Chapter 564 is the Abalone Brush
Chapter 564 is the Abalone Brush
A group of people took action at the same time and suppressed Zhizunbao.
The rest of the people picked up sticks, moved bricks, and even maces and meteor hammers.
The second in command shouted, "This is all for the boss's injury to heal quickly! I will take the blame if anything goes wrong."
"I'm going to kill you, you pig-head, you're in trouble, I'm going to castrate you!"
The sound of ping-pong balls and a beating ignited the atmosphere of the day.
Tan Wenjie: "It's not convenient for me to listen to the Axe Gang's affairs, so I'll take my leave now."
He doesn't get scared by blood, but as a god, he will feel phantom pain when he sees a man being hit by Bakugan.
……
The Spider Demon and the White Bone Demon closed the door and sat on either side of the room.
The atmosphere was not as harmonious as expected.
The scene just now showed the deep love between the sisters, but now the situation is tense.
"Sister, I didn't expect that you still like to eat alone. Tang Seng is very big, why don't we share it?" Bai Jingjing stroked her hair gently.
"Bitch, do you really think you can deal with me by finding a helper?" Chun Sanshi Niang snorted coldly.
"Don't get me wrong, there's nothing going on between Young Master Tan and me." Bai Jingjing said, "I thought he was a pretty boy and wanted to take him down, but I didn't expect him to not even look at me. I didn't expect that he was thinking about you, Senior Sister."
Upon hearing this, Chun Sanshi Niang's anger instantly subsided by half, and the corners of her mouth even wanted to curl up a little. She felt secretly happy that she could suppress the bitch in front of her.
"Senior sister, don't blame me for not telling you. The more handsome a man is, the more likely he is to lie. Be careful that he will take advantage of you."
Bai Jingjing seemed to be giving earnest advice, but in fact she was just staring at Chun Sanshi Niang's little expression for fun.
After her rigorous observation and careful verification, she was finally able to confirm one thing: Chun Sanshi Niang was still a monster without lofty ideals who only wanted to eat Tang Monk's flesh. It was too demanding of her to be moved by Chun Xin.
Chun Sanshi Niang also looked down on Bai Jingjing. What's the good of falling in love? She would never do such boring things in her life. It was hard and tiring enough for her to practice as a spider spirit, but because of her talent, her master and other reasons, she was still a little monster.
Now that there is a shortcut to immortality, she would be stupid not to take it. As for what will happen after taking it... After achieving immortality, she will have plenty of time to think about what to do in the future.
Chun Sanshi Niang snorted: "You were eaten up by a monkey, and you still come to teach me a lesson?"
"That's why I came to settle accounts with the reincarnation of that stinky monkey."
"It turns out you still can't forget him, you loser."
"Take care of yourself first."
Bitch! X2
……
Even though they were unhappy, the Axe Gang still had to go out on the road the next day to rob the soles of people's feet, looking for people with three moles on their feet.
Bai Jingjing is most concerned about this matter, because it is said that the person with three moles under the feet is the reincarnation of Sun Wukong. Unlike the spider spirit who wants to find Tang Sanzang based on the reincarnation of Sun Wukong, she only wants to find the monkey.
Love-brain is very scary, especially female fairies are the most likely to fall into it.
By the way, he could also annoy his senior sister and stick with Tan Wenjie, killing two birds with one stone.
"Why would you come to me to rob someone?" Tan Wenjie didn't understand. "I'm very busy."
Bai Jingjing asked back: "Busy making barbecue ingredients at home?"
"It's a healing elixir!" Tan Wenjie emphasized, "I just added some meat floss, peanuts, cooked sesame seeds and peach cakes to make it taste better. Good medicine tastes bitter, but as someone who wants to become a top alchemist, I want to surpass ordinary alchemists in other ways and make everyone fall in love with taking medicine."
Bai Jingjing opened her mouth slightly: "..."
"Then why are you grilling?"
"Put the meat into your mouth and swallow it. This is the medicine."
Bai Jingjing: "..."
Never mind, this guy might not be in his right mind.
There are too many abnormal monsters, and there are even more that are covered in human skin but do nothing like human beings.
Time passes slowly.
She suddenly nudged Tan Wenjie with her elbow and said, "Hey, why does the leader of the Axe Gang keep looking at me in such a mean way? Look, look, he's looking at me again. It's so disgusting."
Zhizunbao turned his head, raised his eyebrows at Bai Jingjing, and then turned back.
