Chapter 324 I may need to pay you to read this chapter
Chapter 324 I may need to pay you to read this chapter (ask for monthly ticket)
Human beings are always selfish. There are many examples. For example, people like to look at the growth organs of plants and exclaim, "How beautiful and fragrant!" But they hide their own and don't let others see yours.
Too selfish.
Today I corrected Chen Tianming's wrong mentality.
It's another day to be a good person and do good deeds. To the other brothers who will confess their love tomorrow, do you feel the power of my wishes for you?
After cheering Chen Tianming again, Lin Li rode his bike back to the downstairs of the community.
As soon as I got off the car and pushed open the iron gate of the community and walked in, I saw Zhang Fang chasing a child with a bamboo pole, gritting her teeth as she chased:
"Xiaobo, stop right there!"
Xiaobo is obviously the child's name.
When Lin Li was a child, he was often chased and beaten by Wu Min like this.
Because he knew very well how miserable it would be if he was caught, Lin Li resolutely stepped forward and decided to help - he stopped the child.
Hehehe, childhood cannot be incomplete.
"Grandma, what's wrong? Why are you so angry?" Lin Li asked with a smile after Zhang Fang caught up with him.
"We were dancing in the square. When the music was about to start, my grandson took a bamboo pole and went to the leader, raised it up, and shouted to us, 'Children, start practicing!'"
He's making fun of us! He's made me lose face!"
"I am the Monkey King! Let me go! I am the Monkey King! Let me go!" The child struggled at this time, trying to escape from Lin Li's clutches.
Lin Li: “(；☉_☉)?”
Oh my god, this kid might really be Monkey King.
No wonder Zhang Fang was so angry.
In fact, it’s not that offensive to other people who dance square dance, they just find it fun.
But when Zhang Fang meets her friends in the future, she might greet them by asking "How is your Monkey King grandson?"
It's too embarrassing.
Lin Li bent down and asked softly, "Little friend, let me test you. Do you know how many fairy girlfriends Sun Wukong has?"
The Monkey King frowned upon hearing this, raised his head and looked at Lin Li with disdain: "Adaptation is not making up stories, and drama is not nonsense. When I see a female goblin, I will hit her with a stick. That's why I don't have a goblin girlfriend!"
Wo Ri, the Tian Gang is reversed.
Lin Li was amused. It seemed that this guy was still the Sigma Monkey King.
"What if the prettiest girl in the class is a fairy?" Lin Li asked again.
"Then you can have a fairy girlfriend." The Monkey King nodded and followed suit.
"Not bad!" Lin Li gave a thumbs up.
Zhang Fang: “?”
After saying goodbye to Zhang Fang, Lin Li randomly found a restaurant to eat.
Behind him, the Monkey King was being spanked on the buttocks by his grandmother with the golden cudgel.
Lin Li ate while browsing his phone.
A message pops up.
"Bai Bufan: The feeling of being investigated is quite painful at first. If the other party speeds up, it becomes a bit numb, and you can feel something in your stomach pushing out.
The pain gets worse and worse, the kind of severe pain that comes with muscle atrophy and makes you not want to move. You will also feel your stomach is very bloated as if it was run over by a truck, and even your pupils will become unfocused and you will see double, but you are still alive and can move.
Wang Ze told me that his throat would still hurt when he woke up the next day, and his body would only hurt more. If someone rubbed it, it would be healed in a day or half a day, but his legs would feel a little uncomfortable when he walked.
Lin Li, would you like to massage me tomorrow? Or help me walk?"
Lin Li: (;☉_☉)?
What b text came into my sight?
"Lin Li:?"
"Lin Li: Bai Bufan, do you dare to read these words? You are really scary, you know that?"
"Bai Bufan: I input it by voice."
"Lin Li:?"
"Lin Li: I'm sorry, I underestimated you."
"Bai Bufan: I'm so stupid. Really, I shouldn't have come out alone with Wang Ze. Sigh, I gave him advice out of kindness, but he turned his kindness into hatred and kicked me out."
Lin Li chuckled and saw through the essence at a glance.
"Lin Li: Don't let yourself get away with it. Tell me, what evil suggestion did you make?"
……
"Hey, Bufan, I suddenly thought of a question," Wang Ze frowned, put down the bouquet in his hand and looked at Bai Bufan.
"what happened?"
Because Wang Ze said that he had a sensitive nose, Bai Bufan, who was sniffing to choose which flower was the most fragrant, looked up and asked.
"I'm not going to confess my feelings as soon as we meet...so after I buy the flowers, where should I put them so that I can take them out at the right time?" Wang Ze frowned.
"Should I carry a bag tomorrow? But if the flowers are broken or wilted, they will be ruined, and will be easily discovered..."
Bai Bufan thought about it, hesitated for a while and said: "I think I have a way to meet your requirements. Hide the flowers and take them out at the right time."
