Chapter 575 Don’t be afraid, I’m the one who’s afraid first!
Chapter 575 Don’t be afraid, I’m the one who’s afraid first!
The sudden wind from the sky blew the monsters into pieces.
The heavenly peacekeeping force led by Erlang Shen entered the scene.
"Dong dong dong."
Beat the drum.
"Boom."
Lei Gong and Dian Mu jumped among the clouds, bringing up silver threads and lightning.
"Your Majesty?" Zhizunbao turned around in time to find someone to protect him.
It looks like the gods have come to cause trouble. Leave the gods' affairs to the gods to solve. He is just a handsome passerby.
But he turned his head and said, "Huh?"
I didn’t even see Tan Wenjie.
I searched the darkness for a long time before I could barely find him.
"Hey, what a coincidence, Supreme Treasure."
"Fuck, don't come over here and pretend to meet by chance!"
"I heard that you have become the king of Niuwang Village. Congratulations, it's a cause for celebration."
"Damn it, you're still pretending not to hear me. And I'm the second king, and I named myself that."
"You are the Great King now. I gave you the title." Tan Wenjie patted Zhizunbao on the shoulder, then raised his head and cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted, "Sun Wukong is here. He just said that if he dared to cause trouble in Heaven once, he would dare to do it again. Come on, come on, come on, if you are brave enough!"
Zhizunbao: “…”
Let’s not complain about the other things first, why do you have to pretend to shout out an echo?
Above the clouds in the distance, the gods who were charging towards them with great momentum paused.
"Didn't they say Sun Wukong is dead?"
"Yeah, I heard that he was killed by the more powerful male and female evil spirits from Niuwang Village with a slingshot." Someone else whispered, "I heard that it was the same crescent slingshot as Erlang Shen."
"It seems that Erlang Shen's slingshot can only shoot birds, it's just average."
"Shh, keep your voice down, Three Eyes is the most careful."
Erlangshen: "..."
His eyes were shining between his eyebrows as he took in the situation over there.
Zhu Bajie, Monk Sha, and Sun Wukong transformed into human form.
A big iron pot, Tang Sanzang, and a mountain of little monsters lined up behind.
I don’t know if Tang Sanzang’s body can handle it.
As for Fairy Zixia and Tan Wenjie, they are both immortals. Immortals have their own internal processing channels. The most important thing now is to subdue demons and monsters, otherwise the fact that he and the Four Heavenly Kings were scared away by Sun Wukong will damage his reputation.
"You guys!" Erlang Shen turned to look at the heavenly soldiers who had just whispered, "Be the vanguard and capture Sun Wukong!"
"Huh? Us?"
"That's right, we must not tarnish the reputation of the gods!"
It is said that he, Erlang Shen, is the most cunning person. He must use actual actions to prove to the outside world that those are all true. However, after today, no one will dare to say so anymore.
The dejected heavenly soldiers and generals flew towards Niuwangzhai, but stayed outside Niuwangzhai's sphere of influence very obediently.
"Someone is coming to challenge us, who's going?"
Zhizunbao: "Damn it, who kicked me!"
He took several steps forward suddenly, stopped and turned around, only to see Tan Wenjie whistling and Zhu Bajie counting his toes.
These two bastards!
"Oh no, Sun Wukong is coming to kill us!"
The immortal in heaven turned around and ran, and because he ran so fast, he lost one of his boots.
As one of the few representatives of the Monkey King category who is vicious and naughty by nature, Monkey King in A Chinese Odyssey has the ability to make gods pee their pants and can kill people at will.
Zhizunbao scratched his head.
Sun Wukong's reputation is so useful.
“Hahahaha!” He laughed with his hands on his hips, then raised his right hand and pointed at the soldiers in the sky, “I, the Supreme...Sun Wukong, am waiting for you here. Come over if you’re brave enough.”
Above the clouds, Erlang Shen narrowed his three eyes at the same time.
"What an arrogant monkey!"
He paused the three-pointed, two-edged sword in his hand, kicked it lightly with his right foot, raised the sword and said, "I'll go meet him!"
Just as he was about to move forward, Erlang Shen was bumped into by a figure.
"Thunder God, step aside, why are you jumping around!"