Tan Wenjie: "He was hit by the Seven Wounds Fist and has some problems with his eyes."
"Really? His cross-eyes seem to have healed." Bai Jingjing was reluctant to believe it. "He looked at me again, and his expression was very obscene!"
"Ahhh, he's looking over here again. What should I do? Can I kill him?"
"..."
"Robbery! Don't move!" The Axe Gang in the distance had already started a new round of robbery.
Tan Wenjie fanned himself with a palm-leaf fan and said in surprise, "This place is deserted. Is there really anyone coming here?"
Not only were there people coming, but they also looked like a wealthy family.
The second in command raised his axe and shouted, "Take off your shoes, rob the soles of your feet!"
"Huh?"*N
The whole family who were robbed thought they had heard it wrong.
But after the Axe Gang emphasized it many times, they had to take off their shoes and expose the soles of their feet.
"Hmm?" Zhizunbao and the second in command stopped in front of a woman at the same time.
The second in command looked the other person up and down with his eyes squinting, and snorted with a strange smile: "Your chest is bulging. To prevent fraud, I want to check if you have anything hidden in your chest."
Zhizunbao was surprised: "So shameless?"
"For safety."
"That's right. Safety is the most important thing in our line of work."
The woman trembled and nodded: "Yes."
The second in command said again: "In case of fraud, you have to take off your lower body as well."
The woman was ashamed and angry: "You guys!"
When she saw the axes in the hands of the two perverts, she chose to surrender again.
The woman grabbed her skirt with both hands and was about to squat down to take it off, but she suddenly stopped and said: "I will commit suicide after I take it off."
Two people: (⊙V⊙)^⊙)
Not only Zhizunbao and the second in command, but the others who were robbing the soles of the feet also dropped their work and gathered together, forming three layers inside and three layers outside.
The woman emphasized again: "I will commit suicide after I take off my clothes, and even after I become a ghost, I will not let you go."
The second in command picked his nose and said, "Take it off, stop talking so much nonsense."
In the distance, Bai Jingjing: "..."
Just as she was about to turn around and complain to Tan Wenjie, she found that Tan Wenjie also opened his eyes wide.
"what are you doing?"
"Condemn them, for they kill with their eyes."
"How is it possible that someone can kill with their eyes."
These men are all birds of a feather.
A strong wind blew and the Axe Gang members' eyes were blinded by the yellow sand.
The group of people who were robbed on the soles of their feet in the distance escaped because they were facing away from the wind. They seized the opportunity and quickly ran away.
Bai Jingjing turned and looked at Tan Wenjie.
She was certain that the wind just now was abnormal, and she was 70% sure that it was the wind brought by the man in front of her.
He has such powerful abilities that he can even stir up flying sand and rocks. I'm afraid I'm no match for him. The first obstacle for me to get Tang Monk's flesh is him. Maybe I really have to cooperate with my senior sister. However... she doesn't want Tang Monk's flesh at all. What she wants is that stinky monkey.
It's just right to see two people fighting with each other.
In the evening, the Axe Gang gathered together again.
The mute dropped the axe in his hand and quickly formed seals with his hands... using sign language.
The blind man nearby acted as a sign language interpreter: "We can't do this job! We are bandits and robbers. It's embarrassing to go out and rob people!"
"Is this what the mute meant?" The second in command expressed his doubt.
"Of course that's what I mean!" The blind man pointed at his own eyes, "I'm blind, how could I be wrong!"
Everyone: "..."
Not a shred of credibility.
"By the way, where's the gang leader?"
The blind man replied, "It seems the gang leader has gone to look for the handsome guy named Tan."
"Blind man, you called me handsome when you peeked at me taking a bath before, and now you call someone else handsome. Tell me, have you peeked at him taking a bath? Speak!" The second in command put his forehead against the blind man's, put his hands on his hips and shouted loudly, suppressing the other party with his momentum.
"Hey, stop talking nonsense, Second Master. I'm not interested in those with delicate skin and tender flesh. I prefer a fat body like you who is sexy."
"Leave far away."
A man's mouth, a liar.
The second in command cleared his throat and said, "I will go find the gang leader and will definitely solve this matter. Don't worry!"
Everyone was surprised. They didn't expect that the second in command would take the initiative to stand up at the critical moment.
It was not until the other person left that the mute suddenly started making gestures.
"What did the blind and dumb say?"
"He asked me if the sun rose in the west today."
……
Tan Wenjie really doesn't understand these people's aesthetic tastes.