"I knew it would be okay to bring you, a spotted dog. You have a lot of ideas. Tell me." There is strength in numbers, and dogs eat shit faster. Wang Ze showed his anticipation.
“But there’s a price to pay, neither of these two kinds of flowers will work,” Bai Bufan shook his head and pointed at the flowers in Wang Ze’s hand.
The rose in the left hand means passionate love, and the pink tulip in the right hand means eternal love.
"Then what should I give as a gift?" Wang Ze asked puzzledly.
Bai Bufan: "Enoki mushrooms."
Wang Ze: “?”
Bai Bufan knew that Wang Ze didn't understand, so he immediately explained:
The flower language of Flammulina enoki is "I want to see you tomorrow too". In terms of flower language, it is not inferior to the two kinds in your hands.
But Enoki mushrooms can do what they can't do. Wang Ze, as long as you eat a lot of Enoki mushrooms tonight, you can hide it in your stomach, and the senior sister will definitely not be able to find it tomorrow.
And when you need it, you can take it out at any time.
I have arranged all the little fun things for you.
For example, after confessing your love, you say, "Baby, I prepared flowers for you."
At this time, the senior sister will definitely be surprised and cover her mouth with both hands, and you will immediately turn around and stick your butt out towards Senior Sister Qian.
At that time, you deliberately kept quiet for a few seconds, then turned around and smiled evilly: "Baby, you don't think I'm a man who wants to give you a chrysanthemum, do you?"
"No way! Haha, you must be kidding! My butt is just the wrapping paper of the flower."
"Watch out baby, your romantic surprise is coming~"
"At this time, as soon as you take off your pants——"
Instantly, Bai Bufan’s expression became twisted, and he made a nasal sound: “Uh uh uh uh uh uh——!!”
"Wang Ze, I don't need to say more about what's going on, right? Just do your best and leave the rest to fate!
Oh my god, ahhh~ I feel like crying just thinking about the scene, this is too touching and romantic, who can refuse such a confession~~"
Bai Bufan became more and more excited as he spoke, and became more and more immersed in his art. He closed his eyes, a smile on his lips, and no longer knew what the world was.
Wang Ze: “(⊙▃⊙)?”
Wang Ze's expression was stiff and his mouth was wide open.
good chance.
The flower shop owner, who was a customer next to him, looked pale as he looked down at the gardening knife he was using to trim the bouquet, hesitating whether to stab his own ear or Bai Bufan.
Being able to say such words means you are very close to God, purely God.
"Whatever you say," seeing Wang Ze in a daze, Bai Bufan patted his shoulder heavily and asked for credit, "It meets your requirements perfectly, right? You can use it whenever you want, it's definitely a surprise."
Wang Ze came back to his senses.
He smiled with relief, and it seemed like that.
Turning around and giving an apologetic look to the flower shop owner, Wang Ze pulled Bai Bufan outside.
"Bufan, I feel a nameless fire in my stomach, and I want to do something right now."
"Elbow, follow me into the alley."
……
"Bai Bufan: That's it. I made suggestions with good intentions, but not only did he not adopt them, he even used violence against me. I can only say that Wang Ze is a pure, super-masculine athlete, which fits my stereotype of an athlete."
Lin Li: "..."
After listening to this, Lin Li felt as if he was a little dead.
"Bai Bufan: Lin Li, why don't you speak?"
"Lin Li: When I was reading your message just now, my phone fell to the ground. When the police saw it, they came over and took me away. They said I had violated national territory, you know."
「Lin Li: "Pictures"」
"Lin Li: Bai Bufan, you grass-fed horse, I'm eating and there are f*cking enoki mushrooms in my dish!"
"Lin Li: If you want to be a good dog, you just need to be obedient. There's no need to share your red stone with everyone!"
"Bai Bufan: What a coincidence? Are you eating enoki mushrooms?"
"Bai Bufan: Then I must share a little story of mine with you."
"Bai Bufan: Recalling the first time I ate enoki mushrooms when I was a child, I had no idea that it would come out from the back door. That time, I suddenly had to go to the toilet in the middle of the night. As soon as I squatted down, I defecated a large lump of urine like a dam releasing a flood. Behind it, there was a piece of beef stuck in the hole. I pulled it out with all my strength, but I still felt an invisible force hanging on the beef. I panicked. I didn't dare to think about what I had pulled out. I thought I didn't poop cleanly, but no matter how hard I tried, it was useless. I shook my butt to try to brush it off, and suddenly the beef was brought by my body. It moved and shook and hit my butt. I felt a chill sweeping through my body, as if I was in the depths of winter. I knew it was over, there must be something else in my butt, so I took a few pieces of paper to wrap the beef cubes and pulled them down. Suddenly, my butt tightened and something was really pulled out. I looked closely and it turned out to be an enoki mushroom. I shivered, wiped my butt, and threw the sinful paper ball into the trash can. I secretly swore in my heart that I would never eat enoki mushrooms again. I pulled up my pants and walked weakly back to the room, and went back to bed and fell asleep again in humiliation. "
Lin Li: “(；☉_☉)?”