Fighting is fighting, dancing is dancing, why bother with all that fancy stuff?
On the ground of Niuwang Village, Zhizunbao saw a human figure rushing down through the thunderclouds.
In his hand was a three-pointed, double-edged sword, wrapped in a layer of moonlight.
Moreover, as he ran faster, the friction between the blade and the air produced a rising green smoke, and the powerful force pulled the wind, making a buzzing sound like the flapping of bee wings.
Zhizunbao's nose twitched slightly, as if he smelled the scent of the air being burned. The ground beneath his feet began to break into pieces, and his hair fluttered uncontrollably.
The body felt like it was falling into an icy cave.
As Erlang Shen got closer, Zhizunbao felt his throat filled with blood.
He choked and blood came out of his nose.
Zhizunbao forced out a disdainful smile: "That's it? Sanyanzi, you didn't eat."
He is the leader of the Axe Gang, the only contracting partner of the Wuyue Mountain tourist attractions, and the second king of Niuwangzhai. If he doesn't say a few harsh words now, he will have no chance of survival in the future.
The little demons in Niuwangzhai seemed to be walking on the streets of Pattaya, with hot young ladies on both sides of the road. The irresistible strong pulling feeling made their bodies uncontrollable and made them make all kinds of indecent postures.
"What a smell, so horny."
"I hope no one will piss their pants because of the shock."
The second king, Sun Wukong, was still holding on in the front, and the king was even eating grapes. Although the opponent was surrounded by gods, I had the advantage.
The little demons still have the mind to make jokes.
Zhizunbao looked up at the figure falling as fast as a meteor. He couldn't even open his mouth to beg for mercy as his body was frozen in place.
Just as the sharp murderous aura turned into an icy sword and tried to pierce his body, a figure walked out.
Tang Sanzang put his hands together and golden light quickly gathered on his body.
As he walked forward step by step, the golden light on his body illuminated the night like the sun, able to poke a big hole in the thunderclouds in the sky, and then quickly condensed to form a Buddha shadow.
It was like a huge bell that completely enveloped Tang Sanzang.
Tan Wenjie watched the scene in front of him with a serious expression.
This scene looked somewhat familiar. If he was not mistaken, the flashy figure glittering with golden light should be Tathagata Buddha, who was easy to recognize with the scar on his head.
He turned his head and looked back, and saw Patriarch Bodhi was still dozing off in the dungeon.
Zero points for acting.
Because it goes against common sense. Everyone knows that gods don’t need to sleep at all. Besides, it’s so lively outside. Any normal person or normal god would definitely come out to watch the fun instead of sleeping.
In front, Tang Sanzang still kept his hands clasped together.
Looking at Erlang Shen who was about to rush towards him.
"There is a misunderstanding here. Can you listen to what I have to say? Although Wukong's character is a little bit naughty..."
"Ah——!!" Erlang Shen avoided Tang Sanzang and refused to listen to his nonsense.
Seeing this, Tang Sanzang had no choice but to raise his right hand.
The golden light expanded instantly, and the surging Buddha's light submerged Erlang Shen's figure. At that moment, Erlang Shen felt like he was a small boat, swaying in the golden light.
When the light faded, a figure appeared on the ground with his butt sticking up and his head stuck in the ground. Since we couldn't see the third eye, we couldn't be 100% sure that this was Erlang Shen.
The fragments of Erlang Shen's cloak flew away with the wind and happily returned to the top of the thundercloud.
Lei Gong and Dian Mu, who were still jumping, stopped. The heavenly soldiers and generals were silent, their eyes following the fragments of the cloak flying farther away.
"Amitabha, although the monsters in Niuwangzhai are ugly, have bad tempers, and are unhygienic and like to urinate and defecate everywhere and litter everywhere, I see the Buddha nature and the yearning for a better life in them." Tang Sanzang continued to chatter on and on.
In a world where even the sounds of thunder and wind disappeared, the sound of his voice became unusually clear.
The little demons: "..."
For some reason, they didn't feel the slightest joy at being praised, only complete dissatisfaction.
If Tang Sanzang wasn't shining with golden light as if he had activated cheating skills, they would have definitely turned against him on the spot.