In his opinion, the Spider Demon is prettier than the White Bone Demon, or maybe the image of the dual-bladed turkey left too deep an impression on him.
As a classic character, Twin-Blade Turkey is definitely a powerful representative of inner beauty. Unfortunately, he is rather superficial and only has a passing interest.
After exploring the beauty of the physical body, he lost interest and had no energy to explore the beauty of the soul because the next physical beauty came along.
Of course, he was so determined to choose Chun Sanshi Niang not because she would take off her clothes to show off her beauty at any time, nor because her legs were straight and long. He was not a lustful person, he just liked peach blossoms very much, and there happened to be a peach blossom on Chun Sanshi Niang's shoulder.
People who share common interests will definitely have more to talk about.
But he couldn’t understand why both Ma Junwu and Zhizunbao were unable to walk after seeing the White Bone Demon. Is this the charm of the “heroine”?
He was having a barbecue outdoors and complaining about the bad atmosphere due to the cloudy weather, but he didn't expect that Zhizunbao would come to him on his own initiative.
It’s different when there are melons to eat. The weather is bad but my appetite is good.
Zhizunbao asked again and again: "Are you really not interested in Miss Jingjing?"
As the most handsome man within hundreds of miles, Zhizunbao is definitely not afraid of Tan Wenjie's appearance. Everyone around him knows his nickname of Jade-faced Flying Dragon.
The reason why he came to ask this question was just because he was worried that Tan Wenjie would see that he had used his handsome looks to steal his love and would be so angry that he would plot against him.
"Realer than real gold."
"Actually, there is something I want to tell you." Zhizunbao shyly reached out to grab the skewers on Tan Wenjie's grill, but was slapped away.
"Do you like Bai Jingjing?"
Zhizunbao was shocked: "How did you know!"
Tan Wenjie, like a seasoned pick-up artist who has seen through the mundane world, said in a calm tone, "I am known as the Love Saint!"
During the day, Zhizunbao blatantly sent disgusting glances to Bai Jingjing in dozens of ways. Even if he hadn't seen the movie, he knew what Zhizunbao was thinking.
"Love-Saint-?" Zhizunbao widened his eyes.
He felt as if he was struck by a bolt of lightning. He recalled that the murderous Chun Sanshi Niang looked at Tan Wenjie differently, and he also remembered that Bai Jingjing had always been talking to Tan Wenjie.
I thought to myself: I knew there was something wrong with this guy. He looks so much worse than me, but he can actually win the favor of two girls. It's totally unfair!
Now the case has been solved, it turns out the person was a technical expert.
If you are ugly and want to pick up girls, you can only rely on skills. Unfortunately, I was born with a handsome face, so most of the time, women throw themselves at me. I have never enjoyed the hardships of actively pursuing women, let alone experience the joy of it.
Zhizunbao said: "I felt that I had launched a strong pursuit of Miss Jingjing, but I didn't expect that after one day, I still failed."
What he meant by the whole day pursuit was sneaking around, blinking, and staring at others in an almost perverted way.
He didn't forget to secretly take advantage of the "female customers" while robbing them. It would be strange if he could pick up girls.
"Why, do you want to learn how to pick up girls?" asked Tan Wenjie.
Zhizunbao nodded vigorously: "Master, teach me!"
“Failure is the mother of success. Do you want to know who is the father of success?”
"You wouldn't say you are the father of success."
"Give me the money and I'll tell you."
Zhizunbao hesitated, but when he thought of the two women giggling around Tan Wenjie, he gritted his teeth and decided to take out his savings.
He unbuckled his belt, reached in, grabbed something and pulled out a bunch of copper coins tied with a black rope.
"This is what I saved from my frugal life over the years."
"Fuck, where do you hide your money, boss?"
“I have a wallet sewn into my underwear.”
"What is this curly hair?"
"My beard."
"Depend on."
"You haven't mentioned the father of success yet."
Tan Wenjie shook the money and said, "You have successfully paid."
"Damn it!" Zhizunbao watched Tan Wenjie put the money into his pocket and reached out to take it back, but the gap in fighting power between the two sides was too big, so it was doomed to be a futile effort.
Tan Wenjie raised his hand and patted Zhizunbao on the shoulder: "You see, failure and payment are a pair, so you will never win a woman's heart by spending money. I am teaching you a lesson. Do you just want to get her body?"
Zhizunbao simply nodded: "I want to!"