Sometimes, because you read too fast, by the time you realize what you have read, it is already too late.
"Haha, haha, ha." Lin Li laughed angrily.
"Lin Li: Thinking back to my childhood..."
"Wang Ze:?"
"The other party is typing..."
"Lin Li: Don't be impatient."
"Lin Li: This was sent to me by Bai Bufan. I am also a victim. Now, I will use my chance to order you to fuck him again. Thank you."
Wang Ze promised to meet Lin Li’s ten small requests at the sports meet.
"Wang Ze: Okay, but there is no need to waste the opportunity. This is what I should do."
"call--"
After seeing this news, Lin Li breathed a sigh of relief. He felt much better now.
He lowered his head and looked at the plate in front of him. "..."
"Fuck you, Enoki mushrooms!"
Lin Li decided to open a restaurant that serves inexpensive and high-quality enoki mushrooms. The only requirement is that customers must use the restroom in the restaurant before leaving.
……
Carry the packed food upstairs.
Lin Li prepared to go to the world of immortal cultivation.
The plan tonight was to spend a few minutes in reality to visit the world of immortal cultivation, and then go to the driving school to practice driving for a few hours - anyway, he only needed to park on the side of the road, and it would not interfere with Lin Li's other work.
If there is enough time, I will go to the market to check out the situation.
Although it has been less than two days since the last time I went to the world of immortal cultivation, if I complete the tasks that pop up in this chemistry class earlier, I can study the new skills that are rewarded earlier.
Ready, white light flashes.
Lightning arcs flashed, it seemed that Taoist Shanqing was still in a bad mood.
The old man is sitting in a computer chair at this moment:
"Bufan, help me open and play the pornographic film on my phone."
"Woof, sorry, the current operation does not comply with the laws and regulations. I cannot assist you."
"Haha, according to Article 1032 of the Civil Code, 'Natural persons enjoy the right to privacy'. This phone is neither connected to the Internet nor supervised by a third party. According to Article 6 of the Personal Information Protection Law, 'the minimum necessary principle', you have no right to interfere.
I am the master of my phone. You are the one who violates the law! Now, help me! "
"Woof woof, sorry, this operation is restricted according to the device terms of use and local content management agreement."
"Damn it!! Why is it still not working!"
Lin Li: “(；☉_☉)?”
What got into your ears?
Taoist Shanqing shook his head and sighed. This cell phone spirit was really stupid and didn't know how to adapt at all.
Or do I know too little about the laws of this world?
Forget it, let’s play games and continue playing Dark Souls.
Wait a moment.
Taoist Shanqing was stunned.
When I shook my head just now, did I see Lin Li out of the corner of my eye?
Taoist Shanqing turned his head suddenly and looked at Lin Li.
"Hi, haha, Grandpa~" Lin Li was even more guilty than Taoist Shanqing, and raised his hand stiffly to greet him.
Taoist Shanqing looked up at Lin Li, then looked down at Bufan who was still waiting for his instructions, his expression stiff.
"Lin Li, when did you come?" After a long silence, the old man cautiously tested.
"I just got here. I didn't hear anything. I have no idea what you were talking about with Bufan." Lin Li answered firmly.
The old man breathed a sigh of relief.
In the silence between the two of them——
"Woof woof, 111, the topic I just talked about with Shanqing is that due to legal restrictions, I cannot help Shanqing complete the command to search for pornographic content on this computer."
A mechanical smart voice with fake emotions came out of the phone.
Taoist Shanqing, Lin Li: "..."
The two of them were dumbfounded.
Lin Li is even more stupid.
Your mother.
I almost forgot that I have used this phone before and it has recorded my voice and can listen to my commands.
As for "111", it is the 'nickname' required when recording multiple voiceprints on a mobile phone. Lin Li did not write his own name, but randomly entered a few numbers "11". Shanqing Taoist is just "Shanqing".
"..."
Oh my god!!
Even if you didn't hear anything just now, you can hear it now.
Originally, both of them were ready to pretend that they didn't know about this matter, but this bastard revealed everything!
Bufan, this is the third time you have disgusted yourself today. Just wait for me tomorrow.
Lin Li pursed his lips and thought about how to end it next, but the next second, he saw Taoist Shanqing coming to his side and reaching out to touch the back of his head.
The speed was too fast and I couldn't react in time.
"Eh?" Taoist Shanqing asked in confusion.
Lin Li took a step back at this time, slightly alert: "...Grandpa, what's wrong?"