"Let's join this charity event together to make the monsters in the world more kind, and society will be more stable. They don't really want to create chaos, it's just that no one teaches them."
When Tang Sanzang tried to persuade the heavenly soldiers and generals with his true feelings, a deity who was sticking his butt up on the ground and looked like Erlang Shen said in a muffled voice: "Tang Sanzang, you want to associate with demons and become enemies with the gods?"
"Don't get me wrong, I just want everyone to live in harmony."
Suddenly, a big hole appeared in the sky, as if a golden palm huge enough to cover the sky and the sun fell from the sky, surrounded by dragons.
Strong winds and air currents disturbed the clouds on which the gods were standing.
"Hiss——" Tan Wenjie looked up, this, this, this is not right!
This version of Tang Sanzang can’t be the Chen Xuanzang who likes to fall in love. You have come to the wrong set.
When the Buddha's palm fell, it rubbed against the surrounding air and ignited flames.
The huge golden Buddha's palm that covered the sky and the sun completely enveloped Niuwang Village and the heavenly soldiers and generals in the sky.
It was like killing an ant with a slap, not caring whether there were one or two under the palm.
A bull demon was trembling all over. He had just made a bold statement that he would kill Tang Sanzang, but he didn't expect that he would be slapped to death as soon as he turned around.
The toad spirit next to him said: "Don't be afraid, I was the one who was afraid first!"
"Who peed in my pants, wuwuwu."
"You admit now that these are your pants?"
The scene was a mess.
But when the huge Buddha's palm was about to knock the heavenly soldiers and generals to the ground, everything disappeared like a dream.
Only the sound of "Amitabha" by Tang Sanzang remained between heaven and earth.
And when they looked up, they seemed to be able to catch a glimpse of the starry sky through the clouds broken by the golden Buddha's palm, and in the starry sky there was a huge Buddha's eye staring at them.
Under those eyes, everyone is just a tiny speck of dust.
Tan Wenjie was unhappy: "Fuck, you are the one pretending, why should I pretend?"
I really didn't expect that after gathering the forces of the demon world and the heavenly world, the Buddha would be able to act so powerful.
Even a fool could see who was backing Tang Sanzang. The gods in the sky automatically retreated, and the monsters on the ground also got up and pulled at their pants that were sticking to their buttocks.
Everything was resolved satisfactorily.
Including those who did not want a satisfactory solution and were therefore solved.
The moon hangs alone in the sky.
Tang Sanzang and his disciples have packed their bags and are ready to set off. In the past, they needed Sun Wukong's protection on their journey to the West, but now Tang Sanzang can use the Tathagata Palm anytime and anywhere, so it doesn't matter whether Zhizunbao can turn into a monkey to join the battle.
Everything can be put aside and let Tang Sanzang take over.
"You won't stay a little longer?"
Tan Wenjie tried to keep him warmly.
"Amitabha, thank you for your kindness, Immortal. Obtaining the scriptures is the most important thing, so I dare not stay for long."
Tang Sanzang also liked the life here, as it allowed him to talk as much as he wanted.
Zhizunbao turned around and looked at Tan Wenjie with resentment.
It has been said long ago that he is not Sun Wukong, although he looks exactly like that monkey and still looks like a monkey when using a magic mirror, and all the gods and monsters in the world think he is, but he is really not.
"Goku, it's time to get going."
Tang Sanzang raised his right hand, surrounded by Buddha's light and a dragon's shadow.
"Here I come!" Shrinking his neck, Zhizunbao quickly followed.
Palm-sized is really amazing.
Since he couldn't become the second monster king and Bai Jingjing didn't recognize him, becoming a god seemed like a good idea.
"Big Brother, why don't you change back?"
"How many times have I told you that I am not Sun Wukong!"
"Big Brother likes to transform into a human. I support you, Big Brother. It's much cooler than turning into a monkey."
The four masters and apprentices set out again and gradually disappeared from Tan Wenjie's sight.
Tan Wenjie: "Did they go the wrong way?"
If he was not mistaken, Tang Sanzang and his companions were heading east.
After a while, the four masters and apprentices came back again.
Everyone looked at each other awkwardly and pretended nothing had happened. Those who needed to hurry continued on their way, and those who needed to whistle and appreciate the moon continued to appreciate the moon.