What does he want her heart for? He doesn't eat people.
Tan Wenjie shook his head: "Superficial! Getting a woman's heart is more fulfilling than getting her body."
Unexpectedly, Zhizunbao had the same idea as himself. For the sake of the female fairies in the world, he decided to do such hard work himself.
The body can be used again after washing, but if the heart falls in love with someone, even the time for dreaming will be taken away. He doesn't like to exploit others.
Zhizunbao asked tentatively: "If I say I don't want her heart, will you return the money to me?"
"of course not."
Zhizunbao briefly compared the strength of both sides in his mind.
Between getting a beating and pursuing a woman's heart, he chooses... to exclude getting a beating.
"Then I want to win her heart, Master, is there any way to make Miss Jingjing notice me?"
"I knew that you, the boss, had great ambitions." Tan Wenjie nodded with satisfaction.
Children can be taught.
He doesn't care whether he makes money or not, but the sense of accomplishment from successfully fooling Zhizunbao is incomparable to money.
"Speak quickly."
"This has to do with the atmosphere of the chat, the rhythm of the chat, and the chat..."
"what?"
"Look at the face."
"I'm such a cool guy, it's easy to pick her up."
"Having a dick and looking like a dick are two different things, boss." Tan Wenjie said after thinking for a while, "It's too late to help you train in picking up girls now. I'll teach you a trick that will definitely work."
Zhizunbao: "Really?"
Tan Wenjie leaned close to his ear and said, "Do this, this, that, that, and finally just kiss her. As long as you kiss her, it's a success. Do you understand?"
After listening to Tan Wenjie's teachings, Zhizunbao hesitated: "This looks like he deserves a beating."
I was already shameless enough, but after listening to Tan Wenjie's method, I still felt very shameless.
"Don't worry, I won't do that. I promise you my life."
"Then I feel relieved." Zhizunbao left in a hurry.
The second in command who happened to come over was puzzled: "Huh? What's the matter? I heard you mentioned me just now."
"Nothing. The gang leader said that if he can't handle Miss Bai, he will handle you."
The second in command leaned back: "Ah?——"
Tan Wenjie sat under the wooden shed, drinking and eating skewers, with barbecue dipping sauce and grilled skewers, while using his clairvoyance and super hearing to broadcast the live broadcast.
Considering his own happiness in the second half of his life, and in order to save himself from having to wash hundreds or thousands of pants when he gets old, the second in command can only hope that his gang leader can be successful in picking up girls.
Even if it means sacrificing a blind man's life, it is worth it.
But he thought about the honor of his gang leader and the other party's appalling skills in picking up girls, which made him very dangerous.
"You must help me, hero!"
There was a real Buddha in front of him that he could worship. In order to be able to do something useful in the future, the second in command knelt down and kowtowed for help.
Just look at Tan Wenjie's face and you can tell that he must have rich emotional experience. Even if he doesn't pick up girls, those women will still come to him like crazy.
The prerequisite for falling in love is always appearance. As long as you look good, everything else is just additional conditions.
Tan Wenjie said, "Why don't you help Miss Bai deal with the gang leader?"
It’s not about getting Bai Jingjing but about getting Zhizunbao.
With the IQ of these good-for-nothings, they would definitely be fooled by Bai Jingjing.
But if you think about it from another perspective, it would be much easier to deal with Zhizunbao. The Axe Gang, starting from the second-in-command, can come up with various tricks every day to deal with their leader.
It's a familiar process and there is no difficulty.
The second in command seemed to have just woken up from his dream: "Can it be like this?"
Tan Wenjie glanced at the roasted leeks that the second in command had slipped into his hands at some point.
You underestimated him. His hands-on ability far exceeds that of Zhizunbao.
……
Night sky, yellow mud house.
"Miss Jingjing, what a coincidence that you are outside too." Zhizunbao greeted with a smile.
Bai Jingjing was puzzled: "Didn't you, the gang leader, teach me how to do this?"
"Is it me? Hahaha." After his signature awkward laugh, Zhizunbao nodded, "Actually, I came to see you, Miss Jingjing, because I have something to say to you."
"please say."
"This, that..." Zhizunbao turned around and saw the second in command approaching stealthily.
Not only the second in command, but also the blind man and others refreshed at fixed points, and people gathered in three layers inside and outside to watch the show from a distance.
These bastards!
Wouldn't it be very embarrassing if I failed to pick up girls? I would need to figure out a way to exit in a graceful way.