Taoist Shanqing looked at his fingers for a while, then raised his head and asked curiously:
"Lin Li, do you have any powerful magic weapon? I wanted to make you unconscious just now, but I found that it had almost no effect. My attack on your spiritual consciousness was almost completely eliminated."
Lin Li raised his eyebrows.
Although I don't have any magic weapon, I do have this ability.
[Soul Wall: All attacks or manipulation attempts against your spiritual consciousness or soul will be blocked by 99%.]
When I first got it, I thought it was a passive ability that was completely useless in reality.
It did play a role at this time.
"I don't have any magic weapon, but I have a magical power that can offset most attacks against my consciousness and soul."
There was nothing to hide from Taoist Shanqing, so Lin Li told the truth.
Lin Li believed that Taoist Shanqing had no ill will towards him just now, he was just simply "anxious".
I just put myself in his shoes. I was watching porn in the bedroom when my adult grandson suddenly broke in.
Lin Li felt that he could live without a grandson.
But Lin Li is indeed curious about one question now:
"Grandpa Shanqing, under this kind of defense, can you still do anything to my spiritual sense?"
"Of course, even I can do it now," Taoist Shanqing nodded immediately, "You can only offset most of it, so I will continue to increase the power of the magic."
"Lin Li, if you were a cultivator of the same realm as me or not much different from me, I am indeed not proficient in the spiritual realm and may not be able to do anything to you, but you are only at the fifth level of Qi Condensation now. No matter how strong you are, you are only at the Qi Condensation level.
You didn't feel anything just now, but that was because the level I used was very low, and I didn't intend to really hurt you."
Lin Li nodded.
He completely believed what Taoist Shanqing said.
It's very simple. Your health value is 10 and your defense value is 99%. If you want to kill yourself in one blow, you only need to attack more than 1000.
The gap between people in the world of immortal cultivation is even greater than the gap between oneself and the extraordinary.
A normal attack from a powerful person who has crossed the tribulation barrier can normally deal damage of 100,000, let alone 1,000.
"Lin Li, do you want to try?" Taoist Shanqing's eyes were bright and he was eager to try.
"What effect can spiritual attack spells achieve?" Lin Li asked instead of answering.
“Then there are many, depending on the technique, there are soul searching, memory tampering, cognition, control…” Taoist Shanqing replied.
Lin Li immediately looked at the system.
This description made Lin Li feel a little scared.
The "Jade-faced Buddha" can protect himself from death, but what if the other party only wants to control himself and has no intention of killing him?
[You have used the Ability Amplifier (+1) on "Soul Wall". "Soul Wall" has been upgraded to "Soul Wall (+1)"]
[Soul Wall (+1): All attacks or manipulation attempts against your consciousness or soul will be blocked by 100%, and you will automatically counterattack with 50% of the power of the attack to the target.]
The last "Ability Amplifier (+1)" in the [Warehouse] was used.
But the result made Lin Li very satisfied.
It's enough to be 100% immune.
Although Taoist Shanqing had no ill will towards him, and although Taoist Shanqing also said that he could not see clearly or understand himself.
The system may avoid this from happening.
But Lin Li would not bet on this possibility.
What if one day the remnant soul of the demon in this forbidden land quietly escapes, drills into my brain, and turns me into a puppet that can only cry for my mother?
Lin Li felt it was worth it to use a prop to exchange for his spiritual "invincibility".
"Grandpa, you can try, but you may need to be careful now, because my ability will automatically counterattack." Lin Li looked at Shanqing Taoist.
“Then I will give it a try.” Taoist Shan Qing raised his eyebrows upon hearing this and reached out to Lin Li: “Don’t worry, I will be careful.”
Touch.
Lin Li felt nothing, just like last time.
After a few seconds, the old man withdrew his hand in surprise.
“He really knows how to fight back.”
The old man was completely unharmed. After all, the power of his spell was based on Lin Li's strength, and the counterattack part was indeed insignificant for his level of spiritual awareness.
"How did you achieve such a change in such a short period of time?" the old man was curious.
"I paid a small price for it. I'm worried that the remaining souls of the demons will come out one day..." Lin Li explained with a smile.
Taoist Shanqing nodded, but couldn't help but sighed: "Your magical power is rare in this life. Even the son of the Heavenly Dao has never been given such a gift."
But then Taoist Shanqing fell silent.
How can we make this child lose his memory now that his soul can no longer move?
Ah~ Got it.
Lin Li: "?"
Lin Li looked at the object that the spiritual energy had just formed in Taoist Shanqing's hands in disbelief:
"Grandpa, what is the mace in your hand..."
-
At the beginning of the month, I’m asking for monthly votes. Also, I’ve been recommended on the big cover, but why is the cover that Qidian made for me so ugly? Damn it.
(End of this chapter)