……
"Thank you for the recommendation, Your Majesty."
The Spider Spirit and the White Bone Spirit thanked Tan Wenjie, and they successfully became disciples of the Fairy Qingxia.
"It's just because you are good-looking." Tan Wenjie waved his hands, indicating that it had nothing to do with him.
However, when the two female monsters took the initiative to want to become his disciples, he introduced them to Fairy Qingxia.
Until now, Tan Wenjie has no plan to accept any apprentices.
In the next few days, Tan Wenjie lived a leisurely life, reorganizing the surrounding monster forces and expanding outward with Niuwangzhai as the main base.
The market was built in three days.
A human caravan happened to pass by, and under the forced restraint of Tan Wenjie, the little demons completed this business communication very friendly.
Gold, silver and jewelry are nothing to monsters, but meat, grain, steel, etc. are what monsters lack.
Under the pressure of powerful forces, both sides traded fairly and a good atmosphere was created in a short period of time.
The merchant even said before leaving that he would come back in a few days and would bring back the resources that Niuwangzhai needed.
As long as the profit is enough, no one will care whether it is trading with humans or monsters.
"What are you sighing about?"
Fairy Qingxia raised her hand and waved it in front of Tan Wenjie.
"Ugh!"
Tan Wenjie opened the account book and pointed at the contents on it: "Now we have built 103 houses, and the bull demon and horse demon have worked together to reclaim 3,000 acres of farmland. The most terrible thing is that Tang Sanzang slapped us last time, and scared the Heavenly Court into not refusing to withhold rainwater. The weather has been good recently, and I'm afraid we will have a good harvest by then."
Fairy Qingxia: “?”
She didn't quite understand.
"There's more." Tan Wenjie continued, "Look at the contribution system I set up earlier. It gives the little demons something to do. They are no longer idle and only think about eating people. They have a lot of brute force but nowhere to use it. If they put it all into infrastructure construction, it won't be long before they actually come into contact with the nearby human society."
"So?" Fairy Qingxia asked humbly.
"So, if things continue like this, I will most likely unify the world."
With goblins as the basic troop type, no natural enemies to restrain them, and harmonious relations between nearby forces, this is no different from shamelessly opening a custom mode when playing Warcraft: Frozen Throne.
Fairy Qingxia: “…”
She shouldn't have asked that question, and gave him another chance to show off.
As a person who really wants to drink lamp oil, if the other party takes the initiative, he will definitely choose to accept it passively.
Tang Seng knew that he should hide in places where there were many female monsters, so it was normal that he could not accept the temptation of beauty, but Fairy Qingxia always kept in mind what happened to her sister and kept pulling and tugging.
Especially in recent times, Fairy Qingxia has been concentrating on teaching the White Bone Demon and the Spider Demon, and training her trumpet, and sometimes even comes to Tan Wenjie to take classes.
It was night again, and the pilgrims were resting by the roadside.
The Supreme Treasure, who curled up into a ball and hugged himself for warmth, dreamed of a person in his sleep. It was Bai Jingjing, who hugged his cheek and kept biting it.
"Blow big boobs~"
"Ok?"
When Zhizunbao opened his eyes, a huge pig's head appeared in front of him, and his face was covered with sticky saliva.
"Depend on!"
He has tolerated this pighead for a long time.
A punch hit the pig's head.
"Ah——!" Zhu Bajie opened his eyes and asked aggrievedly, "Big Brother, why did you hit me?"
"I hit you!"
Zhizunbao stood up and walked back and forth.
I absolutely cannot continue to sit there and wait for death, I must escape quickly, but unfortunately the Moonlight Box is still in the hands of that bastard Tan Wenjie, otherwise...
"Hmm?" Zhizunbao suddenly realized something was wrong.
The very familiar Water Curtain Cave appeared in front of me, with the chirping sounds of monkeys. I went into the Water Curtain Cave and saw a cave.
There is a portrait of Guanyin Bodhisattva hanging on the wall and a golden hoop on the table.
"Looks familiar."
He remembered that Tan Wenjie often gave this thing to other little demons.
Turning back, I saw a huge golden stick lying across the cave.