"Boss?" Bai Jingjing asked when she saw that he hadn't said anything.
Zhizunbao had no choice but to control his expression to avoid being exposed by using too much force. At the same time, he made up his mind that after this matter was over, he would definitely beat the second in command into a pig's head.
No, that guy is a pig-head. It’s better to just chop off his pig-head.
"The moonlight is so beautiful, Miss Bai."
Bai Jingjing: "It's cloudy tonight, so we can't see the moon."
"Well, it's like this." Zhizunbao was a little embarrassed. He scratched the back of his head, touched his nose, and then smiled evilly, "I know you are interested in me."
Bai Jingjing: "..."
She knew that the leader of the Axe Gang was mentally ill.
In the distance, the blind man asked in confusion: "Second Master, why are you crying?"
The second in command said with red eyes: "I have known for a long time that the leader has ill intentions towards me." He must have done this to deliberately fail in picking up girls. The goal was obvious, it was definitely a punishment for failure. When the second in command thought about being punished, his eyes could not help but turn red.
After all, the gang leader was one step ahead. He always thought that only the blind man coveted his body.
The blind man was puzzled: "Is there?"
"Don't you just stare at my ass and say that!"
With his cock clamped in front and back, he felt dangerous everywhere.
No, we can't just sit there and wait for death!
Zhizunbao was trying to use pie chart to launch an electric eye attack on Bai Jingjing and then take the opportunity to kiss her, but suddenly he found a familiar figure approaching.
The second in command mouthed: Boss, let me help you.
Worthy of being the second in command!
Thinking of the agreement he had made with Tan Wenjie, Zhizunbao sneered. This bastard would only do his job properly when his life was at stake.
However, as the second smartest idiot in the entire Wuyue Mountain, he can only trust the second in command.
"What's wrong?" Bai Jingjing wanted to turn her head.
"and many more!"
Zhizunbao reached out to stop Bai Jingjing.
The moment his eyes met the other person's, he heard a voice in his heart: Now, kiss her!
Although the wind seemed a bit strong, it lifted up Miss Jingjing's bangs, causing her eyes to squint uncontrollably and her facial features to become distorted.
Although there was no moon, she looked a little dark.
Although……
However, the moment their eyes met, that was their chance.
The time, place and people are favorable.
Kiss her!
Close your eyes, give her a romantic deep kiss, and use the perfect tongue you have cultivated from eating snails to show her how powerful you are.
Bai Jingjing was puzzled: "?"
Looking at the face getting closer and closer to her, she clenched her fist and was about to strike, but was gently poked on the shoulder by a finger.
When I turned around, I saw the second in command approaching. He took a deep breath, pointed at himself and signaled Bai Jingjing to step back.
After Bai Jingjing did as she said, the Second in Command looked determined and took the initiative to move forward and bite Zhizunbao's lips.
Bai Jingjing opened her eyes wide and watched this eye-catching scene from close range.
Others: “!!”
Tan Wenjie: “Hiss——”
The spider spirit in the room: "Wow!"
The second in command retreated at the first touch.
"Ok?"
Zhizunbao opened his eyes and caught a glimpse of Second in Command giving a thumbs-up.
Get it done.
He raised his hand to wipe the saliva from the corner of his mouth, then reached into his mouth and dug out a leek: "Miss Bai, what did you kiss me with just now?"
Bai Jingjing: "Just now it was..."
Zhizunbao: "I know, it's an abalone brush."
The second in command opened his eyes wide: (⊙_⊙)!
Bai Jingjing: "..."
……
In front of Tan Wenjie's room.
"Love Saint!" Zhizunbao clasped his hands together, "Please accept my humble respect."
"Why do you say that, leader?" Tan Wenjie was surprised.
He was just kissed by the second in command, he shouldn't go insane.
"To be honest, although I am handsome and have an extraordinary temperament, I have been a chaste man since I was young. In the face of temptation, I have always remained a chaste man and have never been touched by any flower."
"Ok?"
"In short, virgin."
"Oh."
"You're laughing at me?"
"No, I was born with smiling lips. There's nothing I can do about it. Boss, you won't discriminate against a disabled person who can't control his facial expressions, right?"
"Of course I won't."
Zhizunbao hesitated. He has always treated all "customers" equally and would not even let go of people without legs when robbing their feet.
Thinking about the bible for picking up girls that he got from Tan Wenjie and the results he had already achieved, Zhizunbao felt it necessary to endure the humiliation.
