Baowei was not fat to this extent. He could even be called strong, with a BMI just above the normal range. Unfortunately, he made friends carelessly, and had too good a relationship with Lin Li and Bai Bufan, so his shortcomings were infinitely magnified, and his life was over.
"Hey, um, brothers, can you interrupt for a moment?" Zhou Baowei raised his hand to ask the beastly couple to stop their research. Then he analyzed seriously, "I think sometimes brothers can also encourage each other. After all, I have a low self-esteem. I suggest that you should praise me more."
Facing Zhou Baowei's sincere eyes, Lin Li smiled:
"Baowei, if you want to be praised, wear a wig, put on lipstick, and post on Xiaohongshu, and someone will praise you immediately.
Wow, sister, you have a great body. Don’t listen to what others say. How can you be fat? You are just a little bit plump now. You will be stunning if you dress up a little bit.”
Bai Bufan also laughed:
"Baowei, Lin Li and I came from Tieba, you should understand that when we see someone like you, we can only say something like a genuine big fat pig."
Xiaohongshu is like this. A few years ago, when there were basically no men using Xiaohongshu, the comments under those photo posts that Lin Li thought were beautiful were somewhat disgusting. Sometimes, the malice was even greater than that of the men below.
Remember one of the Bibles of Tieba:
When an ugly pig evaluates another ugly pig, it will not be stingy with its praise, because it knows that even if it praises the ugly pig to the extreme, it is still a pig in essence, and it is of the same kind as the ugly pig, so praising it is also a disguised way of praising itself.
When an ugly pig evaluates a beautiful pig, the ugly pig will emphasize the shortcomings of the beautiful pig, while secretly setting the beautiful pig as its goal in its heart, longing to become a beautiful pig one day.
But when a pig evaluates a peacock, it knows that it and the peacock do not even belong to the same species and that it can never become a peacock, so it will speak harshly and hysterically, and always hope that bad luck will come to the peacock.
now.
The old guys on the forum, Lin Li and Bai Bufan, looked at each other sincerely.
Zhou Bao had no desire to live.
"I'm broken, I'm angry, I'm going to COS a 1.8-meter-tall sunny doll at your doorstep."
Bai Bufan: "You are not even 1.8 meters tall. You are not even as tall as me."
Zhou Baowei was stunned for a moment, then he started to fight with a roar: "Fuck!!! You two are beasts in terms of height, I will never be friends with you again!"
As for why Zhou Baowei was so insulting.
Being in the last row, we are naturally not short.
Bai Bufan is already 15cm tall at the age of 181, but he has always claimed to be only 178cm tall. Lin Li once asked him why, and he said that this would embarrass those who said they were 180cm tall.
Hearing this reason, Lin Li was astonished.
genius.
From then on, Lin Li, who lived and learned, always claimed to others that he was only 186 cm tall, even though he was 183 cm tall.
Asking for a monthly ticket.
(End of this chapter)