"Avalokitesvara, you don't want me to wear this thing and turn into a monkey, do you?"
If this is what it means, Guanyin Bodhisattva must be overthinking it.
"You'll come back and wear it one day."
"Absolutely not!"
Zhizunbao turned around and strode away. Do you want him to wear the golden hoop willingly? Wishful thinking!
He crouched down and escaped quietly.
Since Tang Sanzang is already so powerful, it doesn’t make much difference whether he has Sun Wukong or not, so it’s better to let himself regain his freedom.
Since leaving Niuwang Village, there has been a desert. The sudden appearance of green grass in front made Zhizunbao unable to help but take a few more glances.
Then he looked twice more.
It is green and looks like the ecological environment is very good. This kind of plant should not appear in the desert Gobi.
"Wang Wang~"
A dog ran over, lifted its legs and urinated in the grass.
"It turns out that I was overthinking." Zhizunbao let out a sigh of relief.
Just now he suspected that it was Tang Sanzang who sent people to capture him, but based on his brief understanding of Zhu Bajie and Sha Monk, they definitely couldn't stand being peed on by a dog, so there must be no one in the grass.
Just as I was about to walk away, a person suddenly jumped out from the bushes.
"Sun Wukong, I finally caught you alone!"
Zhizunbao: "Damn! Where did you jump out from, you three-eyed guy?"
He had only cursed the other person at that time, why was he so petty? And judging from the flies buzzing around the other person and the pimples on his face, he must have been lurking for a long time.
And the wet hair made him hold his breath when he spoke.
"Death!"
The three-pointed, double-edged sword fell.
Blood splattered.
With a splash, the Water Curtain Cave appeared before our eyes again.
Zhizunbao took a deep breath and came to the golden hoop and the portrait of Guanyin Bodhisattva again.
"Buddha, this is meaningless."
"I told you that you would come back."
"Damn, is this what I want to come back? It was that petty-minded four-eyed guy who attacked me and forced me back!"
"Amitabha, everything has cause and effect, everything is destined."
"..."
It doesn't seem like fate, but more like I'm forcing myself to finish it.
"What will happen if I leave now?"
"The choice is yours, but you'll be horrified when you leave here."
I didn't say anything and really wanted to give you the middle finger.
“Wear it then!” Zhizunbao picked up the golden hoop and put it on his head. The next moment, everything related to Sun Wukong flooded into his mind.
Outside, Erlang Shen had just killed "Sun Wukong" with his own hands. Looking at the corpse on the ground, he raised his index finger and said in a trembling voice: "I hate it most when people call me, Three-Eyed Boy!"
"Boom!" A golden stick suddenly broke through the ground and hit Erlang Shen's face.
He was knocked away and his body quickly fell backwards.
After stopping, I shook my head vigorously and looked forward vigilantly, but found nothing.
When they went to open Zhizunbao's body again, they found that the body had disappeared.
"I'll fight!"
A shout was heard from above his head. Erlang Shen looked up suddenly and saw a monkey holding a stick in both hands and chopping down from the sky.
The head and the stick collided, making a "Duang~" sound with a melodious echo.
Erlang Shen shook his head hard, took several steps back, and then used his three-pointed, double-edged sword to support himself before he could barely stand firm.
"Yawn~"
Sun Wukong: (~O~) → (-)
"Three eyes? Three eyes? Three eyes! Three eyes, three eyes, three eyes!"
The golden cudgel in his hand was like a cat-teasing stick, constantly teasing Erlang Shen, and he never forgot to provoke him with his mouth.
Erlang Shen's eyes were bloodshot, his nostrils were flared and his cheeks were flushed and hot.
"I called you Three Eyes, tsk, you are petty and cowardly to be a deity, a failure! You didn't learn martial arts well and you only know how to look for your uncle, acting like you are the god of war in heaven, and everyone is just giving you face, a failure! You only know how to clench your fists when you get beaten, a failure! The most failed thing is your own ambush, look, there is dog urine on your head, are you kidding me? Hey, there is dog urine!"
"what--!"
"Duang~"
All the anger eventually died down and quieted down.
……
Tan Wenjie stood on the top of the hill holding the Moon Box.