With his handsome looks and Tan Wenjie's technical skills, the sum of one is greater than two. The female heroes in the martial arts world will find it difficult to escape his clutches.
The more Zhizunbao thought about it, the happier he became, and finally he couldn't help laughing out loud.
Tan Wenjie at the side: “?”
He couldn't understand why the other person suddenly started to giggle. He might be slightly mentally retarded, because 99% of the Axe Gang members had low IQs, which made Supreme Treasure seem more normal.
"What should I do next?" Zhizunbao woke up and asked, "Do you want me to shave my beard?"
"it's not good."
"You think my beard is stylish too?"
"That's not the case. I was thinking that if you didn't have a beard to cover up your ugliness and stood with me, Bai Jingjing would not choose you unless she was blind."
"Fuck, you're just jealous that Miss Jingjing kissed me."
Tan Wenjie: “…”
"My beard has obscured my extraordinary beauty. Do you have a knife? I want to shave it so you can see how dashing I am."
"After shaving, you will look like a monkey."
"Fuck, it's only when you have hair on your face that you look like a monkey, okay?"
Zhizunbao shaves very quickly.
He also trimmed his eyebrows. Tan Wenjie suspected that before he became a bandit and robbed people, he was most likely working in the beauty and hairdressing industry.
knock knock.
There was a knock on the door.
Bai Jingjing's voice came from outside the door: "Mr. Tan, are you asleep?"
A woman went to ask a man late at night if he had slept.
Swish!
Zhizunbao's eyes shot eye darts at Tan Wenjie. If eyes could really kill people, he would definitely kill the other person without hesitation.
It was said before that there was no relationship between them.
As Tan Wenjie opened the door, he asked, "What do you want to talk to me about?"
"Yes, I want to talk to you about cooperation. My sister..." Bai Jingjing was about to speak when she suddenly saw a figure hiding in Tan Wenjie's room. She said in surprise, "Hey, boss, you are here too."
"Yes, Miss Jingjing, long time no see."
"Haven't we just met? Why do you have your back to me?"
"I'll turn around right away."
Zhizunbao turned around gracefully and struck a pose that he thought was handsome. Although he still believed in his heart that Tan Wenjie's presence would only make him look more handsome, he still obediently moved his legs to the side to distance himself from Tan Wenjie.
We are not on the same level.
Bai Jingjing's expression suddenly changed: "Stinky monkey!"
Zhizunbao: "What? Me?"
Do I really look like a monkey after shaving my beard?
"Stinky monkey, you finally came."
"Miss Jingjing, you've got the wrong person. I'm Zhizunbao, I just shaved my beard." Zhizunbao gestured, covering the lower half of his face with his hands, "Zhizunbao."
At the same time, he turned to look at Tan Wenjie, hoping to get help, but he didn't expect that Tan Wenjie was eating a piece of watermelon that he got from somewhere.
However, after a burst of rage, Bai Jingjing turned around and left.
"I, I..." Zhizunbao turned to look at Tan Wenjie, "Master, save me."
He is truly a love saint. This time he was really convinced that he could even guess this.
"I told you not to shave. You look a lot like her ex-boyfriend."
"Her ex-boyfriend is so handsome? He must have a bad personality and poor ability, so he is just a gigolo, which is why the two of them parted ways."
"On the contrary, her ex-boyfriend is very capable and famous, and his only shortcoming is that he is ugly."
"Damn, then why do you say you look like me? Apart from your abilities and fame, how else are you like me?" Zhizunbao touched his smooth face.
Everyone in Wuyue Mountain knows that he makes a living by his looks and is known as the most handsome man in the Axe Gang.
Tan Wenjie: "Don't believe me? I'll introduce you to each other when I have the chance."
Zhizunbao thought for a long time and asked carefully: "Then am I still saved, Master?"
"Probably not for now, but if you're willing to pretend to be her ex-boyfriend, maybe..."
"One kiss and one free sleep?" Zhizunbao became excited.
"No, you can let her kill you to vent her anger. Her ex-boyfriend is very strong and she can't beat him." Tan Wenjie said, "It just so happens that you sacrifice yourself for love. Maybe she will occasionally dream about you in the future. It's worth it."
"It's not like you're going to die, so of course you say it's worth it."
After complaining, Zhizunbao turned and left.
Rather than worrying about those fancy things, he should go back and think about how to grow his beard back.
Tan Wenjie closed the door and prepared to lie back on the bed to rest.
Even gods need to sleep.
"Are you asleep?" Chun Sanshi Niang's voice came from outside the door.
Tan Wenjie: “…”
Are these people doing nothing every day but breaking into other people's rooms? Be careful or they might leave with a big belly.
"Chun Sanshi Niang, why aren't you asleep so late?" Tan Wenjie waved his hand and opened the door.
Looking at Chun Sanshi Niang, who was dressed lightly in gauze and walked in with her white and smooth legs, I secretly said that she was worthy of being a spider spirit, with legs longer than her life.
It is said that spider spirits are best at spraying spider silk from their belly buttons. Coming from another place, I have not seen much and was a little curious about how they spray.
"Are you looking for the reincarnation of Sun Wukong?" Chun Sanshi Niang went straight to the point.
Tan Wenjie said decisively: "I don't want to."
No one is very familiar with what he is looking for Sun Wukong for.
Chun Sanshi Niang asked again: "Do you want to eat Tang Monk's flesh?"
Tan Wenjie: “I don’t want to either.”
He was not sure whether eating a bite of Tang Monk's meat would grant him immortality, but he thought it would be okay to wait for the Peach Banquet and get a couple of golden elixirs to prolong his life.
There are many ways to achieve immortality, and that’s the benefit of having a system.
The benefits are high and the treatment is good, and you don’t have to take risks like the monsters in the underworld.
Chun Sanshi Niang: “…”
I don't want this or that, so why come to this godforsaken place?
"We can cooperate. My junior sister Bai Jingjing has a mental problem because of that stinky monkey. If you help me get Tang Seng, I can promise you one thing."
Tan Wenjie: “…”
How should I put it? Tang Seng was indeed born in this remote place, but he was destined to be the child of Chun Sanshi Niang.
It is not difficult to help her get Tang Seng, as long as you are brave and willing to sacrifice.
He has suffered losses too many times. As the saying goes, suffering losses is a blessing, but this loss turned out to be a blessing in disguise, so he could barely accept it.
"Really anything?"
"whatever!"
"Okay." Tan Wenjie stood up and grabbed his belt and said, "Take off your clothes. We are in a hurry."
"You! What do you want to do!" Chun Sanshi Niang was shocked.
"Help you get Tang Sanzang."
"Too deceiving!"
Demonic energy burst out of her body and the roof was almost broken. The previous fight was just a test. She didn't believe that the gap between them would be that big.
The five fingers of his right hand clenched into a claw and went straight to Tan Wenjie's throat.
He quickly reached out and grabbed Chun Sanshi Niang's wrist, curling his fingertips inward and easily restraining her with sheer force.
Although Chun Sanshi Niang is a spider spirit, her physical flexibility is not inferior to that of a snake demon. She raised her right leg like a whip and stabbed it towards Tan Wenjie's eyebrows.
Tan Wenjie grabbed it again.
"Spiders have eight legs. Let's see how you can defend against them!" Chun Sanshi Niang snorted coldly.
Two long, smooth legs emerged from under her skirt.
People with leg control may not be able to walk after seeing this.
However, the next moment, multiple arms grew out from behind Tan Wenjie, easily blocking Chun Sanshi Niang's multiple leg attacks.
Tan Wenjie: “I have a lot of hands, too.”
"Knock knock." There was another knock on the door.
The fight between the two men stopped instantly and they withdrew their magical powers.
Tan Wenjie: “Who?”
"It's me, Master." The door opened and Zhizunbao came in uninvited and very impolitely, "It's like this, I think..."
Zhizunbao's eyes suddenly widened.
Chun Sanshi Niang was seen with one leg raised high above her head, and it looked like she was being held on Tan Wenjie's shoulder, with the other hand clasped together.
The smooth long legs reflected white light under the candlelight.
Hiss, there is an affair!
"Ah, the moon is so round tonight. I seem to have gone to the wrong place. Sorry." Zhizunbao stepped back expressionlessly.
After closing the door, he turned his back to the door and clenched his right fist into his palm.
"Great!"
He is indeed a technical lover.
After a while, Chun Sanshi Niang came out, sorting out her clothes, and said in a cold voice, "Don't go out and talk nonsense."
"Don't worry, Chun Sanshi Niang, I'm definitely not that kind of person, hehe." Zhizunbao quickly said that he kept his mouth shut and it would definitely not grow anywhere.
After Chun Sanshi Niang walked away, Zhizunbao pushed open the door with a sly smile.