There is nothing worth exploring in the world 500 years ago. The nectar promised by Sister Guanyin has been delivered to his door. He wants to go back 500 years to retrieve his Thor's hammer, as well as his lost sheep and chicken.
As for breaking delusion and seeing the truth, he still has a partial understanding of it. Nine out of ten orifices are clear, and only one is left unknown.
It is certain that breaking delusion and seeing the truth has nothing to do with being picked up by girls, breaking up other people's families, and even less to do with cheating on a cow.
As for the rest, he still needs to practice a little bit.
"Prajnaparamita!"
The moonlight enveloped him.
The scenery in front of me suddenly changed.
Tan Wenjie looked at the environment in front of him.
"Pansy Cave?"
……
The Zhizunbao version of Sun Wukong woke up from his sleep. After being killed by Erlang Shen, he put on the golden hoop and killed Erlang Shen. Unexpectedly, he woke up somewhere else in the blink of an eye.
The Five Sacred Mountains, 500 years ago, the Monkey King’s wedding, Tang Sanzang using the Tathagata Palm to destroy the world, etc., everything seemed like a dream.
Very bad dream.
"I just said that there is no one in this world who is more beautiful than me."
He thought that he must have been too tired and under too much psychological pressure from escorting his master to obtain the scriptures, so after falling asleep he weaved a perfect and handsome image of Tan Wenjie in his dream, and then created a very unlucky Supreme Treasure.
Now that he has woken up from the dream, he knows that everything was fake.
"Big Brother, let's set off."
"coming!"
The monkey stood up with his golden cudgel and just walked out of the cave when he saw a handsome young man coming towards him.
"Wait, why are you here too?" The monkey's eyes widened.
Wasn’t everything that happened before just a dream?
Tan Wenjie yelled, "Whose pet is this? Why doesn't it have a leash when it goes out?"
"Feel sorry."
Tang Sanzang came over and clasped his hands together.
"My master means that my senior brother has a bad nature and often scares people, but please rest assured that he has no bad intentions." Zhu Bajie ran over to translate.
Tan Wenjie asked quietly, "Is he always so concise?"
Sun Wukong: "Fuck, you bastard just pretended not to know me!"
Tan Wenjie: "Be careful of his Tathagata Palm."
Sun Wukong almost instinctively shrank his neck: "..."
Tang Sanzang: "Hurry up."
"Here we come, Master."
The four masters and apprentices set off again. Monkey looked back at Tan Wenjie every few steps, and finally chose to say goodbye by giving each other the middle finger.
“How cool.”
The Moonlight Box can travel through time and space, and it does not travel through a single time, but travels through countless worlds, just like the Tang Sanzang in this world speaks very briefly.
Zhu Bajie in this world is still very lustful.
"This place was once called Huaguo Mountain. Do you know Sun Wukong?" A tour guide who looked like Patriarch Bodhi passed by.
He noticed Tan Wenjie and said unhappily, "What are you looking at? Have you never seen a handsome guy before?"
Someone so shameless must be Patriarch Bodhi.
"Have you ever seen a fist as big as a sandbag?" Grape raised his right hand.
"I've never seen a fist as big as a sandbag, but congratulations, you're going to have a bag as big as a sandbag soon." Tan Wenjie raised his right fist and gestured.
"Am I afraid of you?"
Tan Wenjie threw a flying punch and hit the opponent on the forehead with a loud bang.
"Do you remember that you still owe me something?"
"Damn it! We've already beaten them, and they're not going to blackmail us, are they?" asked the Grape Patriarch.
"So you don't admit it?"
"No, I just want to thank you. It feels bad to owe others something, and now I can finally return it to you." He rummaged through his pocket, finally took out a gold ingot and stuffed it into Tan Wenjie's arms.
Tan Wenjie: "Leave."
There was a high probability that he could not get any benefit from Patriarch Bodhi, so Tan Wenjie turned around and left.
Patriarch Bodhi looked at Tan Wenjie's back and whispered, "Humph, go back and take a look at your hand. Your finger bones must be broken."
I just used a little trick to hurt the opponent's hand with my head.
"Hiss~" He raised his hand and touched his forehead, which was swollen and had a big bump.
(End of this chapter)