"Master, I hope I didn't disturb you."
"It hasn't started yet, otherwise a day and a night would be considered short."
You are the master, you have the final say.
Zhizunbao did not expose the other party's obvious lie, but approached Tan Wenjie: "Master, what should I do now?"
"What do you mean?"
"Miss Jingjing seems to have a prejudice against me."
"Not before?"
"Of course not. Although we haven't spoken to each other many times, I can feel that she has a good impression of me."
"Your feelings are wrong. She likes you more now."
"why?"
"Because you look like her ex-boyfriend."
It’s the ex-boyfriend again!
"..."
The two of them stared at each other for a while, and Zhizunbao asked, "How should I continue to seduce her?"
"It depends on whether you want to pick her up or have sex with her."
"What about sex? To be honest, I have always had a fear of making choices since I was a child, so I want to have it all."
"You're so greedy!" Tan Wenjie said, "It's easy to seduce her. You just need to pretend to be Sun Wukong and say sweet words to her. You can easily win her over if you are a love-brained person. But you may get killed afterwards."
With Zhizunbao's current mortal body, Pao's fate is most likely to be sucked dry by the corpse demon.
A special species like the White Bone Demon looks like a skeleton soldier and a zombie, but it happens to be a monster and has a very high demand for popularity and vitality.
With a body size like that of the Second In Command, he could easily suck dozens of them at once.
Zhizunbao asked, "Where is the bubble?"
Tan Wenjie rolled his eyes and said, "I've already told you, just pretend to be Sun Wukong and say sweet words to her. It's easy to win over someone like her who is so love-minded."
No wonder he is doing so badly, being played around by the second in command, the blind man and others.
"Isn't that the same procedure as shooting her?"
"You can put more emotion into the foreplay, say something romantic, like holding a sword to your neck and telling her that you can die for her, and add a sentence, I want to say three words to a girl, if you add a time limit to these three words, I hope it will be ten thousand years."
Zhizunbao: "How shameless!"
"I think it's shameless too." Tan Wenjie nodded, agreeing with him.
"I will never use this trick." Zhizunbao said firmly, and then asked, "Is there a simpler one? Think about it, nowadays, when you buy something like a pack of paper or a pair of pants, there is a trial period. Why don't you have a trial period when you fall in love or marry a wife? I'm worried that my judgment is affected by her appearance, so I want to try it out for one night first."
After saying that, he emphasized: "The kind that won't kill people."
"You're just a whore, aren't you?"
“I don’t give money.”
Tan Wenjie nodded: "There is a way."
"For example?" Zhizunbao asked humbly.
Tan Wenjie took out a small bottle and said, "For example, this one contains Yin Yang He Huan San, which is a must-have item designated by Fairy Yu Xiao of the Tianlong Gang for people who want to roam the Jianghu and dominate men and women. Once you touch this thing, you will become horny and will kiss your target crazily. If you can't vent your emotions, you will die."
"So poisonous?" Zhizunbao stuffed the bottle into his pocket, "Are there any others?"
Talking about feelings really isn't suitable for me. This kind of straight-to-the-point approach is more suitable.
"Then it must be this one. The legendary 'Silver is not romantic in vain, young man Silver Sword, grandmother, lewd father-in-law, lewd pipa and trumpet' is inferior to this holy medicine. I love a piece of firewood."
When he took out the bottle of medicine he had casually prepared, Tan Wenjie had a sudden feeling. He had taken the medicine from Wei Xiaobao at the beginning, but he had not expected that after going around in circles, it would return to the hands of Zhizunbao, one of Wei Xiaobao's polyhedrons.
"I pick up girls with my handsome face, and never resort to dirty tricks." Zhizunbao took the medicine from him, "Don't look at me, I'm just responsible for helping you manage it, so that you don't hurt others or yourself. I'm a very upright person. By the way, where are your boy, your lecherous father-in-law, and your trumpet? Hand them all over and I'll help you destroy them!"
Tan Wenjie nodded. This young man is teachable. To have such a shameless bastard with a dirty heart and no bottom line in the wolf friend circle really means that there is no bright future for him.
Zhizunbao asked: "Can they be mixed together?"
Tan Wenjie: "I haven't tried it. You can go back and find someone to try it."
The scene changes, and Zhizunbao leaves and quickly finds his own guinea pig for drug testing.
The second in command looked at the bottles and cans in front of him and said, "Ah? Boss, you want me to eat these?"
(End of this chapter)